Operation: Black
by Karissa M
Summary: 'Snogging was pleasant. Snogging with Sirius was perfect.' SB/OC, JP/LE
1. Prolouge

First Year

In her first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry it was Klarissa Admete Sterrling's extreme misfortune to fall in love. Well, it wasn't so much the falling in love part that was misfortunate, more whom it was she had fallen in love with. And truly, she hadn't even started her first year, it was her first ride on the Hogwarts Express.

Perhaps if someone else had told the third years harassing her to 'shut their fat gobs' she would not have been infatuated with Sirius Black. But as fate had it, it was and has sure no matter what she soon have fallen for the handsome boy.

Fate would also have it that half the female population would swoon over him, so Rissa decided right on her first day at Hogwarts that fate sucked. After coming to this well conceived conclusion she decided to stay as far as humanly possible from Black.

This proved harder than she had guessed as both her and Black were sorted into Gryffindor. All hope was not lost though when she became fast friends with Lily Evans, a girl whom had taken an immediate dislike to a boy named James Potter, also incidentally a boy whom she had spent a great deal of time with growing up, the son of family friends. Who, conveniently, became best friends with the Black boy. She simply stuck close to Lily and if the group of boys came close, they ignored them.

Second Year

Rissa was naturally shy, it was simply the way she functioned, and Lily understood that, just as Rissa understood Lily to be outgoing and confident. Not all people, it seemed, understood Rissa's quiet nature, namely the group of four 12-year old boys. Unfortunately this group consisted of James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and Remus Lupin, who is a decent boy mixed up in a mischievous group.

The four of them had resorted to calling her 'Lily's Little Mouse', supposively because she never talked. Though Rissa suspected that they simply couldn't remember her name, and James enjoyed bugging her.

Third Year

The boys had now given themselves the name of the 'Marauders' and had proved themselves to be among the biggest trouble makers Hogwarts had yet seen. James was known to them as Prongs, Sirius was Padfoot, Peter was 'blessed' with the name Wormtail, and Remus with Moony. How her dear adoptive cousin came up with such strange names she did not know.

It was getting harder to avoid the Marauders as they grew older and James's infatuation with Lily grew. Rissa found herself sympathizing with James; he wasn't the only one who had fallen for someone he couldn't have.

To make matters worse Lily had chosen not to take Divination or Care of Magical Creatures, where as both Rissa and the Marauders had. Imagine peoples surprise to see Lily's Little Mouse without Lily. In the end the shy girl suffered the use of her nickname for extra classes the entire year.

Fourth Year

It wasn't until fourth year that Sirius Black discovered the power he held over the female race. That was also the year Rissa's klutz genes kicked in. Her father had always been clumsy, but up until then Rissa herself had been fairly coordinated. Now she could hardly walk down the hall without tripping over her own feet.

As fourth year turned out to be the year of woe, it was also then that several Slytherin boys decided that the Sterrlings were 'blood traders' and took to stalking her down hallways when Lily wasn't around. James deciding that no one had the right to harass his dear cousin besides him, did not take well to this. It resulted in more Slytherins than usual being sent to the Hospital Wing looking dismembered.

Fifth Year

Fifth year brought upon a large change for Rissa. Her mother had been experimenting with spells when something went horribly wrong, resulting in Admete Sterrling's permanent spell damage to the brain and was permanently checked in to St. Mungo's. Rissa took a great blow from this, now living alone with her auror father who was not often home.

She resolved to no longer be the shy, quiet girl. Though she still didn't talk much she began fighting her own battles, instead of leaving to newly made prefect Lily, or Over-protective James. Though most of the battles were against James and his mates.

Sirius Black had taken to snogging whatever girl was nearest to a spare classroom or broom closet. Rissa never took part in these activities, not only because she was neither long legged or overly curvy, she was actually rather curve-less and short, but also because she didn't rush to put herself conveniently in front of a broom closet when Black strode past. True, she had been inconvinced to fall in love with him, but she wasn't a ditzy slut.

Sixth Year

By this point in time the only people calling Rissa 'Lily's little Mouse' were the marauders, even if it no longer fit her. Though, it usually was just 'Little Mouse' or in James' case 'Mousey'. All in all, since her first year at Hogwarts when she promised herself to stay away from Black, she had, so far, failed miserably.

She blamed this on, who else's fault could it be, James Potter. He seeked her out to drive her mad, though not just her, a certain Evans as well. And where James was Black followed. She still got a wriggly feeling in her stomach when she saw him, and felt an ugly monster inside her rear its head when she saw him snogging girls in the hall.

She had long since realized Lily's 'hate' for James had turned to something else, though she didn't badger her best friend about it. Lily would never admit to falling for the Marauder.

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Author's Note

I'm a horrible person, I know! I haven't updated my other story, and I have one on hold, and here I am creating a new one. I am irresponsible and bad. Also a procrastinater. This was only the Prolouge, giving a backround on Rissa, the following chapters, which I have already written, will be in from her point of view, and in her Seventh and Final year at Hogwarts. Arg. I have noticed that Rissa's real name is in fact my pen name with a 'L' added on. Dang it. Oh well.

Let me know what you think!

Karissa M.


	2. Of Klutzes and Padfoot

My dad and I hugged one last time. He squeezed me tight, and I squeezed him back. My dad has black hair, peppered with pre-mature grey-ness, and is a lot taller than I am, probably taller than I'll ever be. We don't look much alike except our eyes, blue-green, and our feet. Weird I know, but we both have slightly large feet. My mom has really tiny feet, and before the accident she was really graceful. My dad and I aren't, we're klutzes. Big ones.

He hasn't been the same since Mom's accident, he used to be really happy all the time, but now, it takes all I have to make him laugh. I can't imagine what it's like for him while I'm at school, all alone at home. I know that he sill loves me, that's why when he is home, he tries so hard to be cheery. But it's not the same.

The Express whistled shrilly and Dad kissed my forehead, managing in the process to bump our heads together. We both laughed and hugged one last time. "I love you, be good." He said letting me go.

"Love you too, Daddy." I smiled and hurried onto the scarlet train, yanking my trunk behind me with one hand and carrying the whicker basket containing my obese tabby cat, which was sleeping soundly, in the other.

Not long after I boarded I heard a familiar voice yell my name. "Rissa! Rissa! I'm Head Girl! I got the badge and everything!"

Yep, that's me. Klarissa Admete Sterrling, more commonly known as Rissa. Or to some people as Little Mouse, or Mousey, though I think I've finally managed to shake the nickname. I'm really tiny, short and thin, with bright orange hair that would be curly, I suppose, if I had it cut short. Instead I keep it long and the curls have this weird stretched out look to them. I usually, like now, wear it in a pony-tail anyway, so it doesn't really matter. It keeps it out of my face.

My best friend, Lily Evans, was power walking towards me. Apparently set on not breaking the 'No Running' rule. Lily is a real stickler for rules, and homework, and anything that pertains to school really. I can't say I am though, I'd rather copy her essays than do my own. Her essays usually get me good grades too. She finally reached me, a huge grin on her face, brandishing a Head Girl badge. I returned her smile and hugged her. "I'm so glad! You were a shoe in though. No surprise you got it." I laughed, "So who's Head Boy?"

Lily shrugged, "I'm not entirely sure. But I bet its Remus..." She trailed off, as if trying to think who else it could possibly be. "I've got to go brief the prefects though. I'll find you later; you've got to tell me all about your summer!" We hugged again and headed off in different directions. Lily to the Prefect's compartment at the front of the train, me to the back, where there still might be a few free compartments.

I had gotten pretty far down the train, waving to people I knew and keeping an eye out for James and his Marauders, when I felt a hand close around my forearm and jerk me into a dark compartment. Immediately my hand jerked to the back pocket of my muggle-made jeans. I made to scream as well, thinking it was a group of Slytherins, getting in their first hexing of the year.

But the presence didn't feel menacing, and the hand wrapped around my arm sent pleasant tingles racing through my body. When my eyes adjusted to the dark I looked into the stormy grey eyes of Sirius Black.

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I couldn't help gasping. My heart was thumping loudly in my chest, and my breathing became shallow. I slowly gained control of myself. "Merlin's Beard, Black! You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

He was smirking. Why did he have to smirk like that? His dark hair fell with effortless grace into his, once again I say it, stormy-grey eyes. Even when he's nearly scared the living daylights out of me he looks irresistibly handsome. "Seen Evans yet then, Little Mouse?" He asked, lips still curved into a smirk.

Merlin, he was awfully close to me, his face inches away from my own. If someone had told me yesterday that, within twenty-four hours, Sirius Black would be near enough to kiss, I would have told them to get their head checked. "As a matter of fact, I have." I put as much acid into my reply as I could, determined not to let him see the effect he had on me.

I don't think it worked very well, because he kept smirking. "Ah, well, I don't suppose you know who the Head Boy is?" His voice was snide. I think it's safe to say we held a mutual dislike for each other. I mean, he and James often tease me, but sometimes Black really acts like he doesn't like me. And even though I am completely in love with him, I hate him for it. Even though I guess it's not his fault I'm hopeless. But then again, it is his fault he's an arrogant toe-rag. Just like James. James is just a more likable arrogant toe-rag.

"Hmmm... Let me think..." I said sarcastically, "Oh! Could it be Remus?" I asked, mock doubt in my voice. Of course it was Remus; he was the only semi-acceptable applicant for the job.

His arrogant smirk widened considerably. "Nope, Mousey, My dear! Guess again!" Three years ago, I never would have even considered the thought of growling at Sirius Black, but now I could feel a low rumble in my throat. What was I? Some kind of animal? I wrenched my arm from his grasp, turned on my heel, and stomped out of the compartment, slamming the door shut behind me.

My trunk and the basket containing Moosey, my fat cat, were still laying discarded in the hall. Moosey had apparently fallen out of his basket when Black grabbed me, but had gone on sleeping on the floor. I righted my trunk, and placed the whicker basket on top of it. Perhaps I was a bit too rough shoving Moosey into it, because she hissed. Black, in a final attempt to drive me mad, ruined my dramatic exit. He strode casually into the hall, hands in his packets, and smirk still firmly in place, he yelled to me the name of the Head Boy. "James Potter!"

I blame it on shock to deep to fathom that I fell flat on my face.

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A/N

The first chapter. I decided to cut it in half, making it shorter, but I think that was a good place to leave it off. Well, please review, and thanks to those two who did, The-Loquacious-Scholar and HpC0ldplay. Chapter two will be up sometime between Monday and Friday. Unless I get impatient and decide to post it earlier.

Karissa M.


	3. Operation: Black

**Chapter Two: Operation: Black**

The last straw. The compartment incident was the last straw. My love for Sirius Black had to end soon. I was sitting alone in the very last compartment on the train. Moosey was sleeping soundly in the seat next to me, curled up. Hurriedly I rummaged through my trunk, and pulled out a small notebook.

True, notebooks are muggle stuff, but I find them better for notes than parchment. I always brought at least one for each class, and a few extras just in case. I dipped my eagle feather quill into my ink well, placed on the seat across from me. I never wrote on the covers, so in the first page I scrawled, 'Operation: Black' in large letters.

I pulled out my wand now, it's 'nine inches, thin, Elm wood, rather flexible, and it's core is the tail quill of a manticore.' I can still remember clearly the day when Ollivander sold it to me, telling me it was excellent for Transfiguration. I tapped the page, and the letters began to engorge themselves, then shrink to normal size, repeating the action over and over again. I like having fun with my title pages. My proudest work was the cover page of a Charms notebook in my fifth year, vines would grow until they completely covered the page, and then would disappear before beginning the process over again.

On the top of the next page I wrote 'Objective'. This word I tapped and it flashed repeatedly from black to red, repeatedly. My infatuation with Black had gone on too long unchecked, I needed to stop. After all, this was my last year at Hogwarts, I should spend it having fun, try going on a few dates, rather than watching woefully as Black snogged the girl nearest to him.

'Continued romantic interest in Gryffindor beater, Sirius Black, is inadvisable. Further emotional damage must be avoided at all costs. I will cure myself of the infatuation. I will conquer my own feelings.'

It was childish to make it sound so official, I admit, but it made me feel more confident. I hardly thought breaking myself would be easy, but I resolved to keep myself busy. It seemed possible, even probable, that being busy wouldn't be a problem. NEWTs were this year, so all the seventh years would have mountains of homework, and I had been corresponding with Professor McGonagall over the summer, discussing the possibility of becoming an Animagus. I had gotten all the papers signed by the Ministry, and after I got used to school again I would start taking private lessons with my favorite teacher.

Okay, yes, I love Transfiguration. It comes easily to me, and McGonagall hardly notices that half my homework is copied from Lily and Remus. Or else she doesn't let on as much. I was excited at the prospect of becoming one of the youngest Animagi in history, and apprehensive to see what I would turn into. I was scared it would be a mouse. What if, after years of denying it, I really was Lily's Little Moue? How could I live with myself? Let alone James! My patronus was a small, sleek leopard, did that mean anything? McGonagall's patronus was a cat with weird markings around its eyes, and that's what she turns into...

My worries were interrupted as the compartment door slid open loudly. James Potter grinned down at me, I hurriedly stuffed Operation: Black into my trunk and stowed away my writing things. His black hair was untidy as always, and his face as handsome as ever. We're related to each other in some distant way, he's my third cousin or something of the like, though we consider ourselves cousins. Growing up we saw each other all the time, our parents were great friends. He had already changed into his robes, and a Head Boy badge gleamed on his chest.

James bowed extravagantly, with a flourish of his hand, "Dear cousin, I am both honored and humbled by your mere mousey presence." He said in a jokingly formal voice.

I couldn't help smiling. James really isn't that bad, a little full of himself, but be really is a nice guy. He's a bit shorter than Remus Lupin, who's a bit shorter than Black. Peter Pettigrew is a great deal shorter than them all. "Hello to you as well, Jamesy dearest!" I said in a sarcastic voice. The I pointed to the badge, "You nicked it, right? Off Remus?"

He crinkled his nose in distaste, "You know, Evans asked the same thing..." He slid the compartment door shut and sunk down into the seat across from me, previously occupied by my ink well. "Have you people no faith in me?"

"Yeah, well Black told me earlier, I just didn't believe him." I snorted, trying not to laugh, just imagining Lily's face when she found out was greatly amusing.

James's face became a bit sterner, more serious, "Speaking of mad things, what's this I hear from your dad about you becoming a animagus?" His eyebrows were raised slightly.

Damn. Leave it my father to recruit James Potter's help. He didn't even want me to try at it, said it was way to advanced for a seventeen year old girl. Okay he said a seventeen year old, but I bet if I was a guy he'd be all for it. I thought that was rich coming from a guy who hunts dark wizards for a living. "That's my business, and I'd thank you to keep your nose out of it." I said sharply. Great. Just great. My over protective dad and my over protective cousin ganging up on me. I just couldn't wait till my over protective best friend joined in the fray.

"Rissa, that's serious magic. Maybe you should think this over more." He wilted slightly under my glare, and then raised his hands in defeat, "Okay! I promised your dad I'd give it a try."

I pulled Moosey, who was still sleeping, from the seat next to me, onto my lap. Avoiding his eyes I mumbled, "I'm of age now. Old enough to make my own decisions." I know I shouldn't have snapped at him. "Anyway, how was your summer?" I asked, changing the subject.

James brightened, with a large grin, "Great! Padfoot stayed at my place the entire holiday! I reckon that's why we didn't visit." He looked at me apologetically at the last point.

I shrugged, "Dad wouldn't have been home anyways, there's been a big increase in Muggle-born murders lately, he's been busy."

He nodded, "I thought he look tired." He commented.

"Yes, well, he's been working very hard. I've spent most of my summer with my mum." Only two students at Hogwarts knew of my mother's condition, Lily and James.

James nodded, "How is she?"

I smiled slightly, "As good as can be expected. She recognized me a couple times."

The door slid open again and Lily came in, followed by Remus Lupin. Lily is truly beautiful, with fair skin and long dark red hair. Her eyes are almond shaped, and a vibrant green in color, she's a bit shorter than James and has a moderately curvy figure.

Remus is handsome, I suppose, with dark blonde hair and light blue eyes. He's not as muscular as James or Sirius, but is thin rather than chubby, unlike Peter. He's always had a rather unhealthy look to him, though I've always wondered why.

Lily cast James a disapproving look and sat in the seat next to me. Remus smiled at me and sat in one of the vacant seats next to James with a cheery "Hullo!"

"Not even at school yet, and already your neglecting your duties as Head Boy." My best friend scolded my cousin, once again glaring at him.

James looked defiant, and desperate at the same time. Deciding to keep the heat off of himself he pointed at me, "Why don't you ask her about the private lessons with McGonagall?" He looked a bit ashamed for ratting me out, but it certainly worked.

"What?" She asked me.

"I'm going to begin training to be an animagus." I told her.

She looked shocked, and Remus's eyebrows rose. "You are?" She asked.

"Yes, I am. And there's no use looking at me like that, Lily, I've made up. I've got all the papers signed, and I'll be starting private lessons with McGonagall in a week or so." She looked ready to protest, so I stood up,"I'm going to change." Hurriedly I yanked open my trunk and wrenched out my uniform and robes, before leaving the compartment to find a nice changing place.

The lavatory was empty, so I hurried in and locked the door. I stripped myself of my muggle clothes, pulling on a slightly wrinkled white long sleeved collared button up blouse, with a red and gold tie and a grey sweater-vest over those, bearing the crest of Gryffindor. Next came the grey knee length pleated skirt, and my trainers. Over it all I pulled my black cloak, this too bore the Gryffindor crest.

When I returned to the compartment I found that the two remaining Marauders, Black and Peter, had arrived, leaving only one empty seat, between Lily and Peter. I pointedly ignored Black and stored my muggle clothes in my trunk. With a mumbled hello to Peter I sat in the seat next to him. The compartment was too full for my liking, so I stayed silent and listened as Lily and Remus chatted animatedly about NEWTs, and James and Black told Peter all about their summer. It was almost relaxing, and probably the only time in living memory my best friend and my cousin had ever been in the same room with out Lily shouting.

These were my last thoughts before drifting off to sleep.

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** A/N**

Hello! It's a little longer than Chapter One! YAY! It was acctually supposed to be part of 'Klutzes and Padfoot', But I decided to split them up. Anyway, the next chapter is coming soon: **Of Carriages and Common Rooms**. I hope you enjoyed chapter two! Please review!

Karissa M.


	4. Of Carriages and Common Rooms

**I have relized that I have not been doing disclaimers. Shame on me!!!!! **

**Disclaimer: Nope, I Own nothing, Hopefully after August seventh I will own a copy of Eclipse, and maybe after September **fifth** I will own a singed copy of Eclipse, but I own nothing now. At least none of the Harry Potter Characters, Other than Rissa, and Rose. Alice is meant to be the future Alice Longbottom. You'll see. I don't own Hogwarts either. Or Thestrals, or carriages, or Common Rooms. Or Sorting Hats.**

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Chapter Three: Of Carriages and Common Rooms

I heard the sound of trunk being rolled away, and Lily's voice telling someone to wake me up, because she, Remus, and James had to guide the ickle firsties. I opened my eyes to see Black's face an inch away from my own. I jerked back, banging my head painfully on the wall behind me, "Oh! Bugger!" I grabbed the back of my head, which was throbbing painfully, "Damn it! Get out of my face, Black!"

Oh, damn. There's that smirk again. His voice was smug, "You actually look kinda cute when you're asleep. Really at peace." He seemed to be expecting me to thank him for his opinion.

"Yes, well I don't appreciate people watching me nap, so next time just wake me instead of spying on me." I snapped. Merlin, we were alone. Defiantly not in Operation: Black's best interests. "Hurry up or we'll miss the carriages." I pushed him away from me, it took all my courage to touch him, and stood up. I stuffed Moosey into his basket and left the train, yanking my trunk behind me.

Black, Peter, and I found an empty carriage, and awaited our friends to join us. I hoped hanging out with the Marauders didn't become a habit; it would put Operation Black in great jeopardy. When James, Lily, and Remus climbed in, the silence was broken, mostly by the two Heads bickering. Remus plopped down in the seat next to me, smiling, "Good nap?" He asked.

My lips twitched into a smile, "Yes, thank you." I cast Black a venomous glare, "And a rude awakening." I rubbed the back of my head where a large lump was forming.

Black smirked again, "You severely over reacted." His voice was airy and light-hearted, "A little compliment and you completely snapped."

I returned his smirk with a glare, "I believe I was talking to Remus. Thanks any way, Black." My voice was a sharp as it had been earlier, I think I had spoken more to Sirius Black today than I had in my entire life.

His grey eyes narrows, his smirk turning into a frown. "Why d'you call me that? You call everyone else by their first name!" His voice was no longer care-free either, it sounded annoyed... and a little hurt?

"Maybe I just like everyone else more than I like you. Did you ever think of that?" I lied, hoping with every fiber in my being he didn't know it was the complete opposite. It was then that I realized the carriage had gone quiet, and everyone was looking between Sirius and I. Nosy sods.

He looked taken aback, and stopped talking; his usually healthy tan skin had paled. All of us lapsed into an awkward silence, until we reached the castle, where the Marauders went on their merry way and Lily and I went ours.

When we left our trunks where the house elves would take them to our dormitories, Lily finally spoke. "So, what was all that about?"

I cast her a wayward glance, "What d'you mean?" I asked her innocently, trying my luck at playing dumb.

"You know very well what I mean." Lily said, her eye brows rising, "What was with you and Black?"

"Ask him! I think I have a right to snap at him after her stalks me, then watches me while I'm asleep!" I said angrily, "Apparently he believes differently." I told her as we sat down at the Gryffindor table.

She snorted, "I bet you're exaggerating." Then she changed subjects, "Can you believe Dumbledore made Potter Head Boy? It's dreadful."

I laughed, "I always kind of suspected Dumbledore was a bit on the barmy side..." My mood was being lightened considerably, and I watched as the hat sang it's song, and the firsties were sorted, clapping every time we got a new Gryffindor, and booing when Slytherin got new additions.

As Dumbledore stood up, arms wide as if to embrace the entire Great Hall, it finally dawned on me that this was to be my last Start-Of-Term Feast. With this new realization, I listened closer than I usually would have. "To our new arrivals, welcome! To our returning students, welcome back! The time for speeches is not close at hand, so for now... Dig in!" And just as always the plates filled themselves.

I gave myself a large helping of mashed potatoes, and molded them into the shape of a volcano before pouring my gravy on them. Well, old habits die hard. I talked on with Lily telling each other about our summers, and ate happily, occasionally taking a sip of pumpkin juice.

Soon the feast was over, and Dumbledore talked about things with a ban on them, no magic in the halls, and no wandering the castle after dark, looking pointedly at the Marauders the entire time, while the boys tried to look innocent. When all was done and he dismissed us to our beds, Lily stayed behind to guide the first years, along with James and Remus.

I knew the castle so well by now, I didn't even have to tell my feet where to go, and they carried me to Gryffindor Tower by themselves. When I reached the portrait hole, the Fat Lady was conversing, more likely gossiping, with a well dressed witch I recognized from a painting on the third floor. I waited patiently for them to notice me.

"Oh! Sorry dear! Didn't see you there!" The Fat Lady apologized, and then asked, "Password?"

I wracked my brain. Lily had mentioned it, I know she had. "Oh! Ah, right, Flibbertigibbet!" Why they come up with such ridiculous passwords, Merlin only knows.

Her portrait sung open, and I heard running footsteps, before I went in a familiar voice shouted, "Oi! Wait up! We aint got the password yet, Mousey!"

I had half a mind to slam the portrait shut and leave Black out to wait for the first years, and prefects, but Peter was with him and it wasn't his fault Black was an arse. I didn't answer vocally, but simply help the portrait open, then went in after them, letting it swing shut behind me.

The Common Room was as warm and inviting as always, dressed in red and gold. The fire was crackling merrily and the squishy arm chairs around it brought memories of curling up to take a nap. There was a couple of tables with comfortable chairs around them, and a couch positioned directly in front of the fire, with two of the previously mentioned armchairs on either side. I had spent many a sleepless night there, just staring into the fire. It all brought a sense of belonging to my heart, of home. I couldn't bear the thought of this being my last year here, in this cozy room.

My eyes stung, but I remembered present company and strode to one of the armchairs, managing to trip along the way. I think Black and Peter were having the same thoughts I was as they sat in two of the other chairs, though Black still brought forth a bark of laughter at my clumsiness.

We stayed like that, in a semi-comfortable silence, until the rest of the Gryffindors arrived, filling the Common Room with chatter and noise. I was two tired to stay in the chair much longer without dozing off, and I definitely didn't want to awake with Black in my face again, so I surrendered my chair to James and followed Lily up to our Dormitory.

When we reached the circular room, that held four four-poster beds, we found our two room mates, Alice Luis and Rosemary O'Hannan, already in bed, fast asleep. We changed into our own night clothes and were out cold the moment our heads hit the pillows.

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**A/N**

Chapter Three, Yay! Hope you enjoyed it. Thanks to all those who have reviewed! And to those who've simply read, though I do love reviews. -Wink, Wink, Nudge, Nudge- The next chapter will come soon! **Chapter Four: Of Flying Food and Friendships**.

Karissa M.


	5. Of Flying Food and Friendships

**Disclaimer:** **Nope, I don't own anything Harry Potter-ish. That all Belongs to J.K. Rowling,because she is amazing and brilliant. I think Warner Brothers owns it too. Not sure though. No sueing.**

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**Chapter Four: Of Flying Food and Friendships**

I'll admit I'm a morning person; of course, I'm a night person too. I'm just not an afternoon person. Weird, huh? Anyway, when I got up in the morning, I woke up Lily, who took a lot more time to get ready than I did. Rose and Alice were both beginning the chores they do every morning to look like girls, as now was Lily. Rose is possibly the best looking in our year, maybe tying with Lily. Her hair is wavy, long, and dark brown, and her skin is light tan, it all makes her large blue eyes stand out. Her mom, a muggle, and her look just a like, whereas her dad is Irish, with pale skin, lots of freckles, and light brown hair. Rose is tall too, with long legs, and curves. I am so very envious.

Alice is pretty to, just not in the same way. Her dark blonde hair is in a pixie cut that compliments her round, friendly face. She's not tooth-picky either, she's pleasantly plump, and it looks good on her. That's one thing I love about Alice, she's not afraid to eat, she doesn't pig out, but if she feels like having a bar of chocolate, she'll damn well have it.

We all get along well, even though we're different. I think this was because in fifth year, when Black had a one night stand with rose and smashed her heart to pieces, we all kind of pulled together to comfort her. Well, it wasn't really a one night stand, it was several days, and all they did was snog excessively, but the idea is all the same.

While they styled their hair, I pulled mine up into a ponytail. As they fussed over wrinkled blouses, I yanked mine on without a second thought. As they applied make-up, I fastened on my cloak and waited patiently at the foot of my bed.

We walked down the Great Hall, talking cheerily about our summers, and what classes we were looking forward to. Just as we arrived, so too did the owl post. My dad's large tawny owl, Artemis, landed neatly in front of me, holding out her leg so I could untie the letter. I did so, reading my dad's clumsy script.

It was just a letter asking me how the train ride was, how Lily was, and if I had spoken to James at all. Apparently the muggle neighbor's cat had just had kittens, they had guilted my dad into taking one once they were old enough. He said he picked the most playful one of the bunch, hoping it could get Moosey off her butt. I folded the letter and tucked it in my pocket, before feeding Artemis a few pieces of cereal and watching her fly off to the owlery, I could send her back with a reply after she had rested up.

I nibbled on a biscuit and a strip of bacon, listening to the conversations around me. Across the table James, Black, Remus, and Peter were laughing at some inside joke, further along the table McGonagall was handing out timetables. When she reached me she glanced at my schedule, "Excellent, you have Transfiguration first thing. See me after class and we will discus your private lessons." She said curtly, giving me the paper and moving on to Lily.

I glanced at it. I was taking the courses required to be an auror, though I wasn't sure if that would be my path in life. I wanted to do something that would help people that much I knew, but I wasn't keen on government work. Besides, like Lily had said, aurors weren't the only people who helped. I could be like my mom and create spells and charms. Although that hadn't turned out so well.

It was as I was mulling these things over that Sirius Black fired and ill-aimed spoon full of porridge at the first year next to me. Instead of hitting target, it hit me.

Of course it hit me. These sorts of things always seem to happen to me. The porridge hit me square in the face, it was warm, and ran a bit. I stayed calm, wiping off the worst of it with a napkin. Black looked aghast, while the rest of the Marauders sniggered. Lily hadn't noticed, too preoccupied with her going over her schedule.

I threw Black an icy glare, and stood up, pushing back my chair. As calmly as I could manage I strode out of the Great Hall, towards the girl's bathrooms. Thank Merlin I waited till I was out the doors to trip over my own feet. I got back up and started running towards the lavatory, no one would see me, they were all at breakfast. I heard hurried footsteps behind me, and an all too familiar voice yell, "Mou- I mean Klarissa! Wait! I'm sorry!"

I picked up my pace, now sprinting to the bathrooms, no way Black was going to see me as red as I though I was. My face was hot and the bathroom was in sight. Finally I rushed through the door into the bathroom, safe and sound. Black couldn't follow me in here. I looked in the mirror, and cringed. I was beet red and bits of porridge clung to my face, there was even some smeared in my hair.

I groaned and splashed my face with cool water. I scrubbed away the porridge vigorously, and managed to get it out of my hair. When I looked back in the mirror I saw Black standing behind me. I winced but didn't turn to face him, instead staring at his reflection in the mirror. "Go away, Black, this is the girl's bathroom." He was close, or at least close enough to make my heart start working double time. I was feeling light-headed, and told myself it was from running here.

"Did you honestly think I would be scared to follow you in here?" He gave a strained laugh, "I've been loads of places I'm not supposed to have been."

I sighed, still watching his reflection in the mirror, "I hoped you'd have the decency not to. You can't even let me wallow by myself; you've got to follow me to make it even worse." I was still feeling dizzy, light-headed, and it wasn't getting any better.

His face fell, "I didn't mean to hit you!" He protested.

I looked away from the mirror, locking my gaze instead on my hands. "Could've fooled me." I knew I was being unfair, that he hadn't meant to hit me, but I was angry and embarrassed. In fact, I'd say the dizziness was getting worse.

I couldn't see him now, but I couldn't see him now, but I felt his eyes boring into the back of my head. I glared fiercely at the stone basin that was the sink. "I really did mean to hit the firsty. Honest." His voice sounded earnest.

I couldn't bring myself to look at him. On the inside I was burning up, angry, embarrassed, melting from his tone. On the outside I felt oddly cold, numb almost. I felt pale, like I was reverse blushing, all my blood draining. And, Merlin, I was getting even more light-headed. Black's voice was curious, almost concerned, "Rissa?" Rissa. Not Sterrling, not Mousey, not Klarissa. Rissa. "Are you... Are you okay? You don't look so good..."

I was going to make some rude retort, but then I looked up into the mirror. I didn't look good at all, on the contrary, I looked horrible. My normally pale skin had turned a light shade of grey. Beads of sweat mingled with the water on my face, but my skin was cold, so cold the marble I was gripping felt warm. I began to shake sub-consciously. My mouth was dry, and the edges of my vision were going black. "I don't think so Sirius." I mumbled almost inaudibly.

He grabbed me before I hit the floor, wrapping his arm around my waist, and slinging my arm around his shoulder. He forced me to lean on him and dragged me out of the bathroom. I knew I was really bad when I didn't feel the normal tingles at his touch. The last thoughts I remember was that this was definitely not a good sign for Operation: Black.

When I opened my eyes I was in the Hospital Wing. I sat up, slowly, and glanced at my watch. One thirty in the after noon. Damn, I'd missed Transfiguration all ready. Madame Pomfrey hadn't noticed I was awake yet, she was checking some things off a list while looking at her potions cupboard. "Um... Ma'am? What happened?" My voice was quiet and shaky.

She turned around to see me, "Hmm... I believe it was an allergic reaction. Did you come in contact with anything you don't usually at breakfast today?" She asked me promptly, getting right to the point.

I laughed weakly, "Porridge." It was true. I had never much wanted to touch the stuff, it looked funny. But this morning... well, you know the story.

She nodded, lips pursed as she jotted something down on a small note pad. "Yes, well, I advise you to stay away form it. Severe food allergies are common, nothing to worry about. Though, you should thank Mr. Black, if it wasn't for him, you probably wouldn't have made it to the Hospital Wing." She didn't know how right she was.

When I entered Charms ten minutes late, everyone stared. Apparently Black had spread the word of my little episode. Unfortunately the only seat left was next to him. I gave Flitwick my note and sat down.

Black glanced at me nervously; we were in the back of the room, purposively taking notes. I was doodling idly in my Charms notebook, and he kept looking at me, then looking away. Apparently He's under the devastatingly wrong impression that he's sly. Believe me. He's not.

Finally he whispered to me, "So... Did you find out what was wrong with you?" He sounded apprehensive.

I threw him an icy glare, "Apparently I'm deathly allergic to porridge." I said bluntly.

He visibly paled. "You're kidding, right? You are freaking joking. That's not funny."

"I know." I continued doodling.

All he could say was, "Shit. I am so sorry." Then, "Prongs is going to strangle me."

I snickered, taking his parchment. I drew a bowl of porridge, an addition sign, then a stick figure with a pony-tail labeled 'Mousey', after which was an equal's sign, then a skull and cross bones. I then gave him back the doodle. "Just a reminder. In case you ever want to throw food at me again."

Black's lips twitched into a smile, and then he added an illustration of his own. I laughed quietly as he taped the parchment with his wand and the doodle came to life. Stick figure 'Black' was making a beeline for stick figure 'Firsty'. The glob of doodle porridge swerved in mid air to hit stick figure 'Rissa', who twitched and fell to the ground, eyes turning to Xs. Stick figures 'Evans' and 'Prongs' attacked 'Black'. It really wasn't that funny, I think I was just giddy from being so close to him.

On a strange whim I crossed out 'Black' and wrote 'Sirius'. A brief look of surprise crossed his face, and then he grinned. I mean, he really grinned, not a smirk or a sneer. A grin. And I grinned right on black. Then it hit me. Was this flirting? Was I flirting? No. No, I don't flirt. Least of all with Sirius Black. The only girls who flirt with Sirius Black are ditzes, airheads, and those who want their hearts broken. In Rose's defense she was one of the first girls he dated, how could she have known?

Anyway, I was just being friendly. I was allowed to be friends with him, right? Oh, gosh, what about Rose? Well, she talked to him sometimes, she's gotten over it. Maybe being friends with him will help Operation: Black. Maybe, my heart will finally realize its breaking way too many rules by being in love with him. Maybe it will realize it's only going to succeed in breaking itself.

And thus became my friendship with the boy I was hopelessly in love with.

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**A/N**

**You like? I hope so! Please review! I loved this chapter, one of my favorites! Thanks to everyone who has been reviewing, I love reading them, they make me feel so happy! Has anyone read Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer? I loved it!!! So great! Poor Jake. I still love Edward better. Anyway, Thanks for reading! Please review!**

Karissa M.


	6. Of McGonagall and Maintaining Control

**Disclaimer: Me no owny. Me no owny everything worth ownying.**

Chapter 5: Of McGonagall and Maintaining Control

As is turned out, my private lessons with McGonagall were mostly reading about becoming an animagus, not actually becoming one. I had them twice a week, Monday and Thursday, and she would send me back to my dormitory with a book to read or a paper to write. My increased work that I couldn't copy from Lily or Remus because they obviously weren't taking the class, meant that Lily was often left to spend time with the Marauders. She didn't seem to mind much though, in fact, the only times she complained was when the boys had been particularly disgusting or reckless.

As the weeks passed I started the actual act of changing my shape. McGonagall and I spent hour upon hour sitting in her office in complete silence as I concentrated on becoming an animal. I still remember the first time managed to change anything. A weird sensation had struck my eyes, like someone had put eye drops on them. I squealed and blinked. Everything had a sharper look to it. McGonagall had inspected them closely then smiled. "Yes, you've changed your eyes. It didn't take you nearly as long as I expected. Won't be too long now..."

I was excused without extra work, and I ran as fast as possible to Gryffindor Tower. When I first looked in a mirror I didn't notice much difference, but then I saw the cat-like pupils. Not beady like a mouse's! I let out another squeal of joy and showed Lily and the Marauders. I stayed up all night changing them back and forth.

As the weeks went by I also realized that being friends with Sirius wasn't helping my feelings for him. Operation: Black had become somewhat of a journal that I recorded everything in nightly, not really a tool to be used as originally intended.

I found Sirius not to simply be handsome, funny, and arrogant as I once thought, but to be a genuinely nice guy to people he liked, and an exceedingly loyal friend, it was clear to me he would rather die than betray someone as close to him as James, or any of his friends really. I saw his grin more and more, my stomach doing flip-flops every time.

I knew I was only making things harder for myself, but the more I considered ending our friendship, the more I knew I couldn't. I enjoyed his company immensely, not only because of my feelings for him, but because he always knew how to cheer me up,. He knew me so well, even though we had only been civil with each other for a little under two months. I opened up to him, telling him about my mum, and my fears for my dad's safety as the man calling himself 'Lord Voldemort' and his death nibblers, or munchers, or whatever they called themselves, rose into power. In turn, he told me about his own family, about running away from home, and his vile younger brother, Regulus, Slytherin Seeker.

And as Lily and James's 'Evening Hallway Patrols' became more frequent, the time we spent together increased, along with my feelings for him. It didn't help that I was often stuck with Peter, Remus, and Sirius during Hogsmeade weekends, while Lily and James snogged outside the Shrieking Shack.

The worst part was that, through it all, Sirius still made out with everything with a chest larger than his own. This only proved that, as I had known anyway, he harbored no feelings for me.

* * *

**AN**

**I know! Way too late! I'm sorry! And it's not even really a chapter. I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote it. I think it's just there to pass the time till October... I've been busy though! I just started school, yup, I'm FRESH MEAT! AKA: A high School Freshman. I feel so tiny. So lost. Gah, and my older brother drives me to school. It's a really quiet ride to and from school. Next chapter: Of Funerals and Fights and it is WAY longer, one of my favorites too! I hope to update soon, but there's lots of homework and it is depressing. Very depressing. Please review!**

**Karissa M.**


	7. Chapter 5 and a Half: Of Funerals

**Disclaimer: No, I own nothing. Except Rissa, because she is my own!**

Chapter Five and a Half: Of Funerals

One dreary morning, near the end of October, I awoke and immediately had the feeling that something was missing. When I got out of bed I realized exactly what it was. No Moosey. Every morning since I could remember started with the cat purring, curled up on my chest. I was instantly worried. She wasn't even in the dormitory; I searched it top to bottom. This made a bubble of fear rise in my heart. I jumped the stairs two at a time down to the Common Room, it was early and a Saturday, so no one was up yet. I found her curled up by the fire, seemingly sleeping. I had known the cat was old, but nothing, _nothing_, could have prepared me for the death of my life-long companion.

I held back tears as I stumbled back up the steps. I got out of my night clothes and dressed in a black muggle t-shirt and jeans, along with my plain black cloak. Black seemed appropriate, after all I was mourning. I took the worn out soft blanket off my bed, it was something I had owned since I was a child, almost as old as Moosey, it seemed to be the right thing to bury her in. I decided not to wake Lily, I could dig a grave by myself after all.

Bundling up Moosey's body, I left Gryffindor Common Room. A few students were up and wondering the halls and most teachers were as well, they look ready to question me, but must have decided otherwise because they let me be. I kept my eyes on my feet, not wanting anyone to see the tears that were welling up in my eyes, and the sobs that were fighting through my mouth.

It was in this manner that I ran straight into Professor McGonagall. I didn't look up at her, but apologized quietly, "Oh… S-sorry, Pr-Professor. Wa-wasn't watching wh-where I wa-was g-going."

I heard the curiosity in her curt voice. "Ms. Sterrling, what are you doing? What's that you're carrying?"

"M-My… cat… She, She p-passed away th-this morning…" I sniffed, holding Moosey close, "I-I was going t-to b-bury her…."

I felt her pat my back, "Oh… Oh dear." She said, still patting my back, she steered me towards the grounds. "I'll help you. Then we can go to my office for some tea."

I simply nodded and let myself be led, still cradling the body of my beloved cat. We reached the edge of the Forbidden Forest and stopped. "Is this okay?" McGonagall asked me, her normally sharp voice soft and kind. I glanced around. It was as good a place as any, at least it probably wouldn't be stepped on, most students, excluding The dear, sweet Marauders, steered clear of the Forest's edge.

"Y-Yes, I felt the sobbing trying to start," It's fine." I bit my lip and watched as Professor McGonagall used some spell to create a decent sized hole. I looked at the bundle in my arms and let a sob escape. My poor, dear, sweet, fat cat. I placed Moosey's body in the grave. "I-I…. I guess this is G-Good bye…" I couldn't contain the sobbing now, "I'll miss you." I finished the job with a flick of my wand, the dirt scooted over the edge of the hole and filled it.

McGonagall seemed to read my mind in thinking that something was missing, that Moosey deserved more than a pile of dirt as a final resting place. She transfigured a stray branch into a wooden cross and stuck it in the ground. "So you'll be able to visit." She explained.

I couldn't help it. I hugged her. That's right, I did what not Hogwarts student before or after me has done, I hugged Minerva McGonagall. It was then that I decided she was probably the nicest woman on the face of the earth; she just has different ways of showing it than most. She patted my back again and we walked back to the castle.

I left McGonagall's office a little under and hour later. Everyone else had already eaten breakfast, so now the grounds were crowded; I avoided them as I walked back to the Common Room. When I climbed in the portrait hole I was face to face with Lily. "Where've you been? We've looked all over for you!" I could see the Marauders peeking around the edges of the arm chairs, trying to look small and innocent. Any other time I would have found the scene immensely amusing.

I could feel the tears welling up again, so I blinked them back. No way was I going to cry in front of all them. "I…. I was having tea with McGonagall, if you must know." Not a lie. Before any more questions could be asked I hurried up to the dormitories. I could hear Lily following.

We sat on my bed, she obviously didn't believe me. But it wasn't a lie, it just wasn't the whole truth, I don't lie. Usually at least. "So… Where were you, really?"

I sniffed and brushed away the resurfacing tears. "Burying Moosey. Then I really did have tear with McGonagall." Lilly was hugging me and giving me her sympathies. "I'm fine. Really. But I've got to write Dad." I disentangled myself from her and got out a piece of parchment and a quill from my bedside table.

Lily nodded, "Okay." She paused, "Want me to stay here?" I just shook my head, I'd rather be alone. "Are you sure?" She asked, almost hopefully, "I'd rather be up here with you than down there with them." She wrinkled her nose, "They're so vulgar."

I laughed half heartedly, "I'm positive. When you go down, tell them McGonagall and I will be announcing our engagement any day now. They'll find that funny. Make sure Peter doesn't believe it though, won't you?" That boy could be so gullible. Lily gave a little chuckle and hugged me again before leaving.

I began scribbling a letter to my dad, explaining everything, and telling him of my latest progress as an animagus. I made sure to stress the point that I was fine, and not to let any tears fall on the letter. I waited a few minutes before setting off for the owlery, hoping in vain that the others had left to spend a day on the grounds. When I reached the common Room I looked around, Lily and the Marauders were still there, talking and laughing. I tried to be stealthy as I crept towards the portrait hole, I almost made it too. But let's be honest. This is me. Rissa Sterling. I'm not exactly super-spy material.

I stepped on the hem of my cloak and tumbled to the ground, arms flailing, trying to grab anything that might stop my decent. I ended up grabbing the neck of a first year boy's cloak, and we hit the floor in an entanglement of limbs and with a loud thump. I pushed the dazed boy off of me and scrambled back to my feet and making a sprint for the portrait hole. The sound of my friends' voices stopped as I shut the frame. The fat Lady looked down at me with sympathy, "I'm sorry about your cat, Dear."

I nodded and hurried to the owlery. Picking out a large Hogwarts barn owl that seemed pretty laid back, I tied the letter to her leg, my hands slightly unsteady. I watched as she flew through the window, slowly turning to a tiny dot on the horizon. Man, I was tired, like all my energy had been drained.

I stayed in the owlery for the better part of the day, not yet ready to fac emy friend's sympathy and attempted understanding. When I finally worked up the courage to leave, I took the less used corridors, avoiding the crowds once agian.

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**AN**

**Hi! Yeah... I'm sorry, if that helps. And this is only the first half of the chapter, the 'Of Funerals' part. The 'And Fights' part will come seperately as Chapter 6. I know, it's been forever, but I have been busy. Kind of. Okay, no, I haven't, I've been drawing mostly. Me and one of my good friends just started a Devianart account! You all should go look!**

**www.Ichigo-bakas. the Kari half! I'm afriand I'm not a very good artist, but I'm getting better! And as soon as I can I will start posting pictures of Rissa!**

**Please review, even if it is only to tell me how angry you are with me for not updating sooner.**

**Lots of Love to all, Karissa M.**

**By the way, happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate it!**


	8. Chapter 6: And Fights

**Disclaimer: No, I own nothing.**

On my way back to the Common Room I turned a corner just in time to see Sirius pulling a giggling Hufflepuff I knew as Maryanne Mince into a broom closet, a self assured grin on his face. To say the leastthis did not help my emotional state. It was all I could do not to bust into tears as I passed the broom closet, which was emiting odd sucking noises and giggles.

That night I couldn't sleep, despite how tired I was. Finally I wrnched my comforter off my bed and retreated to the common room, curling up in one of the comfortable arm chairs. The fire was drwimdling and I heard little pattering footsteps. I figured it was one of the houe elves, I had always had a strange liking for the little beings. I had first seen them when I'd somehow found my way into the kitchens, in my second year."Hello?" I asked from my nest of blankets. The scurrying stopped. "Oh! Please don't go! I'd only like to see you!"

The footsetps started again, slower and more hesitant. A small elf came into view, she bore the bat-like ears of most most of her kind, and a small button nose, withe large grey eyes. She was thin, looking younger than most of the other house elves I'd seen, though I wasn't sure how young that was, and wore a clean towel in a toga-like style, with the Hogwarts emblem sewed near the top of it. "See the young mistress, I did not. My appologies, my appologies." She curtsied excessively, ears flapping.

I couldn't help but giggle as I sat up, trying to manage a bow from my seat.She seemed to find this amusing, because she smiled up at me. I stuck out my hand, "Hello! I'm Rissa."My voice was cheery whisper, how could I be glum in front of such an absurdly disproportioned creature?

This was easily the most laid back house elf I'd ever met, she took my hand tentively and shook it."Willy, mistress."

"Willy? Strange name for an elf, isn't it?" I asked, then added, "Please, I'm just Rissa. No mistress about it."

Most ouse elves would have protested, but this one smiled even wider. "Yes Rissa. Willy is a bit of an odd name."

To say the least I was intrigued, "May I help you clean?Only for a bit! I promise I won't get in your way. I just need to keep myself busy." I don't know what made me ask it, but it was true. I needed to keep my mind far away from Sirius and Moosey.

So, when Sirius Black came into the Common Room well after midnight, hair mussed and looking please with himself, he fouund me cleaning away rubbish left on the tables and whispering with a house elf in my old tank top and baggy pajama pants.

He looked around in a dumbfounded fashion, and asked, "Rissa? What're you doing?" The look on his face clearly stated that he feared for my sanity.

Willy looked a bit suprised, but pleasantlyso. "Master Black, I haven't seen you or your friends, Mr. Potter, Mr. Lupin, or Mr. Pettigrew around the kitchens lately." She squeaked and curtsied.

I wasn't feeling particularly warm towards him at that point in time, so I willed that my voice be cold and hard, rather than it's usual quiet and soft tone. "Oh, hello, hello Sirius, had a good snog then?" Well, can you really blame me? What would you do in my place? Forgive and forget? I didn't think so.

"No... No, we've been busy, NEWTS and all..." He answered Willy, then turned to me, he sounded a bit shocked, and confused. "What's got your knickers in a twist?" He asked me, eyebrows raised.

I think Willy could sense the mounting tension of the fight to come, because she curtsied to Sirius with a, "Master Black." and muttered a good bye to me, then dissappeared with a loud crack.

My eyes narrowed at him, "What d'you mean by that?" I asked, my voice a low hiss. I'll admit, I may have been overreacting a bit. But it's not like I had a dream day.

He was still looking at me funny, like he'd never seen me before."What I mean by that it that your obviously not in the best of moods and I want to know why."

"Oh, I don't know, "I said sarcasstically, throwing myy hannds in the air and turning away from him, pacing a bit. "I was just wondering, if I was bit more curvey, would you throw me away like a used tissue as well?" It was true. I did sometimes wonder if my little-girlish figure was the only reason we were friends. Maybe that if I was a bit more busty it would have been me in the closet. Not Maryanne Mince.

Sirius looked like I had slapped him, which I will admit sounded very appealing to me, he opened his mouth a few times, only to snap it shut, in a would-be-amusing imitation of a fish. Finally he manged to form words. "No! You're not like those other girls! You and Lily,... You guys aren't... What I mean is... -You're- You guys are smart! And..."

"And what?" I snapped, "Rose is smart, you still broke her heart. And Maryanne is brilliant, she gotoutstandings in most on her OWLS! Both of them are smarter than me! The only real differance between me and the girls you snog is-Is figures and you know it! Don't even deny it Black." I was fighting to keep my voice low.

"What's the matter with you?" He asked, still stunned, "You've never cared before..."

I snorted, very lady-like, I know. "I've cared! Everyone cares! But nobody has the guts to say anything about it! Well, it's past time somebody did, and it might as well been me." My fists were clenched at my sides, my nails, bit to little stumps, dug into my palms. "The girls you hurt are actual people, with actual feelings, I'm not quite sure you realize that."

I felt a little guilty when I looked up as hid face. He looked dumbstruck, comfused, and upset, all in one. Not at all like the Sirius Black I knew so well, not the cocky and self-assured boy I'd seen pull Maryanne Mince into a closet a couple of hours ago. He looked like a hurt child really. Although how I could compare him to such when he was so much bigger than me I'll never know. "Oh. I see." His voice was flat.

I was already regretting my outburst. How could he make me feel so guilty so fast? "Sirius... I'm sorry... I don't... I'm really.. I didn't mean it." I sounded stupid, I knew.

When I reacked up to put my hand on his shoulder he brushed it off, shaking his head, turning to the boy's dormitories. "Don't appologize, Klarissa You're right after all."

Now it was my turn to feel the mental blow. Klarissa. He called me Klarissa. He hadn't called me that since the first day. Served me right. I winced and watched him as he climbed the stairs and disappeared. Then I threw myself into the chair and sobbed.

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**A/N**

**Took forever, I know. But not as long, right? Be proud of me!**

**Poor Rissa... She just had to go and pick a fight with him. She should have known she'd be the one feeling guilty. But Willy is cool, right? Rissa needed somebdy to talk to when she was mad at Sirius, and Willy is just perfect for the things she doesn't like to tell Lily.**

**Anyway, hope you liked, Review please, I know I don't deserve it, but please do!**


	9. Of Splotches and ScaredyCats

**Disclaimer: I don't own it. Sorry.**

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When I woke up I was aching all over, my eyes stung, and I had a _pounding_ headache. It must have been early, because no one else was in the common room, so I dragged myself and my blankets up the stairs to my dormitory. When I got there I pulled on a pair of jeans and a Hobgoblins t-shirt, rummaging through my trunk as quietly as I could. And then, into the bathroom I trudged.

I looked in the mirror and winced. My eyes were red and puffy, with purple-ish colored bags under them, showing my lack of sleep. My skin was red and splotching too. I splashed water on my face and washed it, that got rid of some of the splotches at least. And it woke me up some more.

I was down to breakfast before anyone else, but surprisingly there was already food on the tables. I didn't drink coffee, it smelled and tasted horrible in my opinion, so instead I poured myself a mug of hot chocolate. I sipped the creamy liquid and felt a little bit better. Actually, a lot better. It's, true what they say, Chocolate really is an emotional band-aid.. I wasn't really all that hungry, despite not eating any dinner the night before, so I simply kept sipping the hot chocolate, and by the time I was done with my first and pouring a second the Great Hall was filling up.

When Lily and the Marauders entered, I waved half-heartedly. Remus sat next to me and Peter next to him, like usual, while Lily sat across from me and James between her and Sirius. I didn't look at them though, I just kept one sipping my hot chocolate. Within the next five minutes though, I caught Lily's whispers. "...Didn't sleep in the dormitory last night..."

Sirius had apparently heard as well, for his voice came next, whispering in return, "She was in the Common Room when I came in, a little after twelve."

James's voice responded, "I knew she'd be upset about Moosey, but for merlin's sake, I mean, it was a bloody cat!" No, she was _my_ bloody cat.

"What happened to her cat?" Sirius asked. He sounded normal this morning, not monotone like last night. Well, at least he's feeling better.

Lily's sharp voice answered, "Are you daft?! I told you yesterday, Moosey died." She sounded annoyed with his forgetfulness.

"Oops..."

"Oops? What does 'oops' mean?" She snapped sharply, obviously angry with him.

His whispering sounded panicked now, "Well, when I came in, we sort of had a row... I didn't know the cat died! Other wise I would have been nicer! Honest!"

"You-." But Lily's venomous voice, telling us all exactly what Sirius was, got interrupted by the incoming owls.

I looked up from my cup, looking for the barn owl I sent with my letter. I found it, accompanied by Artemis, carrying a large box with holes cut in it. I cleared a spot for them to land. The barn owl flew off, but Artemis stayed long enough for me to feed him a roll. There was an odd sort of mewing sound coming from the box, so I opened it.

I small kitten was curled up in the corner, looking extremely distressed. It's fur was grey with very light grey patterns on it, and it blinked it's large gold eyes at me. I scooped up the terrified animal and cradled it to my chest, murmuring reassurances and kissing it's tiny head.

There was a note from my dad in it, expressing his condolences, and telling me how sorry he was. Also assuring me that Moosey led a long and happy life. I resolved to send one back to him explained firmly that kittened are not cut out for owl post. The arrival of Tom, for that was what I named the little kitten, greatly improved my mood. After cooing over him with Lily, and having James tease me over the creativity of his name, I laughed kissed the top of James's head and skipped out of the Great Hall.

Though I think I heard Sirius say rather loudly, "So that's it then? All we have to do is give her a cat and she's right as rain?"

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**A/N**

**I know, I know, you've all waited way too long for sometihing way too short. I'm really sorry.**

**Does that help? Or shall I start groveling for forgiveness?**

**On another note, 'aint Tom the cutest little booger ever to be written about? Other than our dear Sirius, of course. Get it Tomcat? Tom Cat Sterrling, that's his name. Gotta love Rissa's creativity.**

**REVIEW!**


	10. Of Scares and Skirts

**Disclaimed: I don't own JKR's original characters, settings, ideas, and other such whimsical nonesense. Nor do I make any profit from writing this.**

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The Halloween Feast was great, as usual, and The Marauders gave us all a treat with their costumes. Okay, now guess what they came as.  
Girls. Yes, they all dressed up as 'lovely' women. Sirius in Rose's old uniform, James in Lily's, Remus in mine(And looking quite cramped, to be honest), and Peter's stolen from the laundry. We suspected it belonged to a particularly heavy fifth year girl.

Tom had been scared out of his wits when he poked his head out of my school bag, abd came face-to-face with a levitating jack-o-lantern. He had taken to going everywhere with me, hiding in my large duffle. I didn't minf much, but my teachers had some protests. They didn't much like it when he snuck out of it and wandered about the classroom, brushing against legs and knocking over ink pots. But he hated being left alone, and seemed to be frightened of everything. Lily and I blamed this on the trauma of being sent to my by owl post.

Back to the feast. Well, we're were all laughing, having a jolly good time, and Sirius curtsying everytime he got the chance too. I think my outburst a couple of nights ago had cause at least a bit of a change in him. Because even though he ended it with Maryanne, he had not yet been seen snogging since. I was quite proud. To say the least, not seeing the guy I'd been helplessly swooning over since my first year snogging some other girl _constantly_ for the first time since... what, fourth year? Well, the whole thing had me in a very good mood. Though, everyone else simply assumed it was Tom's doing and worshipped him for it.  
He appeared to be going down the same spoiled-rotten road as Moosey.

For my costume, I have changed myself to the furthest extent that I could, sprouting orange hair on my face, cat eyes, ears, and an orange and white striped tail. When the others asked me what exactly I was supposed to be, I just shrugged and said 'I'm confused'.  
Lily, on the other hand, had donned James' Quidditch robes, telling everyone that, though she had not a clue exactly how the game worked, she played it wonderfully.  
Rose and Alce hadn't dressed up at all, though they did take great pleasure in telling anyone who asked that Alice was dressed as Rose, and Rose was dressed as Alice. Since they were both wearing school uniforms.

So, I was chomping happily on a hunk of choclate, while watching Sirius mock-flirt with Jamed and Remus, batting his eye-lashes and puffing out his chest, while twirling a lock of hair around a finger and telling James how amazing a Quidditch player he was, and how the game simply _facinated_ him. Peter was giggling furiously at it, he too eating and watching the comical scene the three made.  
To be honest, all three of them looked ridiculous, and James was the only one who at least fit semi-well into the unniform, though the sleeves where too short and tight.Remus looked the worst, because he was hearing mine. And, of course, it was about fifteen sizes too small. So small, in fact taht he could hardly move.

Sirius turned away from James and Remus, grinning at me. "So, tell me how pretty I look."

I laughed, "Oh, absolutely stunning. You should make the change permanent."

Rose put an eager face on and pointed her wand jokingly at Sirius' lower regions, "Oh! Can I do the honors?" We all laughed at that, though Sirius looked considerably paler.

Tom was sitting on my lap, extremely content aftfer walking the length of the gryffindor table, recieving scraps of food from everyone. Yup. He was definately going down the same road as Moosey. I suppose I'm destined to have all fat-cats. Though, I'll admit that Tom gets a considerably larger ammount of exercize than Moosey did. I want his life to be a long one.

I stroked my cat, and watched everyone laughing and talking. Life was good, I decided, contrary to the very different decision I'd come up with back in first year. Soon, Nearly Headless Nick was doing the epic reinactment of his death, only the first and second years seemed to be amazed by it, after seeing it a couple of times it looses its appeal.

For the sake of being polite, I waited until Nick was finsihed and I had how great it was this year, to announce that I was retiring to bed.

**-SiriusPOV-SiriusPOV-SiriusPOV-SiriusPOV-SiriusPOV-SiriusPOV-SiriusPOV-SiriusPOV-SiriusPOV-**

"I'm going to bed." Rissa yawned, the cat ears pking out from her orange hair twitched slightly. It was wierd for me to see her coated in the orange fur, She stood up and stretched, having moved Tom off of her lap. Okay, I'll admit, It was a pretty flattering angle for her. I got a good look.  
Merlin's pants, I didn't just think that. I didn't.  
I mentally smacked myself. This is _Rissa_. I _don't_ look at Rissa _that_ way. She was a friend. A very good friend. Not to mention James' cousin. Thinking about her that way was a big no-no. A _huge_ no-no. I can't look at her like that.  
But I mean, she was pretty. And I can't deny that every once in a while I wonder if she's a good snogger, or what if would be like to snog her. I'd even considered actually doing it. But...

It was completely _wrong_.

If James found out...  
_How would James find out? _A little voice in the back of my head whispered.  
James would know something was up. He'd ask. And I don't lie to James. At all. I'm alot of things, but I don't betray my friends trust like that.

Rissa was completely off limits.

So I just waved at her, and ate a bit of pudding. I had alot to thik about now. Sure I'd considered Rissa before, but I'm never actually... I just considered every girl, you know? I'd never actually checked her out before. I like spending time with her too much. Maybe I'd not let on, but I was pretty upset about our row the other night as well. I didn't cry, or anything, but I did nearly rip the bed hangings off my bed.

The feast had lost most of its appeal with the departure of Rissa. And the damn skirt was just about as uncomfortable as humanely possible. I honestly don't know how girls can stand them. I know for sure that I couldn't wear them all of the time. I tapped the side of my pudding bowl, before pushing the bowl away from me. "I'm beat." I said bluntly, standing up from the table, waving to everyone, and left.

I emerged from the Great Hall just as Rissa came out of the girl's privy a bit further down the hall. She was back to normal, it was down, so I assumed that was what she'd been attending to back in the bathroom. "Oi! Rissa!" I yelled waving as I ran to catch up with her. Damn. Skirts made running a hell of alot harder.

She was laughing at me, trying and failing to stop as I skidded to a stop at her side. I glared at her, and she managed to gain control of herself, "You know, that you look absolutely ridiculous, don't you?" She asked me, her eyebrows raised to disappear under her bangs.

I tried to look offended, "What? _You_ said that I looked stunning!" I made my voice as high-pitched and girly as possible.

She laughed and started to walk off in the direction of Gryffindor Tower. "I guess you don't just _look_ ridiculous then." She called over her shoulder. Already she was pulling her hair back into it's usual pony-tail. Today had been the first day I'd seen her with it down. And I had to admit, it looked good that way.

"Riss, wait! Don't put it up!" I grabbed her wrist to stop her. I felt somethng like static tingle up my arm when I touched her. I don't even know why I did it. Why did I care how she wore her hair? "I-I Mea..." She was loookign up at me, her blue-green eyes wide, and a bit confused. Why hadn't I ever noticed her eyes before? She has really pretty eyes. No. _Stop_. Stop thinking things like that. Bad Sirius, _very _bad Sirius. Friends don't want to snog other firends. It's _wrong_. I hurriedly dropped her wrist, "Whatever."

Rissa was still looking at me with that calculating look in her eyes. She was rubbing the wrist I had grabbed absent mindedly. Merlin's pants, did I hurt her when I grabbed it? She's so tiny, it was a possiblity. Or... or did she maybe feel those little tingles too? I'd touched alot of girls... But I've never felt those little tinglies before. And it deffinately wasn't a bad feeling either. It was good. Niether of us siad anything. At this point I was positive she had felt _something_. Her face was quickly being flooded with red, the blush creeping up her cheeks. Blushing. And all I did was grab her wrist. She broke the silence, "Well... Well, good night, Sirius." She muttered, turning on her heel and beginning to walk donw the hall agian, although, this time she didn't try to put her hair back up.

I recovered myself and trotted to catch up with her. "Rissa, we're going to same place. Might as well go there together." I laughed.

She wasn't looking at me, instead, she found her shoes particularly interesting. Though, I doubt they were. I could see that even her ears were red with the blush. "Okay, whatever." Her shoulders shrugged as she said it. Why was she blushing so much? We'd walked to the Common Room together before this. Was she remembering me grabbing her wrist? Or had I simply never noticed how easily she blushed?

I kind of watched to touch her again. To see if those little tinges hadn't just been part of my imagination. I didn't think I hd imagined them. They had seemed pretty real to me. Yes, I was fairly sure that they _were_ real. I was positive of it. And Rissa must have felt them too, right?The nest thing I knew I was devisng a way to touch her. An excuse or something of the like, to test my theory.

Merlin. I think I have a problem.

**-RissaPOV-RissaPOV-RissaPOV-RissaPOV-RissaPOV-RissaPOV-RissaPOV-RissaPOV-RissaPOV-**

Sirius and I climbed into the portrait hole together. The Common Room was empty, probably because everyone was still down in the Great Hall, enjoying the Feast. Sirius seemed distant on the way here, ever since grabbing my wrist. He seemed to be thinking something over. I wasn't quite sure that I wanted to know exactly what that something was. I rubbed my wrist subconciously. There had been the normal tingles I got when he touched me. Maybe he had felt them too? I doubted it. He was just being spacy. He does that sometimes.

"Hey, Rissa...?" His voice interrupted my thoughts, I turned to face him, eyebrows raised. He had the self-pleased smirk he got after he'd been snogging some girl, or had pulled a particularly good prank. To say the least, I was a bit alarmed at the thought of either. Sirius' self-pleased smirk had turned into more of a pretatory-grin. So I, being the good prey I am, backed up slowly.  
Sirius snatched my wrist, causing my hand to tingle pleasantly, pulling me a bit closer, "Rissa. You've got something in your hair." He grinned, pulling a little bit of black string from my orange hair.

Well. That was alot of panic for a little nothing. "Oh. Thanks Sirius. I guess." I grinned, taking the string from him. He had yet to let go of my wrist. "Uh.. Sirius?"

He grinned back, "What?"

"Could you, like... Let go of me?" I asked, gesturing to he hand that held my wrist.

**-SiriusPOV-SiriusPOV-SiriusPOV-SiriusPOV-SiriusPOV-SiriusPOV-SiriusPOV-SiriusPOV-SiriusPOV-**

I wasn't imagining the tingles. They happened again when I grabbed her wrist this time. But I think I scared her a little. She'd looked a bit panicked...

I dropped her wrist hurriedly, "Oh! Yeah. Uh, sorry. My bad." I paused, pushing my hair out of his eyes, as I came to a decision. "Say, Rissa, What d'you-"

"Oh, Merlin, where's Tom?" She interrupted me, looking around frantically. Her face was completely horrified, and she gripped her hair at its roots. "Crap! I left him in the bathroom! I forgot him! Poor tommy!" She shrieked.

The next thing I knew, she had pushed me out of her way and wasleaping through the portrait hole, tearing off towards the bathrooms. Why that girl likes cats so much, I'll never know.

I'm more of a dog person, myself.

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**AN:  
I'm sorry doesn't quite cut it, I suppose?  
No, I've used that one too much. I love you guys!  
How about that one?  
Well, this chapter is pretty long, eh? At least for me.  
And its a goody. Sirius POV! That was hard to write.**

**I know I don't deserve it, but please review!**


	11. Of Maps, Marauders, and Marauder's Maps

**Disclaimer: I don't own JKR's original characters, settings, ideas, and other such whimsical nonesense. Nor do I make any profit from writing this.**

**-Maps,Marauders,andMarauder'sMaps-Maps,Marauders,andMarauder'sMaps-Maps,Marauders,andMarauder'sMaps-**

It was late November when I managed to completely transform into an animal. I had expected to be a normal orange cat; it was what I guessed from the ears, tail, and eyes. And a cat I was. Albeit, I was a bit larger than a normal cat. I was a sleek, short haired orange tabby. McGonagall was quite pleased.

I'd had a lot on my mind for the past month, Sirius' wrist grabs, most certainly not the least of my worries. Tom had definitely become a problem as well, Madame Pine had banished me from the library until I could brake him off riding in my bag. The old bat has something against cats. Or it could be related to the fact that Tom used a bookcase as a scratching post... and a book on Salazar Slytherin as a litter box. We were all _so_ proud. But she was kind of pissed... I can't really see why... The guy was a git.

But anyway, I was excited about fully transforming, but decided not to tell anyone. There was one main reason for this: The Marauders. They'd been plotting. Staying to themselves, and always whispering, not to mention wandering the halls at night more often than usual. And Remus had been looking a bit droopy. You know, paler than usual, and the shadows under his eyes more prominent. Was it wrong to be concerned for a friend? No, I answered myself, it wasn't. So, I was planning to follow them, as a cat of course. Maybe if I was a feline I would be a bit more graceful.

I had been paying frequent visits to the kitchens, having little talks with Willy. She always told me the same thing, that she couldn't help with my investigation. That house elves are forbidden to tell students about other students. I had a feeling that 'other students' only really pertained to Remus. I'm not sure what exactly he's hiding, but there's something. There has to be. He's always going off to 'take care of his sick mother', and he always comes back a little worse for the wear. I won't lie and say I wasn't a bit mad at him for not trusting me enough to share the secret. I had always considered us friends, and we had certainly become closer this year.

So, as I left McGonagall's office, arranging to come back the next afternoon to sign more papers and fully registering as an official animagus, I was already planning to follow the Marauders. It was a full moon tonight, so even if I needed to change out of cat form, I would be able to see. I had a strong feeling that tonight their little shenanigans wouldn't be restricted to the castle and I'd be following them out onto the grounds. I was a little apprehensive. Remus hadn't attended classes today, as he always did when 'his mother was ill'. What would I do when I did discover the secret? I decided not to think about it at the moment. I'd tackle that hurtle when it came.

When I reached the Common Room, the Marauders, minus Remus, were still there, whispering. Lily looked annoyed at being left out of the little gathering. I muttered some quick 'hellos' and promptly told them I was exhausted from my lesson. Which was partly true, then departed to the Dormitory.  
Once I was there I pulled on a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved black shirt, before tossing my black cloak over it. Then I jerked shut the hangings of my bed, so when Lily came in she'd think I was already asleep, and transformed. Tom, who was curled up on my pillow, looked at me curiously, before going back to sleep.

I leapt through the hangings of my bed and onto the floor, landing with a small and barely-audible thud. Merlin, for once I was being quiet! I exited the dormitory, for I had left the door slightly ajar for myself, and nudged it closed behind me. I crouched on the stairs, just in time to see the boys disappear up the stair case to the boy's dormitories. Lily walked huffily, right past me, apparently to annoyed to notice the large cat crouching in the shadows.

I followed her to the Dormitory, and listened at the door. I could hear her voice, complaining to me angrily. Then she stopped, and my breath caught, was she going to check my bed? I heard her grunt and the sound of her landing on her bed, before the jerk of bed-hangings followed soon by her light snores, joining in with Rose and Alice's.

My ears pricked forward when I heard the shuffling of feet and someone knocking a chair off its feet. Then came a muttered curse, followed by a grunt of pain. I padded softly down to the bottom stair, peering into the Common Room. There was no one there, but I still heard the grunts and the chair seemed to right itself.  
I heard James' voice, 'Dolt! Be careful!" It hissed form the empty air near the chair.

Sirius' voice replied, from the same empty space of air. "Don't worry so much! Everyone's in bed. We checked the map before Peter left, and saw Lily go up just after us. We're safe." It was a strange feeling to hear their voices, and their shuffling footsteps, but not see them. I carefully skipped down the last couple of steps and The portrait hole was opening now, and before it could swing all the way closed I stuck my paw in the way. The footsteps continued. I hopped through the hole, after waiting for a minute, and let it swing closed behind me. I still kept to the shadows, keeping myself unseen. I heard James and Sirius muttering a little ahead of me. Then suddenly they appeared, in a little nook. James began to say something, but then all three of us hear a little scurrying sound. A large grey rat rounded the corner, carrying a crumpled piece of parchment held in its mouth. James and Sirius exchanged slightly alarmed looks and both crouched to the ground to take the parchment from the frantically squeaking creature. A messenger rat? How weird. Then again, this is James we're talking about. Both of them searched the parchment before their eyes got very large. They exchanged looks, than James nodded and muttered something to the rat, which scurried off. Sirius tucked the parchment into the pocket of his robes.

Sirius glanced around the hall before calling in a soft voice, "Rissa?" I felt my ears fly back, flat against my head. I slunk deeper into the shadows, pressing myself to the way. How did they know? Had McGonagall spread the word that I was now a full-fledged animagus? And had someone seen my following them? No... There had been no one around to see me. Who had sent the rat carrying the message? Peter, maybe? Or Remus, himself?

"Riss, we know you're here. Might as well come out. It was a nice attempt. Almost had us there."James was walking out of the nook, towards me, carrying a silvery cloak.

I decided that I wasn't just going to let them find me, or run away. So, I let out a low little growl, as menacing as I could make it. Both James and Sirius looked taken aback when I stepped out of the shadows, crouching low to the ground. "Merlin, is that you, Rissa?" Sirius asked, keeping his voice low.

"Of course it's her, Padfoot!" James said looking at his watch. "She must have finally managed to completely transform." He then added under his breath, "Let's do this quick, she should have taken him down by now."  
Sirius nodded, hair flopping into his eyes, he crouched down in front of me, "Right, come on, Rissa. Go on back to the Common Room like a good little kitty."

I growled again, and reverted to myself, human that is. Standing up and crossing my arms over my chest, "This good little kitty won't seem so little when sheathed a good chunk out of you." I said, as menacingly as I could manage.

He grinned, "I had no idea you felt that way, shall we go find a cozy broom closet, then?" Sirius asked, straightening up himself, on eyebrow raised, and a crooked smirk on his face.

"Sick pervert. You know what I meant." I felt a blush creeping up my cheeks at the way he had twisted my words. "And I'm not going back to the common Room. I've a right to know where you lot go creeping off to every month or so."

They exchanged looks again, and then James spoke, "Riss, we can't tell you anything. I'm sorry. Just go back. Please?" He looked different. And it seemed less like a command, and more like a plea. "This isn't your business."

I was still resolute, but I felt bad too. Obviously, whatever they needed to do was important to them. "If I go back, I won't be settling with just this. You're going to explain. Soon. Remus is my friend too."  
"We can't" Sirius said bluntly, "Go back to the Common Room. Better yet, go to your Dormitory, get some sleep. You look tired." With that they turned and left. I cast them one last glare and did the same. But I could swear I heard Sirius' voice call softly back to me, "G'night, Riss."

**-SiriusPOV-SiriusPOV-SiriusPOV-SiriusPOV-SiriusPOV-SiriusPOV-SiriusPOV-SiriusPOV-SiriusPOV-SiriusPOV-SiriusPOV-  
**  
Jame sand I walked in silence, every once in a while I glanced at the Map to make sure that Rissa was in fact on her way to the Common Room. She was. And when she got there she stayed there. This kind of ticked me off. I'd told her to go to bed. Why couldn't she just listen, for once? She was probably going to wait for up to get back. Well, good luck to her on that one. By the looks of her, she'd be asleep long before we snuck back into our beds. James kept casting me funny looks, but I ignored him. "Pomfrey is coming back," I told him, after a glance at the Map, "And Pete is waiting for us down there."

James grinned and nodded, before throwing the Invisibility Cloak over the both of us. When Madame Pomfrey came in through the heavy oak doors of the Great Hall, we slipped out.

"Oi! Wormtail! We're here!" James hissed to Peter, who had been thoroughly enjoying himself, chasing his tail. He gave a squeak and darted through the branches of the Whomping Willow, pressing one of the many knots. The branches stopped swaying and the tree completely froze.

James and I grinned at each other. "Showtime."

**-RissaPOV-RissaPOV-RissaPOV-RissaPOV-RissaPOV-RissaPOV-RissaPOV-RissaPOV-RissaPOV-RissaPOV-RissaPOV-  
**  
I was pacing the Common Room, hands interlocked behind me. I wasn't sure what I was waiting for. The Marauders? Willy? Or was I just waiting because I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep? II wandered over to the window, looking out at the grounds. The clouds were drifting lazily through the dark sky, allowing me to catch glances of the stars and the bright full moon.  
Wait. Pause.  
Rewind.

I chewed on my lip. Full moon. Coincidence? I doubt it.

Merlin, have I solved this whole screwed up puzzle just by glancing through a window? Of course! And his nickname is Moony! It makes such perfect sense! No jumping to conclusions, though. I'll have to check the library tomorrow.  
Poor Tom.

The next morning Remus still wasn't at school, of course I expected nothing less. James, Sirius, and Peter kept casting me wary glances, but I ignored them. Lily was doing the same, though I assumed for different reasons. In Transfiguration, I was asked to demonstrate my transformation form human to cat and back again for the class. Lily was so excited that I had managed it, she stopped being mad at all three of the boys and talked to them animatedly, while hugging me around the neck.

I received a rather vicious glare from a Slytherin boy across the room. At once I recognized him as Severous Snape; Hooked nose, greasy hair and all. And I glared right on back. Slimey git. He hated me, simply because I was Lily's best friend. In a way, I had taken his place. And I hated him because not only did he call my mum a Looney in fifth year, and me a 'blood traitor', but he called Lily a 'mudblood'. Prat.  
Plus, he really needed to wash his hair more often.

We continued glaring at each other until the bell rang, and Snape shuffled off for Herbolagy while the Marauders and I strode across the grounds to Care of Magical Creatures, and Lily hurried to Ancient Runes.  
I probably should have dropped Care of Magical Creatures last year, to give myself more time for homework and that kind of stuff. The class was really only me, the Marauders, and a plump Hufflepuff girl with a happy face named Klara Abbott. Professor Kettleburn was a willowy wizard, with several missing fingers, and dark brown hair, slowly turning grey.

"Ah... I see Mr. Lupin is absent again today. Very well, Mr. Potter, make sure to fill him in on the lesson." Kettleburn nodded his head at James. "We'll be doing unicorns today, now follow me, girls first, they aren't quite fond of males..." Klara and I followed Kettlerburn obediently while Sirius James, and Pete looked a bit hesitant. They exchanged looks and followed, a few feet behind us.

The lesson was enjoyable, we learned the many uses of Unicorn hair, and other such things and both us girls touched the beautiful things, petting them and feeding them carrots. By the time is was time to go to lunch, the boys were still casting me nervous glances and muttering to themselves, as we all walked together across the grounds.

Finally, I was sick of it, "Will you lot quit it? I'm not going to bombard you just yet! I'm trying to figure things out for myself first. So don't get your wands in a knot!" I snapped at them.

I ate lunch away from them, sitting with Rose and Alice. I shoveled food into my mouth, fast as I could, and set off again with a wave and a, "See y'all in Potions!" Before setting off to the Common Room. Tom was sleeping in my schoolbag as usual. I tugged him out and set him on the floor in my dormitory. He looked up at me with curiosity. I grabbed my bag up again and ran out of the room, closing the door quickly behind me. I was rushing down the stairs when I hear this distressed meows and pawing at the door. I winced, but climbed out of the portrait hole none-the-less, feeling like I had betrayed his trust.

When I reached the library, I was subjected to a bag check from Pince, but seeing as I had left Tom in my room, she had no reason to deny me entrance. "Hm... 'W'... Werewolves, werewolves..." I mumbled to myself, tapping the spine of each book in the 'W' section. "Aha! Werewolves!" I grinned and pulled out several books and sat at a table. I spent my entire lunch break and half of my free period flipping through the books. The thing was, most of them were on transformed werewolves, how to sort them out form regular wolves, and the others described them as horrid beasts, even without the full moon. I couldn't help but think that the writers of the books were a bit... Raciest? Is that what it would be called? Biased? Either way, I was sure Remus was a werewolf, and he was definitely more civilized than half the boys at Hogwarts. Probably more than half come to think of it...

I abandoned my quest (For the present), and returned to the Common Room. James, Sirius, Peter, and Lily looked up questioningly when I got there. I looked pointedly at the boys. "Oh... Just looking up some stuff in the library."

Tom was waiting right in front of the door when I went to the dorm to get him. He looked at me in a way that wasn't quite angry... but more... Disappointed, maybe? Or betrayed? Either way, it caused me a considerable amount of guilt, and I scooped up my cat, showering him with kisses and telling him how sorry I was to have left him. I guess he forgave me, because when I set him back down, he climbed into my school bag expectantly. I squealed with delight and joined everyone down stairs.

Lily looked at me suspiciously, "You've been awfully quiet today..."

"I've been thinking a lot, is all." I shrugged. "Just was having a thinky kind of day. And I've got to sign a bunch of paper work with McGonagall this afternoon." I pretended to gag, "Really boring stuff."

Lily seemed satisfied with this answer, "But it's worth it, isn't it? Changing into an animal and all?" She hugged me around the shoulders, proudly, "I still can't believe you did it! And so quick! I always knew you were brilliant, you just never apply yourself..."

I shook my head, "I'm good as Transfiguration is all. You're starting to sound like old Sluggy, Lils." I laughed, before my face started sink. "Oh, no. We have potions next?"

Lily nodded, like I was thick. "Yes... That would be correct."

"Aw, bugger... He's never going to leave me alone." I gave her a pleading look, "Try to be extra-amazing today, kay? So he won't hover over my shoulder the whole time?" Slughorn already gave me special attention simply because my mother had discovered several popular charms and jinxes, and my father a well known auror. I didn't even want to imagine what he'd be like now.

**-Maps,Marauders,andMarauder'sMaps-Maps,Marauders,andMarauder'sMaps-Maps,Marauders,andMarauder'sMaps-**

**AN:  
Updated! Yay! Thanks again, and a million times more to Shabbysheikh, who Beta-read! I'm eternally grateful!  
You are the best!  
Seriously.**

**Hm... So I'm going to Midnight Bite tonight, the grand opening of Breaking Dawn! I'm pumped! Me and some friends are all going together. We is pumped.**

**Please review!**


	12. Of Bubbles and Blues

**Disclaimer: I don't own JKR's original characters, settings, ideas, and other such whimsical nonesense. Nor do I make any profit from writing this.**

**-StupidRandomFillerChapterThatHasNoSignifcantImpactOnTheStory-StupidRandomFillerChapterThatHasNoSignifcantImpactOnTheStory-**

In Potions I cleverly sat next to Peter. This was clever for two reasons, for one, Slughorn tends to avoid Peter because his potions often smell putrid. For another, as far as I could tell, Pete was the weak link in the Marauder stronghold. I was sure that with a little persuading I could make him talk.

As I slid into the seat next to him I smiled, getting out my ingredients, book, and tools out of my bag. "Hello, Peter! How're you?" I made sure my voice was kind, innocent. I didn't want to put him on his guard. This had to be done very delicately. Peter was like a rabbit. Any sudden movement or any hint of danger and he'd hop off, without even giving me a chance to ask him a thing.

He smiled back at me in an almost shy way. "Uh... H-hello, Klarissa." Then remembering my question he added, "I'm fine, thanks."

"Please, just call me Rissa, everyone does." I slumped down in my seat, trying to look inconspicuous as Sluggy bounced to the front of the class, "Say, Peter, we don't talk much, do we?"I asked him, after Slughorn had started taking his roll call, and he usually took a long time to get through it all, since he always stopped to talk to his favorites.

Pete shook his head, "Not really, no..." He seemed to be wondering why I was sitting next to him, when across the room, there was a free seat near Sirius. Well, Sluggy liked Sirius. Plus, I would never be able to weasel any information out of him. He's way too smart for that. And I'd probably end up giving away my whole little plan, and looking like a complete idiot.

I smiled and nodded, "Well, we should. I think we should play a game to get to know each other better! Like an ice-breaker!"

Peter nodded eagerly, "Su-"

"Ah! Klarissa, my dear girl!" Slughorn had reached me in the role call. "I've heard from Minerva, just this morning, full-fledged animagus! Following in your mother's footsteps, I see!" He laughed, great big stomach bouncing, buttons on his emerald green coat straining, "Or will it be your father's? Planning on being an auror, are you?" He didn't even give me a chance to answer, for just as i opened my mouth to reply, he started up again, "Well, I dare say you'll do well wherever your path takes you, right?" She clapped me on my shoulder, causing me to give a great 'oof' and lean forward, "I'm sure your mother would have been proud." And he moved on.

Old codfish.  
How can I find him horribly annoying if he says something so nice like that? My mum. Proud. It made _me_ feel really proud. I dunno. Maybe I'm reading too much into it. He probably just wants me to like him, but I can't really hate him when he says something really cheesy and nice like that. It's just one of those things that hits you, you know?

He went on with the role call, then started lecturing us on the effects of vertisyrum, and told us to make it, so it would be ready to soak in the full moon tonight. We started without too much groaning and grumbling. I'm not particularly good at potions, but an hour later I saw Lily's, James', and Sirius' potions were all of thin consistency and pale grey, which was what it was supposed to look like at a middle stage. While Peter's was dark purple, and so sticky that he couldn't pull the stirrer he was using out of it. My own consistency was pale blue, and emitting bubbles that floated a few feet in the air, not popping, but bouncing off of each other, like little bumper cars.

Sirius happened to look up from his potion, (After flinging a bit of his watery potion at a Slytherin that yelped as soon as it hit him and started reciting the alphabet backwards, and had to be sent to the clinic.) to see one of these bubbles bouncing past him. I watched as he gingerly took it and inspected it closely. I was terrified that it would burst in his face, having not clues as to the effect this would have, but it didn't. Then he made the mistake of poking it with his wand. The bubble popped with a loud, 'Ftt!' sound, splattering pale blue everywhere and setting off a chain reaction.

All of the pale bubbles started bursting, one after the other, painting the entire room a periwinkle-like shade of pule-ish purple. Including the inhabitants. Sirius and I were the worst, followed closely by Peter. Looking down at my skin, I could hardly see my pale skin under the blue. I was blue. Sirius' face was almost entirely blue, safe a little patch on his forehead that been shielded by his hair. Peter looked like a speckled robin's egg, all dotted with dabs of blue.

"Oops." Said Sirius, with an unapologetic grin.

**-StupidRandomFillerChapterThatHasNoSignifcantImpactOnTheStory-StupidRandomFillerChapterThatHasNoSignifcantImpactOnTheStory-**

"This blue isn't going to come off is it?" Lily whimpered unhappily, scrubbing her arm viciously with the rough side of a sponge. The blue spots were looking more purple by now, from all the rubbing and irritation.

I was staring in her hand mirror still, in complete shock at the Rissa staring back at me. I looked... like a smurf. Or something equally blue and horrible. The color was made all the worse because my skin was so undeniably pale. "You, Lily, should _not_ be complaining. You've only got a few spots."

She gave me a half-sympathetic, half-amused smile, "Well, serves you right. It _was_ your potion." Her voice held the same amusement as her smile.

Wonderful. Bloody fantastic.

At least Sirius had to go to detention for it. I hoped he got something really horrible. Like scrubbing bed pans with a toothbrush _without_ magic. That would probably make me the happiest girl in the entire wizarding world.

After the 'Great Blue Explosion of '78'(as students were already calling it) Slughorn had attempted to clean everything with a scourgify. It hadn't worked. In fact, it only seemed to make matters worse, and someone caused thick, periwinkle blue smoke to fill up the Potions room. We'd had to evacuate the Dungeons so that Professor Flitwick could block it off with sealing charms.

At least some good had come of it. We wouldn't have any Potions until they could figure out home to get rid of it, and the Slytherins were being forced to sleep in the Great Hall(On the floor! Ha!) as well. The Marauders were particularly excited about that bit, because it meant that they'd be able to drop their entire stock of dung bombs in on them.

That didn't change the fact that all of the seventh years in Potions had escaped without some marking of the event. Even old Sluggy's nose was a particularly gruesome shade of blue.

I flopped back on the bed, groaning out my misery. "I'm not leaving this room until I'm back to normal." I was subject to enough jokes. I didn't need to be blue as well.

Lily tossed a pillow at me, giggling, "Oh, relax, Rissa. Sirius, James, and Peter are all out and about. You can't stay cooped up in the dormitory anyway. We've still got other classes." She reminded me, the picture of sensibility.

Oh, I hated her so much sometimes. Her and her good sense.

And then she added, "Besides. You have to go and sign that animagus registration stuff with McGonagall today."

"Oh! Shoot. I can't even mope until Monday?"

"Nope." She said, with too much cheer to be a good person. She wasn't even looking at me anymore, just scrubbing her arm some more. "Christmas holiday in two more weeks anyway. So if it hasn't gonna away by then, you can lock yourself away then."

I glared over at her, "Shush. You'll jinx it." We were silent for several moments, before I asked, "Hey- d'you know what you're doing for holiday yet?"

She looked thoughtful for a moment, and then shook her head. "Nope. I mean, I usually just go home. Mum's written about Petunia and some boy she started dating over the summer. Apparently it's gotten pretty serious. I should probably go and meet him, don't you think? Not that she'd want me too. What about you?" I could hear the hint of bitterness in her voice.

At that I nodded, sighing. "Yeah. I should go home too, I suppose." I replied with just about as much enthusiasm at the prospect as Lily had. I loved Da. I really did. But the holidays with him weren't exactly the most… lively. The most eventful occurrence was usually visiting the Potters. Or visiting Mum on Christmas day. I didn't… have a problem with it. But when Mum was…normal, the holidays were fun. Now they were just depressing, and brought up painful memories.

I let the hand mirror fall onto the bed, ready to change the subject away from such unhappy discussion (Wasn't it disgusting that we were thinking of Christmas as unhappy?). "I should go to McGonagall's office." I muttered, stretching out, and concentrating for a moment. My body shifted into my cat-shape, easily as a hot knife sliced through butter.

Lily glared at me, "You cheating little show-off. At least your fur is still blue." She showed me in the mirror. It was.

I flicked my tail at her as if to show her how much of a show off I could be, and slipped out of the room.

**-EndOfStupidRandomFillerChapterThatHasNoSignifcantImpactOnTheStory-EndOfStupidRandomFillerChapterThatHasNoSignifcantImpactOnTheStory-**

**A/N:**

**Okay soooo... Um. Yeah. Originally, this chapter had some important content. But I have recently decided that following my original plan for the story was stupid, since I didn't like it, and it didn't fit, and it would really be anti-climatic.  
So. This became a random, stupid, filler chapter, to update with just so I could distract all of you while I work on some sort of real chapter to follow this one up.  
Plus, it gave me an excuse to make everyone blue-spotted.  
Which is always fun.**

**Something to make you tune in for the next chapter: Sirius and James will be serenading Rissa. Suggest some songs to me. Please. Otherwise I have no clue and it will probably be some horrid song. Like 'Pizza Girl' by the Jonas Brothers.**

**Please review this random stupid filler chapter.**


	13. Giggles and Glares

**Disclaimer: I don't own JKR's original characters, settings, ideas, and other such whimsical nonesense. Nor do I make any profit from writing this.**

**GigglesAndGlaresGigglesAndGlaresGigglesAndGlaresGigglesAndGlaresGigglesAndGlaresGigglesAndGlaresGigglesAndGlaresGigglesAndGlaresGigglesAndGlares**

I ate in the kitchens, with Willy. None of the House Elves laughed at me, at least. Although they did stare a bit. I suppose that was really understandable, and to be expected. I _was _blue.

The whole animagus thing made it easy. Even if people still knew it was me, it was easier to avoid being seen. And for some reason, I found it less embarrassing to have blue fur than to have a blue face. I just slipped quickly through the shadows, weaving towards the Common Room, and waiting a couple of minutes by the Portrait Hole, for someone to open it so I could slip right through after them.

The dormitory door was harder, since the seventh years tended to stick around the dinner hall longer than most. I just changed back at my door, and let myself in. Tom was sleeping on my pillow, tail swishing. I found myself wondering if he was having a dream, and, if he was, what it was about. I mean, what exactly did cats dream about? Mice, rats, and fish?

I closed the door behind me, and went to look in the mirror again. Yep. Still very, very blue. I groaned unhappily and took the mirror off the wall, leaning it face down against the dresser so I wouldn't have to catch glances of my blue face all night. It was hardly even dark out, and I certainly wasn't tired enough to go to bed. So I curled up on the bed with Tom, my lamp it up, and Operation: Black in my lap. I read mostly. Didn't write. Read back on the year. It was funny, I started the book completely obsessed with Sirius, in denial, and desperately trying to not be obsessed with him. And that night I realized that once I had stopped trying so hard not to like him, and just... let things happen, well, after that he wasn't always on my mind.

I was still hopelessly in love with him, I think. But I could function around it. I liked that thought.

The knob of the door rattled. I quickly closed Operation: Black and slid it under my pillow. I got more than enough questions about it from everyone. I had the feeling that Lily was on the verge of stealing it from my bag while I slept. And that would be painfully embarrassing.

Willy was really the only living thing(Well, Tom too.) that I trusted my very serious secret with.

Yeah. That pun was intended.

Blatant, right? Too corny? I thought it was clever, at least.

I wrapped my blanket around my head just in time for Rose and Alice to come in giggling. They stopped dead when they saw my cloaked self. "Merlin's pants, it's true, isn't it?" Rose gasped out, with horror.

"I told you so!" Alice giggled shamelessly. She had a blue spot on the tip of her nose, and her left eye was badly marked. "And you thought that Sirius looked silly, Rissa show her!"

I groaned mournfully, and held the blanket tighter over my head, cutting off my sight of them. "Never. I'm turning myself into a Miss Havisham." I replied glumly, tipping over with a plop onto my pillow.

The didn't answer, only lapsed into a stunned silence. "Uh... Who's Mrs. Haversham?" Asked Rose's voice in clear confusion. I could just see Alice nodding in agreement of her confusion.

"Havisham. She was a character in Great Expectations, by Charles Dickens. She was a crazy old muggle woman who sat alone in her house in her wedding dress because the love of her life left her at the alter." I explained into my blanket and pillow, voice muffled.

More giggling, "You've never been left at the alter. And you don't have a wedding dress." Alice forced out, much too cheerily. "You've never even been on a date, Rissa! How could you have a lost love?" Apparently they don't quite grasp the idea of a sarcastic remark. Or maybe they just chose to make me as miserable as possible.

Wait- "I've never been on a date?" I repeated in slight awe, sitting back up under my blanket-cover.

And another stunned silence. All I could see was the dark scarlet back of my cover-blanket, but I had a vague inclination of what the looks on their faces were. Stunned confusion. Jaws slightly agape, exchanging confused looks, and... "Uhm... yeah. Not that I know of anyway..." Rose trailed off.

"Definitely not. You're romantically deficient." Alice added, with cheerful bluntness.

Lily, it sounded like, had entered without my hearing it. "Oh-yeah. You're a relationship train wreck." Chimed in her voice with a bit more pity than had been held in either Rose or Alice's voice.

I peeked out of my blankets unhappily, affronted. "I am not! I'm just not as pretty as you guys! I dim in comparison, so no boys like me!" I replied back at them. It wasn't my fault that I'd never been asked on a date. I was just a little mousey tag-along.

Lily scoffed as she dropped her bum onto the end of my bed, "_So_ not true. We've been watching you butcher all possible suitors since the fourth year."

Oh that was not true. I would remember if I had any possible suitors. They read my disbelief.

"That's right, maybe ever third year." Said Rose with a thoughtful sigh.

"James helped a bit with the butchering, I think." Sighed Alice, as an after thought.

I piped up my disapproval, "I have never butchered a single person in my entire life, thanks!" I shot at them, waking Tom, who's grey fur puffed out, with a start. "I mean, do I look capable of butchering? No. I don't. I'm half the size of a house elf!" I huffed, wrapping myself even firmer in the blankets.

Tom was perplexed by my blanketed-exterior. He crawled unto my lap, and climbed onto my chest to peer into my eye, by using his claws. Once he had verified that it was indeed me inside the scarlet exterior, he forced himself down my seeing-hole, and into an uncomfortable-for-me position, curled around my neck. Lily snorted her disbelief, "You are so painfully, painfully oblivious. What about when Eric Bones asked you if you wanted to go to Hogsmeade? You said, I quote, because the entire Griffindor forth to seventh years know it by heart, 'Yeah, I want to go to Hogsmeade, I go every trip.'" They all shook their heads in mournful shame.

"But I usually do go to Hogsmeade every trip."

Rose smacked her hand to her face,"And _that_," She said, with a rather uncalled-for exasperated sigh, "is why the male population thinks you're a mentally ill loony. You're so painfully oblivious. _Some_ people, though, seem to mistake it for innocence."

Alice hit Rose's arm, and glared, "Shush! You ruin the intrigue when you say stuff like that." She scolded with unhappiness.

"What intrigue?" Lily and I asked at the same time, both sitting foreward with new interest. Tom mewed in protest, and dug his claws into the back of my neck. I winced, but held focus. What intrigue?

I pulled my blanket hood-off, and dislodged Tom's claws, untangling him from me, and placing him in my lap. Poor Tommy. But pitying Tom and his lack of control over his wickedly sharp claws could wait.

There was intrigue involved.

But Alice and Rose, it seemed, had decided to stop talking. Lily and I continued to stare questioningly at them. They stared guiltily back. It continued like that for several silent minutes.

Finally, Alice burst. "Well, really, I mean, I don't understand it, because everyone's noticed except for you two, and the boys. It's really silly, actually, I think. I- well, _seriously_. Not to say it has anything to do with him. Sirius that is. It was really just a coincidence I used that word-that-happens-to-be-his-name-sort-of." She said almost too fast to understand, puffing afterward. "I mean, really, we shouldn't be saying anything. It's-really-not-_our_-place."

"_Really-_not-our-place." Added in Rose, just as quickly, before they both tipped face-down into their beds, giggling furiously in the way that they always seemed to giggle.

In return, Lily glared at them in that way that she always seemed to glare.(Albeit; She typically didn't typically glare at _them_.)

Alice flipped around, completely unaware that she was in the process of receiving a Lily-Evan's-Glare. "He's terribly handsome, and he has this wonderful plan to make you completely goo over him, because apparently you're not completely goo over him, and he's completely goo over you, and I'll shut up now." And another face plant into the pillow, kicking her feet excitedly. "_Oooooh_, I can't wait!"

I wouldn't be able to wait either if I had any clue as to what she was talking about.

**GigglesAndGlaresGigglesAndGlaresGigglesAndGlaresGigglesAndGlaresGigglesAndGlaresGigglesAndGlaresGigglesAndGlaresGigglesAndGlaresGigglesAndGlares**

"Rissa... James requests that-"

"I am not coming down Lily. I told you to tell him that this morning." I grumbled, pulling my hangings closed.

She opened them again, glaring unhappily. "I am not an owl! And I did tell him. He doesn't want you to come down. He only... Um... He wanted me to say if a specific way. I just can't remember how." She chewed on her lip thoughtfully, then her face lit up, "Right, he said, 'Allow he and Sirius to sing sweet songs to you, and consider joining us all for a dignified lunch by the lake, on this lovely mildly chilly day of exceptional beauty and refinement.' And if you don't listen I'll kill you because they practiced in the Great Hall all through breakfast."

With that she left the room, leaving the door open behind her. Tom leapt after her, chasing her untied shoe lace.

I glanced around frantically, grabbing a black Moosey-mourning scarf off the ground, and wrapped it around my head so that only my blue-trimmed eyes were showing. I proceeded to exit the safety of my dormitory and peek down into the Common Room.

Sirius and James beamed up at me, from on top of a desk. The things that had previosly been on the desk were scattered on the floor. "My love, my life!" Exclaimed Sirius, dramatically stretching out his arms up towards me, "It has been so long since I've seen your smiling face! I yearn for your loving embrace!"

Oh dear god.

They were such idiots.

James also stretched his arms out to me, and they both opened their mouths to emit...

I suppose you could call is singing.

"Lady!"

Sirius went on, soulfully clutching his chest now, "When you're with me, I'm smiling! Give me...."

James cut in, throwing out his arms with bravado, "AH-AH-AH-ALLLLL YOUR LOVE!"

"You're hands!" Wailed out Sirius, offering up his hands to me again, apparently under the impression that his singing was more than satisfactory, "Build me up when I'm SINKINGGGGG! Just touch me! And my troubles all FADDDDEEEE!"

James was now over-dramatically playing air guitar, "LADY! From the moment I saw you!"

"Standing! Ah-ah-ah-all ALONE!"

Sirius' gut was caught by James' elbow(Apparently he wasn't really supposed to cut James off at that part), "You gave! All the love that I needed!"

And Sirius was permitted to sing again, waving his arms to an imaginary rhythm, "So shy! Like child who had grownnnnn!"

And they slung their arms over each other's shoulders and swayed together, beaming still, "You're my lady of the morning! Love shines in your EYYYYESSS! Sparkling clear and lovely! You're my LADDYYYYYYY!" And with that, they leapt off the desk, and flourished their hands in a lame attempt at jazz-hands.

I, naturally, was completely mortified.

**GigglesAndGlaresGigglesAndGlaresGigglesAndGlaresGigglesAndGlaresGigglesAndGlaresGigglesAndGlaresGigglesAndGlaresGigglesAndGlaresGigglesAndGlares**

**A/N:  
Not exactly Helpful, long, or good in any way. But it's hopefully leading somewhere useful maybe. And LOOK! Not two months between updates! Not sure how I feel about last chapters reviews all being anonymous. DX I like replying to them. It makes me feel useful. And I can't when they're anonymous! I still love them, of course, and am eternally grateful! Thanks to Christian for the song. XD**

**Oh! And the 27th is this story's two year birthday! I'll be trying to get the update up on that day. . -marks it on her calander-**

**REVIEW!**


	14. Embarrassment and Emissaries

**Disclaimer: I don't own JKR's original characters, settings, ideas, and other such whimsical nonesense. Nor do I make any profit from writing this.**

**EmbarrassmentAndEmissariesEmbarassmentAndEmissaries****EmbarrassmentAndEmissariesEmbarassmentAndEmissariesEmbarrassmentAndEmissariesEmbarrassmentAndEmissaries  
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"Well? Were you stunned by our phenomenal powers of seduction?" Sirius asked me cheerily, batting his eye-lashes in that jokingly-flirtatious way of his.

I burried my scarfed-face in my hands. I was completely red under the coarse fabric, and the blue dyed skin, and everyone in the Common Room, twenty people from various years, give or take a few, was snickering and staring at me. "We were serenading you! We figured that if you had two lovely men battling it out for your heart in song, you couldn't become a Mrs. Haversham!" James added in with what sounded like self appriciation at his selflessness.

Merlin's pants I hate my life. "Miss. Havisham." I corrected him rigidly, grinding my teeth together and trying to muster as much patience as possible. "And you two are such gits." And with that I ducked my head and fled to my room.

I'm not really sure why I was so upset about it. Maybe I was just being a hormonal girl. That time of the month _was_ coming up...

But no. Not that. It just upset me. Without reason. I knew they didn't mean to. They never really had bad intentions. They just did stupid things without thinking. And I was mad.

I could hear them shouting down in the Common Room, and Lily scolding; something like 'I TOLD YOU SO!'.

"Rissa! Come down!" Cried James, "We were just joking around!"

And then Sirius' voice, "Repunzel, Repunzel, let down your long hair! I wish to look upon your face, so pale and fair!" And it sounded like he'd been given a hard elbow to the stomach by James again. "Oof! Owwww!"

My cousin hissed venomously, "Prat! That's what got her mad in the first place!"

At that point in time I could honestly say that I would like nothing more than to completely vanish off the face of the earth.

Funny, how that feeling seems to be a constant presence in my life. I was always a complete mess, tripped over thin air, and my face was blue. There was a loud banging sound, some loud yells and shouts, and a detirmined grunt.

I rushed to the door and pressed my ear to it, to better hear what was going on down there.

That was when the chanting started.

**EmbarrassmentAndEmissariesEmbarassmentAndEmissaries****EmbarrassmentAndEmissariesEmbarassmentAndEmissariesEmbarrassmentAndEmissariesEmbarrassmentAndEmissaries**

"Black! Black! Black!"

I grunted again, and heaved myself further up the steep slope of the steps to the girl's dormitories, holding onto the banister for dear life.

Sirius Black: Boldly going where no boy has gone before.

Seriously.

I tried to get my feet up, to stand, but they just slid right out from under me again. I grimaced, ground my teeth, and tried to find some sort of foot hold. None.

Alright. So that was _not_ going to work.

I gripped the banister more firmly, and pulled myself up further. Wow. This was hard. My arms screamed in protest.

James leapt up after me, trying to get a running start from the other side of the Common Room. He missed the banister by inches and scrambled to find some other sort of hold. He found my head. It jerked back painfully. "OW! PRONGS!"

"Sorry! Sorry!" James appologized profusely, still clinging to my head with resolute resolve. "Now climb, my pet, climb like the little monkey I know you have trapped inside!"

I chomped down on my bottom lip, "I've got no monkeys. Now ger'off'a me!" I growled in response, grasping the banister as tightly as my arms would allow.

His fingers dug into my scalp, "Never! Together we will triumph over this beast!" He assured me with valor, it what he clearly believed to be a chivalrous voice.

My neck was really starting to hurt. And I wasn't sure how much longer my arms could hold us both up. "Prongs! If you don't let go of my head, we'll both fall, and never make it up!" I insisted, clawing the banister to pull us both further up the stair-slide. I was able to worm my way up about two more inches.

James' grip faltered, and he slid down the slide once again, screaming and wailing; "GO ON WITHOUT ME, MATE!"

I clung on and hoisted myself up further. The chanting was wstill going on, mostly the boys of Gryffindor, commending the brave soul who dared to attempt the unattemptable.

You know, this would be alot easier if I just went to my bedroom and got my broomstick.

Why didn't I think of that ten minutes ago?

Too late now.

Only another foot or so. So close.

I let go of the banister with one hand, and swung it up to the ledge of the slide. I dug my finger tips into the stone floor until they ached, and pulled myself all the way up, panting. James led a round of; 'For He's a Jolly Good Fellow' and I made a small, unnecessary bow, before proceeding to open every door until I found the one that Rissa was sprawled on the floor of.

**EmbarrassmentAndEmissariesEmbarassmentAndEmissaries****EmbarrassmentAndEmissariesEmbarassmentAndEmissariesEmbarrassmentAndEmissariesEmbarrassmentAndEmissaries**

I stared blankly up at blue-faced Sirius, my head-cover a tad bit askew. "Um..."

"Why are you on the floor?" He asked me, before I could get anything intelligent out.

I scrambled up clumsily, trying to keep my face covered up. "I- um. Fell." Story of my life.

He seemed to be thinking the same thing, because a wicked grin spread across his face, "Right." And then he frowned again, "Listen, Riss," You really can't get the full power of Sirius' 'Listen, Riss' unless you hear and see it. His eyes got really sincere, and his eyebrows lowered, forehead furrowed. "We didn't mean to upset you. The idea was to embarrass ourselves so much in front of you that you'd feel better about the whole blue thing." He waved his hands expressively, "In hindsight, we probably should have thought of something that wouldn't have embarrassed you even more than it embarrassed us."

I nodded, lips twitching into a smile(Look, it wasn't my fault, you'd smile too if he was being so sweet and sincere to you), "Yeah. Probably." I really hated how much I couldn't be mad at him. All he had to do was bat his eyelashes at me, and I couldn't stay being mad at him. I wonder if he knew the effect he had on me. Probably not. If he did, he'd take advantage of it much more often.

"So will you come down to the lake with us all then? Promise James and I won't burst into anymore spontanious songs." He said, with a grin, clapping me on the shoulder. "Promise I won't laugh at you if you take that ridiculous scarf off." He then added, with a wink.

Releasing a heavy sigh, I glared, "Fine. And fine. And if you do laugh, I'll be forced to remind you that it's all _your _fault." I muttered unhappily, unwrapping the scarf and tossing it on my bed with a huff of discontentment. "How did you get up here anyway?"

With that, he got on his knee, and stretched out his arms; "Baby, there ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low enough, ain't no river high enough to keep me from getting to you!" He sang loudly, completely off tune.

I pulled him off and elbowed him in the stomach. "You are such a ham." And I couldn't keep the affection out of my voice, smiling despite myself.

Sirius grinned wickedly, rubbing his gut dramatically, "Oh, but you wouldn't love me so much if I wasn't."

No. No, I probably wouldn't.

**EmbarrassmentAndEmissariesEmbarassmentAndEmissaries****EmbarrassmentAndEmissariesEmbarassmentAndEmissariesEmbarrassmentAndEmissariesEmbarrassmentAndEmissaries**

******A/N:**

******Short and stupid, I know. But I need some feedback for the next chapter. I'm not sure if I want to do a Christmas shopping trip to Hogsmeade, or a troubling picnic on the Lake? Either way, there will be some drama and whatnot. I just need help deciding what for the dramam will take. It's hard making decisions, you know?  
Thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorited or put the story on their alerts. It's been a bit mind-blowing. I mean, at least fifteen different people added it to their favorites/alerts after the last chapter. Which, I guess, isn't really a big number, but it's a big number for me. XD Thanks again, and I'd love it if I could get the same amount of feedback! It really means alot to know that someone's reading your story,likes it, and/or wants to read it again.**


	15. Gifts and Gabble

**Disclaimer: I don't own JKR's original characters, settings, ideas, and other such whimsical nonesense. Nor do I make any profit from writing this.**

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"Th-this w-weather is ri-ridi-diculous." I chattered out between clacking teeth. We (Peter, James, Remus, Sirius, Lily, and I) were wading through snow that seemed to nearly reach our knees(Even if it was really only up to my shins). Because fate seemed to dictate that to get our Christmas shopping done, we'd have to suffer as much as possible before getting to Hogsmeade. It wasn't even really snow. It was wanna-be snow. You see, the weather was warmer today than it had been since the snow started on Sunday morning. So the snow had melted to a thick slush. Not entirely melted, and not entirely frozen. Just hellishly cold and miserable.

I hate the cold. And the wet.

Sirius laughed good-naturedly, and patted me on my head, ruffling my hair(Like he seemed to enjoy now-a-days), "Oh, Riss, don't talk like that! One would think you're unhappy about being out today."

He, annoyingly, liked the cold weather. In fact, both him and Remus seemed to have more energy than ever this past week. Remus looked almost healthy, for once in his life, smiling brightly and laughing, and having a slush-war with the other Marauders. Sirius looked astoundingly god-like with his hair damp from snow-slush, and ruffled, a grin plastered on his face.

He was wearing a rather warm-looking leather jacket that I was finding myself very jealous of. It was worn, and broken in, and large, and it suited him remarkably well.

Well. Everything suited Sirius remarkably well. But this jacket suited him especially well. I'd never seen him in it before, but it sure didn't look new.

Lily and I stuck closely together, huddling for warmth as we walked, while the boys romped in the slush, throwing it at each other with childish glee. I was almost jealous. I probably would have been, if I wasn't so damn cold.

Once we got into the actual village it wasn't so bad. The slush had been shoveled out of the roads(Or magicked, more likely), so we could walk easily. We were among the first students to get here, so it wasn't too crowded yet.

"We should split into pairs." Said Lily sensibly. "You know, to help each other out, and stuff."

There was a moment of silence before everyone, apart from Remus, simultaneously shouted; "I CALL REM!"

"I said it first!" I said almost immediately afterward, raising my hand high up in the air and waving it around. "I get him!"

James glared,"Not true! I totally said it first!" He protested, a little bit of whine in his voice.

Peter whimpered, "But gu-u-u-uys! I need him the most! I'm the absolute _worst _at giving stuff!" Which was true. But I wasn't about to sacrifice the quality of my gifts just because Peter was a wretched gift-giver.

Sirius cleared his throat, "I think the answer is simple. Remus likes me best. I get him." He said, puffing outhis chest, and smirking.

Lily jabbed him in the stomach, causing him to deflate with an indignant 'oof'. "I think we should let Remus choose for himself." She told us all, in a very matter-of-fact voice.

We all stopped bickering and looked at him expectantly.

His ears and cheeks went rather red, and he held up his hands, palms outward, backing away. "I- Um. Think I'll just go by myself."

Sirius let out a high pitched cry of, "AHHHHEEEAHHH," tackled him to the ground, wrenched him back up again, and ran off before any of us had quite registered what had just happened.

The four of us were left standing there, mildly confused. James spoke up first, voice completely befuddled. "What the bloody hell just happened?"

I myself was still completely in shock of the ferocity of Sirius desperation to use Remus's gift-getting intuition.

I'd needed it to decide what gift to get for him.

**GiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabble**

Sirius dragged me all the way to the Shrieking Shack, looking wild-eyed and paranoid, before saying a single word in response to my protests, exlamations, and demands for him to unhand me. When we finally got there, he threw an arm over my shoulder, and held my head close.

"What I am about to tell you never leaves our cone of silence and trust. Got it? It's for me and you alone." He said, more serious that I think I'd ever seen him.

I raised an eyebrow at him, very confused. "Sirius," I said very slowly, half mocking, "I think you've really, finally, gone insane."

He pushed me away, face red. From embarrassment? "I'm serious, Moony. It's worse than succumbing to the family insanity gene."

It was impossible that he was embarrassed. Sirius Black was never embarrassed. It wasn't in his chemical make-up, or something equally imperative to personalities. "Okay. I'm serious now," Don't even think about turning that into a name pun, "Marauder's Honor, I won't tell a soul." I held up my right hand, left over my heart.

Grey eyes narrowed at me, lips twitching. "Spit on it."

My face twisted with disgust, "Sirius! You know I hate that stupid tradition! It's disgusting!" And juvenile, and just plain unhygienic. They'd made it up in our first year. James had made us all swear that we'd never ever go on a date with Lily.

He was already spitting into his right hand. Without saying a word, he extended it to me. "This is sick." I said plainly, before spitting into my right palm, and clasping his hand, wincing at the cold and wet 'squelching' sound. "I, Moony, swear on my honor as a Marauder that I will never tell a soul what you, Padfoot, are about to tell me."

Sirius nodded his head with satisfaction, wiped his palm on the back of his jeans, and scuffed his toes in the sludgy snow. "I sort of like this girl."

Oh, Merlin. Really? All this was about some girl? "Padfoot, you sort of like alot of girls." I told him plainly.

Brutal honesty was always best in these cases, where he had a huge lapse of judgment.

Shaking his head furiously, he started flushing red again. "No. You don't get it. I sort of really like this _one _girl." He gritted his teeth, looking at his feet, "You can't even tell James, Remus. Only two other people know. And for the record, they didn't even complain about the spit-shake."

James didn't know? How could James not know? They told each other _everything_. "Rissa and Lily know then?" I asked him. They seemed like the obvious two.

He looked up with wide eyes, "No! No! Of course not! Are you _mad_?"

Realization donned on my like a bucket of hot water over my head. "Merlin's saggy left nut. You like Rissa." It was completely obvious now that I thought about it. They spent hours together. Well. Maybe not hours. But he was always grinning at her. And sometimes he'd touch her and make up an excuse about it.

I'd been an idiot not to notice it.

He coughed, "Yes. That." He ruffled his hair a bit, avoiding eye contact, "So. I have a plan. But I can't really... I have to get her something good."

I rubbed my temples. "It's really a curse, being such a wonderful person as I am."

"Oh shut it, you sod, and help me!"

**GiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabble**

"So-o-o...Peter." We'd been walking in awkward silence since we separated from Lily and James.

He replied in turn, smiling good-naturedly. "So-o-o, Rissa."

Grinning, I felt like I had accomplished something important. He'd never joked with me before. It had always been rather stiff with us. "What're you doing for the holidays?" We turned into Honeydukes, him holding the door open for me, very polite of him.

With a shrug he replied, "I dunno. Probably go home. My mum's a bit of a nutter over me. Since I'm her only kid, she's always desperate to see me." He said it with a roll of his eyes, that seemed to say 'Mums, can't live with them, can't live without them'. "You?"

I scuffed my toe, the corners of my lips turning down a bit. "I have to stay. Dad's going to Berlin on Auror stuff, and he says things are getting to bad for me to stay at home alone." I replied, riffling through a bin of chocolates. "You know what kind of chocolate is Remus's favorites?" I asked, squinting at the labels. I really needed to have my eyes examined. I was beginning to think that I needed glasses.

"Um..." He said, thinking, "He likes the chocolate kind. I know that for sure." The corners of his eyes crinkled with laughter. I smiled back. Then he asked, "What about your mum? Won't she be home?"

Merlin's pants. He didn't know? I suppose not. I was never very good friends with him. And I never talked about it(Except with Lily, or James, or Sirius). I bent my head over the bin, determinedly trying to look like I was focused on the chocolate labels. "My mother is a permanent resident in the brain damage ward at St. Mungos." It was hard to add the shrug of my shoulders. Like it was no big deal.

Peter didn't say anything for several long seconds. In the end, he decided to change the subject. "You've not said anything to any of us about staying over break."

I looked up at him, serious, "Don't tell them, please? Lily'll try and get me to let her stay, and she's supposed to go and stay with James, and James'll be all noble and self-sacrificing and stay too, and I really don't want all of that." I knew all to well that I had the best friends in the entire world. I didn't need them to stop their plans just to prove it to me. "Besides. All I really want is a quiet holiday, spent reading, sleeping, and enjoying the silence." I added to assure him, because he was looking unsure.

He nodded his resignment, and then his face lit up, "Remus' favorite chocolate! It's the honey drizzled kind!"

**GiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabble**

I banged my head against the bar of the Three Broomsticks. Remus and I had decided to get a few butterbeers before resuming our search for the perfect gift.

Rosemerta gave my head a pat, "What's wrong with him then, Remus?"

"Oh, good, a woman." I latched on to her arm, and asked, with all due desperation, "Rosemerta, please. Enlighten us mere men. WHAT is it that girls want for Christmas?"

I think I may have frightened her a bit. Remus took over, forcing me to let go of her. "What Sirius means to say is that he's having trouble getting a gift for a friend." He was much calmer than I was. "And he's hoping for a bit of your female insight." Ah. See? It made sense when he said it.

She laughed, and gave my head another pat as I once again banged it onto the table. "I never thought I'd see Sirius Black having girl problems. A special occasion indeed, this calls for butterbeer free of charge." She went to fill up two mugs of it for us.

While I mumbled into the counter, "She never charges me anyway."

**GiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabble**

Peter and I went our separate ways at about two o'clock. He went off to meet up with the group at The Three Broomsticks, while I went on shopping. I still had to get the new skirt I wanted to get Lily, new quidditch gloves for James, something for Sirius, and something for my parents.

This would be the first Christmas I wouldn't be visiting Mum. I swore to myself not to make a habit of it. After I got out of school, I would visit her more often. I couldn't let her become one of those other people, the ones that the healers always told me never got any visitors. I always felt horrible when I saw them. Didn't they have families? Didn't their families care at all? Even though mum never knows who I am, and hardly notices that we're there at all sometimes, it doesn't mean that means I should just give up, right? If the situation were reversed, I know I'd want her to visit me.

I'd still send her a gift. And a note. The Healer could read it to her.

Even while I was thinking of all the things I could do to make it up to her, I felt guilty.

I kicked a rock, watching it go flying off the street and landing with a small 'plop' into the piles of slush on the side of the road. I was still blue, even if it had faded a bit. Most of the Hogsmeade natives had heard from teachers about the incedent, so I didn't get too many strange looks. Instead of going to finish my shopping, I wandered to the hill on which the Shrieking Shack was so precariously perched.

The house had always fascinated me. I liked the idea of it being haunted. And I liked the mystery.

Maybe...

I looked over my shoulder, to double check that no one was around, and found a part of the fence that was mostly hidden by bushes and weeds, clambering over it with as little finesse as I did everything else with. I pulled myself back to my feet, and brushed off my jeans, the cold snow chilling me, but not deterring my determination. I'd never seen the inside before. And My curiosity was insatiable. The slush here hadn't been shoveled, of course, so it reached my calves, and made it sort of hard to walk. I almost considered transforming myself, but decided against it. Somethings had to be done in human form. I wanted the satisfaction of bragging that I'd had the gall to enter the Shrieking Shack alone. James would no doubt be impressed with my bravery.

Hanging around them, it seemed, had taught me not to even notice that tiny nagging feeling in the back of my head that used to warn me when something was a bad idea.

I didn't even register the edge of foreboding that crept into my heart until it was too late to turn back.

**GiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabbleGiftsAndGabble**

**A/N:**

**HAPPY TWO YEAR POSTING BIRTHDAY RISSA. . I actually started writing it on the day that Deathly Hallows came out, but still. We'll go by the day I first posted her. I was really surprised that I never really felt tired of writing this chapter. I enjoyed it. Well, I enjoy writing them most of the time. But usually at about 1,700 words I get tired of it. And that didn't happen with this chapter. I still feel like I could keep going. . But I won't because I enjoy leaving you with a cliffy.**


	16. Shacks and Secrets

**Disclaimer: I don't own JKR's original characters, settings, ideas, and other such whimsical nonesense. Nor do I make any profit from writing this.**

**ShacksAndSecretsShacksAndSecretsShacksAndSecretsShacksAndSecretsShacksAndSecretsShacksAndSecretsShacksAndSecretsShacksAndSecretsShacksAndSecrets  
**

The house was eerie. I didn't use the door, instead I managed to pry a loose board off the side of the house, and slipped in through the small crevice. It was dark inside. Very dark, and the house was creaky. I pulled out my wand and illuminated it's end, using the light to look around the room I was in. The light cut through the dark, and showed me ripped and ruined furniture, and curtains, cobwebs draped from close to everything.

And a smell, the coppery, unpleasant smell of old blood that had been sitting for a long while.

Goosebumps rose on my arms in an unpleasant rippling pattern.

I took several careful steps forward, The thick carpeting crunched a bit under my third footfall. Looking down I could see a dark stain on the ornate rug.

The hair on the back of my neck and arms rose, and I quickly stepped away from the spot.

The floor boards above me creaked loudly, and I heard voices above. I slapped my hand over my mouth to suppress my squeak of surprise and fright. This place really was haunted. But... did ghosts make footsteps? I'd never heard them make footsteps before.

Curiosity killed the cat.

I put out my wand, and tip-toed up the stairs, quietly as I could. My heart was racing, and I felt something close to adrenaline pumping through my veins. My fingers twitched around my wand handle. I edged to the door from which the voices where coming, and couched there, just to the side of the door frame, to listen to what was being said.

"He expects very much of his servants." I knew that voice. I knew it.

The next voice was not so familiar. "I know this. I willingly enter into his service knowing it."

The first voice, that I didn't want to believe was Snape's, replied, "Good. Then you'll receive his mark over the Holidays."

Crabbe, I was sure of it, said, "The Dark Lord don't take kindly to servants who try to back out of their deals." He said, in a menacing, dull voice.

"I would never do him the dishonor." Said the second, younger, and unfamiliar voice. It was a boy's voice too. Young, and quiet, with an air of superiority to it. Something that said, even if he was younger than the other two, he was still their better.

And yet, there was something undeniably child-like, and innocent about it.

And eerie, refined, small, slightly scared voice. I wondered who it was.

"Good." Replied Snape, and I heard footsteps again, coming out. I shifted quickly, easier to hide, and backed up into a corner, slinking carefully and quietly into the shadows like cats were so good at. "Wait at least ten minutes to leave. It will help to avoid suspicion." He and Crabbe emerged from the room, both in black, from head to toe, even complete with drooping hoods that sagged over their faces.

They left silently, whispering.

Well.

You know what I said earlier. About cats and curiosity.

I peeked around the door frame.

If I'd been human, my jaw would have dropped. As it was, my ears pricked forward, and my whiskers twitched.

I'd seen him before, make-no-mistake, but only from a distance, never so close. I'd heard of him, from Sirius mostly. I'd seen him in Quidditch matches. I just wasn't entirely sure that I wanted to believe that the boy I'd heard about and the boy I was seeing were one and the same.

Regulus Black wasn't nearly so tall as his brother, or as muscled. He was thin, and small, and pale. Compared to Sirius, he looked a lot less... well, that was just it. A lot less. He wasn't bad looking, but not so good looking as Sirius. His skin was much paler, his cheek bones much higher, and defined, his jaw much narrower. He looked much too frail, I supposed I'd never paid enough attention to him before to notice, but he looked like he would break at the lightest touch. His hair, dark like Sirius', was slicked back, out of his face, and his eyes were grey. The eyes, I think, were both the thing most like Sirius', and most unlike Sirius'. The same exact shade, but so different on what they said about the person.

Regulus' eyes were sad, and slightly droopy, like a lost puppy's eyes. Sirius' were laughing, and affectionate, and completely trusting, like a dog. Regulus' eyes spoke levels, went on forever, told entire stories about him. Sirius' eyes were always guarded, and only said what he let them.

He was sitting on the very edge of what looked like a very old, very worn bed. The dusty sheets and comforter were shredded. His hands were on his knees, and his head was bowed, brow furrowed.

My orange fur must have stood out against the dreary dull colors of the house, because he looked up, and straight at me. His sad eyes lit up a little bit, and he lowered a hang from his knee, extending it to me palm up, "Hello, kitty. What're you doing here?"

I carefully took steps towards him, paw after paw, and rubbed my head against his hand.

My ear was a tad bit itchy.

He reached down, and picked me up, onto his lap, lips twitching into a tiny smile. "My mother hates cats. She'd never let me keep one. Come to think of it, she won't let me keep any sort of pet," His thin, pale fingers rubbed my ears, and scratched the patch behind them, and I purred, and rubbed back against his hand. "It's a shame. I like cats." He sounded sincere, and sad.

I decided right then that, even if he was a Slytherin, even if he planned to become a Death Eater, Regulus Black was not a bad person. He was sad, he was lonely, but he was _not _bad.

"You're a good cat, aren't you? You're very pretty. And very soft." He whispered quietly, scratching my back, and smiling a little bit more.

Purring deeper, and stretching out my front paws(Careful of the claws),a nd curled up on his lap, yawning wide. "Tired?" He asked, sounding like he was wearing himself. "Yeah, me too. Everyone's tired these days. It's hard. I suppose you wouldn't know about that. You're just a cat, you don't have to worry about that stuff."

He was a very scratcher. "I'd bring you back with me, but my cousin, Narcissa, she hates cats too. She's a bit of a priss, but she's nice."

I found that hard to believe. Narcissa Malfoy had once commented that my hair looked like a doxy nest. And in second year she had yelled at me for tripping over my own feet and dropping my books all over the floor in front of her. She'd then proceeded to kick them, and snicker as I tried to pick them all up.

It was a really horrible and traumatic occurrence, for a second year, you know.

"Hmmm... You think it's safe to leave yet? I don't have a watch. Snape want me to wait a bit. Stupid filthy half-blood. Who's he to boss me about? Big-nosed git."

Maybe Regulus and Sirius weren't so different after all.

I wished I could be more help. But, well, if I shifted now, he'd probably curse or hex me. No need to be cursed or hexed.

I leapt off his lap and trotted away, out of the room and down the dusty hall. My eyes worked much better in the dark when I was a cat. It didn't seem nearly as imposing this way. I turned, and saw that Regulus was stepping carefully after me, wand held up over his head, illuminated at the tip. "It's very dirty in here. Do you live here? It doesn't look like a very nice place to live."

I 'meowed' and kept walking.

When we got out of the shack I slipped under the fence, very easily this time, and into the trees, to where he wouldn't be able to see me. I watched him stare at the spot on the fence under which I had slipped, and them clamber over the fence(Rather ungracefully), and trot away down the hill.

I felt an odd sort of pang in my heart, after I'd transformed back to human. As well as an over-whelming sense of confusion. And worry. Should I tell Sirius? Or keep my mouth shut? What did one do in a situation such as this?

Poor Regulus.

**ShacksAndSecretsShacksAndSecretsShacksAndSecretsShacksAndSecretsShacksAndSecretsShacksAndSecretsShacksAndSecretsShacksAndSecretsShacksAndSecrets**

**A/N:**

**So, this took a while. But I've been doing a bit of Roleplaying, and my brother just got back home from College, so I've had less computer time. I'm not sure what to say about this chapter, other than to insist that I had to do it. Once I realised that Regulus had been surprisingly left out. He's my absolute favorite character in the entire world. So he had to be included. I don't think tis is the last we'll see of him either. So don't worry. He'll be back. Unless you hate him. Then you should worry.  
And I'll be aiming to change your mind. Because he's lovely and adorable.  
Review! Even if you hate it! Please review! Thanks for reading!**


	17. Sad and Saying Goodbye

**Disclaimer: I don't own JKR's original characters, settings, ideas, and other such whimsical nonesense. Nor do I make any profit from writing this.**

**SadAndSayingGoodbyeSadAndSayingGoodbyeSadAndSayingGoodbyeSadAndSayingGoodbyeSadAndSayingGoodbyeSadAndSayingGoodbyeSadAndSayingGoodbyeSadAndSayingGoodbye**

We headed back to Hogwarts with our shopping bags heavy. Sirius lagged behind, whispering furiously to Remus, while the rest of us went on feeling extremely confused, and exchanging worried glances for a few minutes, before we dismissed it as Sirius being odd. James kept trying to peek into my bags to see what I'd gotten him.

I jogged away from him, giggling a bit, despite my hatred for the weather. The was freezing again. The slush had re-frozen, making everything slippery and causing me to slip, and be even clumsier than usual. It was starting to snow as well, the little white fluff drifting down lazily, and landing on our noses and eyelashes. It stood out particularly well on Sirius. He looked like something from a magazine, the white flecks in his black hair, and his dark eyelashes batting lazily. In his lovely leather jacket, shoulders hunched, hands shoved in the pockets.

I should have been paying more attention to walking, and not so much to Sirius, because my next footstep was on an especially slippery patch of ice, and my foot slid out from under me. I fell backwards, arms cartwheeling, onto my bum.

Everyone, of course, burst into simultaneous laughter. Sirius didn't look at me as he held his hand down to me, and pulled me up to my feet again. "You should be more careful." He said plainly, still not looking at me, and walking away, back to Remus, briskly.

No one else seemed to notice this, or maybe they just didn't find it as odd as I did.

The back of Lily's neck was on the receiving end of a loosely packed snowball, courtesy of James, and before I knew it another full-scale snowball battle had broken out again, only this time I was the _only _one not to keen on it, and even Lily was romping around, laughing.

I wasn't in the mood to romp. Regulus was still weighing heavily on my mind. I hung back, away form them and out of danger of stray, or poorly aimed, snowballs. I considered my options for what seemed like the hundredth time. I could tell Sirius,once we reached the castle. Although, I didn't know what good it would do. He and his brother didn't even acknowledge each other's existence anymore. It didn't seem likely that Sirius would be able to talk Regulus out of anything that he wanted to do. Especially if Regulus was half as stubborn or Sirius. But he did deserve to know, at least. Maybe he'd know something that I didn't.

What if he didn't even want to know? What if he got mad at me for telling him?

I knew the answer to that, at least.

It didn't matter. I should still tell him. He needed to know.

**SadAndSayingGoodbyeSadAndSayingGoodbyeSadAndSayingGoodbyeSadAndSayingGoodbyeSadAndSayingGoodbyeSadAndSayingGoodbyeSadAndSayingGoodbyeSadAndSayingGoodbye**

Our last night together, although nobody but Peter and I knew it. I still hadn't told them. Don't blame me. I wasn't entirely sure how they'd take it. Lily simply thought that I was procrastinating on my packing, and no one else had noticed a thing. Although, Sirius did comment at dinner that I had been acting a bit downcast. I just said that it was because we were already halfway through our last then everyone became a little downcast.

We were sitting by the fire, lazing about. The fire was our territory, no questions asked. No one dared sit in the Marauder's chairs- yes, their chairs. They'd owned those chairs since third year, when they'd become the unchallenged troublemakers, and rather feared. Lily and I had become permanent additions to the fireside gatherings, unless they were plotting something, then we typically kept our distance. No one ever doubted our ownership over the rug and four chairs in front of the fire.

I was stretched out on my belly, eyes drooping as I played a half-hearted game of chess with Remus. He was winning, of course, because I was really shite at it, and he was really good. According to James rem is the mastermind behind all of their winning plays on the Quidditch field, so really, he had an unfair advantage over me.

Don't ask me how Quidditch in any way relates to Wizard's chess, I really don't know. But I'm sure it has some sort of significance.

"Check." Said Remus, with a smirk, moving in his knight.

I chewed on my lip, and started twisting a bit of my hair around my finger. "This isn't fair, Rem."

He laughed, and rested his chin on his hand, "Because you haven't said that about ten times throughout this game already."

I shot him a glare, "It's not fair. I stink-" Tom wove between Lily's legs(She was sitting in Remus' chair while he lay stretched across the rug with me), and sat directly on the middle of the chessboard, causing all of the pieces to shriek and hop away. I grinned, having just been spared a humiliating defeat, and scratched Tom's ears happily. "Good boy."

Remus glared at him accusingly, "That cat is a criminal mastermind. He knew exactly what he was doing." She said, with vigor, as he tried to round up all his chess pieces and put them away again.

I scooped up Tom, and kissed the top of his head. "No, he's sweet and innocent." I said, with finality, snuggling my meekly protesting cat. He was wiggling and trying to escape from me, meowing desperately.

I released him and he immediately retreated to the safe-spot under Sirius's chair, peeking at me from behind Sirius's ankles.

"So Rissa, we were thinking..." Said James, changing the subject, "That maybe you and your dad could come and have Christmas dinner with us. Padfoot'll be there, and Lily too, Rem'll probably come so it'd be fun. Maybe even Wormy, if his mum'll part with him."

Oh geez. Lily was smiling brightly, and Sirius looked like he knew that I was of course going to come. Peter and I avoided each other's gazes. "I- Um. Can't, James. Sorry."

They stared at me blankly, then James appeared to have realized something. "Oh- I mean after you've visited your mum, of course." He added hurriedly.

Sirius looked curious, "I'd like to meet your mum. Maybe I could go with you, and we can go to James' together afterward?"

My cheeks went red. "I appreciate the offer, but no." I couldn't help the bitterness in my tone. "I'd rather spend Christmas alone."

More blank stares. "Rissa..." Said Lily, tentatively, "Are you alright?"

"Fine." I said bluntly, jealously growing in the pit of my stomach. I felt on the spot, and bitter. I wish that they would just leave me alone.

James made a face, "Well, your acting like a spoiled brat."

Peter scuffed his shoe, not looking James in the eye. "I think you should just drop it, Prongs."

Silence. James looked absolutely affronted, everyone else just confused. Peter never stood up to Sirius or James. It was absolutely unheard of.

I bowed my head, hiding behind my hair, and silently gave thanks for having told Peter. I'd have to thank him later, for not selling me out. He really was a good friend. Tom crept into my lap, nudging his head under my hands, and urging me to scratch. I complied.

They didn't bring it up again.

**SadAndSayingGoodbyeSadAndSayingGoodbyeSadAndSayingGoodbyeSadAndSayingGoodbyeSadAndSayingGoodbyeSadAndSayingGoodbyeSadAndSayingGoodbyeSadAndSayingGoodbye**

I woke up that morning in an even more sour mood than I had been in the day before. I think Tom sensed it, because he forced his way under my arm and nudge my chest in a very comforting way. Sometimes his constant need for attention got annoying, but when I felt down like this, it was comforting to have someone letting me know that I wasn't as dispensable as I thought I was.

"Rissa- You really have to get up, and pack! I can't believe you put it off this long. Really, I mean, this is absurd, even for you." Lily's voice cut through my bed curtains.

Alice's voice edged around hers, a little hesitant, "Lils, I think that maybe she's not packed because she's not leaving..."

Rose immediately followed with, "Yeah, I mean, she's all but outright said that she's not going home for the Holidays."

How was it possible that they noticed, when the people whom I was closest to hadn't? I mean, I do like Rose and Alice, I'm very good friends with them. But Lily and James were practically family, and they hadn't had a single suspicion. It was oddly discouraging.

Lily was silent for a long while. "That's absurd. Rissa, that's absurd, isn't it?" She asked,poking her head through the curtains.

I sat up, face growing hot with shame and embarrassment. "Um-"

"_Rissa_!" Lily hissed, her face growing red as her hair. "You're not serious! _No_!"

I picked Tom up, and swung my legs out of bed, pulling my shirt down, and ducking my head, "Well, Dad's going out of the country for work and he doesn't want me to be home alone, so yes, I'm staying here, but-"

Her face fell, eyebrows raised, "_You_- you are _so_- why didn't you _say _so? You could have come and stayed with the Potters, I'm sure-"

I squared my shoulders, "Well, I didn't want to. You're going to meet his parents and I don't want to intrude. Plus- well, I do want to be alone for a bit. It's been a hectic year, and the quiet will be a nice break..." I explained, half-heartedly.

She was mad at me, I could tell. We weren't supposed to keep secrets from each other. It was an unspoken rule. Well, this wasn't exactly the first secret I'd kept from her, though. "Fine. Have fun telling the boys. James is going to be absolutely _livid_."

I didn't doubt the truth of that.

When she went down the to Common Room to meet up with the boys, I went in my pajamas, cradling a drowsy just-had-his-ears-scratch Tom. That way, if he decided to hex me, he'd think twice at the risk of hitting the cat. Even though James often teased that he didn't like him, I knew he had a soft-spot from my not-so-kittenly-anymore cat.

Sirius was the first to notice me. "Riss- What're you wearing? You can't get on the train like that."

I coughed awkwardly. Lily rolled her eyes, and explained. "It seems Klarissa has failed to mention that she's not going home this year. She was too busy to in any way communicate with who she says are her friends." She said, bitterness lacing her words.

"Lily! It's not like that! I just didn't want a fuss about it!" I said, cheeks growing red. "I knew you'd react like this, so I decided to put it off!"

Sirius looked personally offended. Like I'd paid him some sort of horrible insult. I felt more guilty than ever. James, on the other hand, had his face slightly gaping, eyes wide. And Remus, of course, looked sympathetic. Peter was avoiding eye contact.

I scuffed me shoe, "Besides, it's only two weeks. It'll go by faster than you know it. And it's not like I'll be completely alone. I'll have Tommy." I scratched his ears, giving a big fake smile.

James and Sirius looked at each other, as if I was the most pathetic thing in the word. "It's really sort of sad," James muttered.

Sirius scoffed, "More like tragic. I can't think of one other person that considers their cat good enough company for two whole weeks, and the holiday."

My eyes narrowed, "Unlike you two, I don't need constant attention and chatter. I'm perfectly happy to read, and be alone." I shot back, voice more snappish than I intended.

We stood in an awkward silence. "Well..." I sighed, "I suppose this is goodbye. Have a good holiday." I tried to sound like I wouldn't miss them all terribly.

They took turns hugging me, Sirius at the end of the line, Lily at the front. When I reached Sirius, I muttered, "Could I talk to you for a moment?" And dragged him across the room without waiting for an answer. "I've been meaning to tell you something."

One of his eyebrows shot up, "Really? Because I have too, and-"

"No, Let me." I said, before I could lose my nerve. "Sirius- I overheard some things and-"

He looked rather pale,"Riss-"

"I think Regulus is going to become a Death Eater."

I said it all in one breath eager to get it out.

He blinked once. And then again, face blank. "Well, of course he is. I always knew that. It was never a question of if, only of when."

This was not the reaction I had been expecting. "Wha?" I asked blankly.

"Well, he's been cutting out clippings, and fantasizing about it since he was thirteen, Riss. I knew that." Sirius said, plainly.

My brow furrowed in confusion, "But-"

He shrugged, "I can't run his life. Even if I wish I could. It's his choice."

I felt rather stupid. I'd built this up to be such a big thing in my mind. "But- he's... I don't understand." I confessed. If I had a sibling, I'd certainly try to convince him not to join- it would be my obligation.

Sirius, sighed, and patted my shoulder, "We hardly speak. He's not going to listen to me, if I try to convince him out of it. He hates me anyway. He's not even really my brother, James, Rem, and Peter have always been closer to me than he is. He's just some kid I used to live with. Really, it's not so big a deal."

I wanted to disagree. It was a big deal. But I held my tongue. "Alright."

"So..." He sad, dragging out the word. "I guess..."

"Bye, Sirius." I said, twisting back and forth with my hands clasped.

He hugged me, wrapping me up tightly in his arms. I tried not to let my heart beat too fast as I hugged him back. "Bye, Rissa."

"Happy Christmas."

He smiled, lips twitching. "Happy Christmas."

******SadAndSayingGoodbyeSadAndSayingGoodbyeSadAndSayingGoodbyeSadAndSayingGoodbyeSadAndSayingGoodbyeSadAndSayingGoodbyeSadAndSayingGoodbyeSadAndSayingGoodbye**

******A/N:**

******I sorta feel like this chapter is a little bit shite. Yes. Shite. Not shit. Just like Rissa's chess-skillz. It's not a typo, it's a WORD. It's my new favotite.i use it all the time. But anyyy-whooo, thenext one Ilike alot. I actually wrote it _before _this one XP It's gonna be longer too, I think. At least. I haven't actually just it through a word counter, but it seems longer to me. And much happier. XP Major happenings, Major happenings.**

******Reviewer spotlight! **Meegz966******! The 100th reviewer! WOOOHOOO! 102 reviews on this story, amkes me happy! Thank you so much, everyone who takes the time to review!  
All of you who don't, I still love you too!  
Just not as much.  
Because, you obviously don't love me as much as the reviewers do. Or else you would tell me so. Like they do. Because they love me more.**

******Review please! I love getting them!  
**


	18. Of Christmas and CutUps

**Disclaimer: I don't own JKR's original characters, settings, ideas, and other such whimsical nonesense. Nor do I make any profit from writing this.**

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Christmas. Christmas alone. It was a sad idea. I'd missed everyone so much throughout the entire holiday, and thinking about going to bed and waking up alone on Christmas morning made things even worse.

No letters all holiday. Not a single letter for any of them. Not from Lily, not from James, not from Remus, or Peter. And the very worst: not from Sirius. I suppose it was silly of me to be so upset. They were all together, enjoying the Holiday at James'. They'd probably not had time to really think about me. I wasn't mad. A bit disappointed, maybe, but not mad.

Alright, that's a lie.

I was absolutely furious. Bad enough that I was all alone(Except for Willy of course, who was good company, but still not the same.), with nothing to do but wander the halls alone, and attempt to teach Tom to play wizard's chess(Really, all he did was pounce on the shrieking chess piece), but to top it off none of my so called friends could be buggered to even remember me? I was miserable and bitter, and absolutely furious at every single one of them. I hardly ever slept in my bed. Instead I slept in the squishy arm chair Sirius usually sat in, by the fire in the common room. I know it's silly, but if I burrowed into it deep enough, and inhaled, I could trick myself into thinking that I could actually smell him.

Which was really, really pathetic of me.

As I was saying, I fully intended to ignore every single one of them when the Holidays were over. If I didn't die of boredom first. Which was a really possible possibility. Christmas eve spent alone with my cat.

Yes. I was already well on my way to becoming that old cat-lady that tripped over her cats, thus breaking her leg, and died alone on her living room floor of starvation and thirst because she couldn't manage to pick herself up and get help or food.

That was where my life was headed. No doubt about it. In a hundred-fifty years, give or take a few decades, I would be rotting on a couch all alone, with ten or twenty cats as my only family. I sighed, and burrowed further into Sirius' chair, trying to inhale a bit more of him for comfort. Yes. The life I would lead was going to be a lonely one. This was only the beginning.

I could already see myself. Once this year ended, Lily and James would get married, and Alice would probably be her Maid of Honor, and Sirius would be the Best Man. And I wouldn't even be sent an invitation. Lily would be a Healer, while Sirius and James became top-notch Aurors, or something of the like. The entire group would keep in touch, Sirius, Remus, and Peter would all share a flat, just down the road from Lily and James.

And I would probably get some boring, nothing job, and waste away.

As you can see, being by myself for two weeks had not done wonders to my mental state. I had thoroughly convinced myself that I was silly for ever deluding myself into thinking that they actually liked being around me.

I actually started crying a bit. But honestly. You have to remember. I had two entire weeks to convince myself of how much they all didn't like me. I'd gone a bit mad all by myself. I'd talked to pretty much no one. Which really, wasn't as fun as it sounded at first. It really wasn't. I missed everyone so badly. And they didn't miss me at all. I was absolutely sobbing into my blankets.

So, I fell asleep, miserable and crying.

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When I drifted back into consciousness, I realized that I really must have burrowed deep into the chair. Because I could really smell Sirius now. It was a mildly dog-like smell, but pleasant. Sort of spicy, but not really. I couldn't explain it, but it was so uniquely him that it was unmistakable for anything else. I loved that smell. It was a comfortable, warm smell.

"Riss…?"

"Oh shit!" My eyes shot open, and I shot back into the chair, away from his much-too-close face. The chair toppled backwards, and he tried to stop it from falling; only succeeding in toppling over with me. I squeezed my eyes shut, "Ow."

He was laughing. Dammit. He was laughing. "Sorry, Riss. Didn't mean to scare you." He laughed, propping himself up on his elbows, but definitely not getting off of me. "Miss me?"

I opened one eyes meekly, face tomato red. "S-... irius?" I asked, not really sure if I was going completely barmy or not.

And sure enough, he was still there, grinning at me as if he'd never once found something so amusing and enjoyable as looking at my embarrassed face. In his defense, I probably looked really ridiculous. "You missed me." He laughed again, and rolled off of me, only to bundle me up in his arms and hug me to his chest so tightly I thought I would suffocate. "I missed you. Gosh, it was insane how much I missed you." I thought I heard him mumble into my hair, before there was a wooshing sound from the fireplace, and he hurriedly rolled away from me.

"SURPRISE!" Shouted James' voice.

Damn him for ruining my brief moment of complete euphoria. "What-"

"Happy Christmas, Rissa!" Said Lily's voice, after another wooshing sound.

I clambered out from behind the toppled chair. They were all standing there. The fire churned green again, and whooshed loudly, and Remus clambered out. He smiled at me. "Hey, Rissa." He laughed.

Even Peter was now stumbling out.

"Oh my goodness." I mumbled, "What are you guys- how did you-?"

Sirius helped me up off the floor, gripping my elbow and hand and lifting me up. They were all in their pajamas, just like me. Well, they were in pajamas. James always used to go to bed in nothing but underpants. And somehow I doubted that Sirius wore more than that on a typical night either. Now the boys were all in flannel pajama pants and quidditch t-shirts. And Lily was in a knee-lengths cotton nightgown, mint green in color.

"You thought we'd let you have Christamas alone? You're a nutter." Laughed James, hugging me tightly.

Lily hugged me next, giggling, "We started talking on the train, and owled Dumbledore, and made all the arrangements!" She told me excitedly, hopping up and down.

"PRESENTSNOWPLEASE!" Exclaimed Sirius, on the top of his lungs, and running to a large pile of gifts in one of the armchairs, stacked precariously high. He scooped them up and dumped them all on the rug.

We all sort of rolled our eyes at him, and Remus helped me right Sirius' armchair. I sat on the rug, between Sirius and Rem, and we all made a circle around the pile of gifts. "Me first!" Sirius said quickly, digging through the gifts.

James unhappily, "I want to go first!"

"Called it!" Shouted Sirius in response, biting his tongue and emerging with a box wrapped in purple paper wrapped in silver ribbon. "This one is from Lolah McLaggen. She's that Ravenclaw with the blonde hair, right?" He asked, already pulling the ribbon off.

James was rummaging through the presents, "I don't have any from girls I don't know this year! What's up with that?" He asked unhappily. We all burst into giggles.

"Serious girlfriend." Sirius said knowingly, "It severely depletes your fangirl count. It doesn't help that everyone likes Lily, so they feel guilty pining. Plus, you stopped being dangerous and spontaneous. I, however, am still on the market, so most of your fangirls transferred their affections to me, thus halving your gift-count, and doubling mine." He explained, while ripping off the purple paper.

We all exchanged confused looks. "I think Sirius just spoke intelligent person." Said Peter in awe.

Lolah McLaggen, that blond Ravenclaw(She was a fifth year, by the way), gave Sirius a pair of girl's undies(We threw them in the fire) and a bag of sweets the size of my head. James went next, and opened up the new gloves I'd gotten him. Lily got a small well of emerald color ink from Remus. Peter opened up my gift of a jumbo bag of Droobles, and Remus opened up a book on the cycles of the moon from Sirius.

"Gee, Padfoot." He said monotonously, setting the book aside, "Thanks. That was really thoughtful of you. Truly."

The boys and Lily all laughed. I tried to manage to look like I had a clue as to what was so funny. "Don't worry, Rissa. It's not really funny. At all." Remus said with a nudge, handing me one of my gifts. But I had a hard time believing that seeing as they were all still laughing.

I sighed heavily, feeling almost precisely like I did just last night, but unwrapped the thin, bendable gift. It was from Peter. And he'd gotten me a calendar with a different picture of a cat for every month. I started giggling, and then everyone took a flip through, and started laughing just like they had for Remus' book, and Peter kept shouting, "What? What? It was all I could think of! She likes cats! You like cats, don't you Rissa?!"

Once we'd stoped laughing long enough, James tackled Sirius to stop him from opening another present from one of the admirers. "Let's not risk any more knickers? Just open the ones from us and open the others later?"

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Oh, fine." He rummaged around a bit, then looked up and waggled his eyebrows, "Does this bird I know called Klarissa Admete Sterrling count as an admirer? She's a quiet little thing, I don't think she'd send me any knickers, but she's certainly an admirer." He teased, shooting me a glance out of the corner of his eye.

"Oh, I've heard of that lass!" Shouted James cheerfully, then lowered his voice, "You'd be surprised mate. I hear from this one bloke she's a real wildcracker."

I'm not sure who's eyes got biggest, mine or Sirius'. "Who?" Asked Sirius, suddenly not joking.

Remus gave a great snort as if trying to suppress an enormous fit of laughter. "You're such and idiot." He giggled wildly, falling onto his back, and bringing his knees up to his chest, and wrapping his arms around them, and rocking back and forth, giggling all the while.

Everyone else was absolutely silent.

Sirius jumped at him, with a wild look in his eyes. "Shush! You'll ruin everything! Stop it! Hush!"

I think I saw something click in three sets of eyes right then. But I had not an inkling as to what was clicking.

Lily gave a great squeal and grabbed James' arm, clinging so hard I though her fingers might go all the way through it. But James didn't notice at all. He was just gaping at Sirius, with one finger pointed at me. His jaw was slack, and his eyes were popping out of his head. Peter had feinted, I think. Even if he hadn't, his eyes were rolled back in his head and his tongue was lolling.

I felt like an idiot, just like earlier. Left out of the joke. So I lay back, on my back, and crossed my arms over my chest unhappily.

I don't know if any of you know what it's like to sit there, and listen to whole conversations go on without knowing what in the world is happening, or even what's being said. I'd experienced that feeling a lot, hanging around with the Marauders like I did. But I don't think I ever felt so out of the loop when absolutely nothing was being said except for Remus's continued giggles. And this odd sort of croaking noise from James.

Sirius and Remus were wrestling, Sirius shouting about him shutting his gob. When Lily said very loudly, "If we don't get on with it, I'm just going to open up all of mine, manners be damned." Her voice was absolutely jubilant.

I think she went a little insane. But then again everyone seemed to have gone a little insane. Sirius crawled back to his spot, grabbing his gift from James, and looking embarrassed and sour. He sat as close James as possible, and as far away from me as possible. Something in me ached a little. What had I suddenly done that had made him go from giving me painful rib-cracking hugs and telling me how much he'd missed me, to practically sitting on top of James just to not be near me?

James had gotten him a frilly pink skirt, with a note that said, 'Since you looked so good in your skirt on Halloween.' The real present was hidden under it, and was a silver frame, with a picture of all four of the boys, looking out from it, waving, and grinning wide.

He pulled on the skirt over his pants, and set the picture, standing up on the floor next to him. I don't think I was imagining the reverence and gentleness in his fingers when he had done it.

James opened his gift from Lily, a pair of home-knitted socks that were the exact same shade of green as her eyes and looked more like lumpy tubes, and a jumbo bag of Bertie Bott's Every Flavored Beans("Now with more flavors than ever!"). His kissed heron the cheek, and put the socks on.

"Well," said Lily, absolutely beaming, "He's always complaining about his feet getting cold."

We tried our best to hold our snickers in while Sirius kept nudging James in the side, and receiving half-hearted, red-cheeked glares in return.

Lil's opened up her gift from me, the skirt I'd known she wanted. "Oh, it's lovely! Thank you!" She said cheerily, folding it over her arm.

James glares were directed at me now. He poked me in the shoulder, "You and I should have communicated better on this subject. Now I'm going to look like a horrid boyfriend, just because you had to look like a good best friend!" He scolded.

"Oops." I grinned, shrugging apologetically. "How was I supposed to know?"

Lily patted James' head reassuringly, "It's fine! I'll just charm one of them to be a different color, and everything will be perfect!"

This new, cheery-disposition Lily was getting really annoying, really fast. I hoped the normal Lily came back soon.

Peter opened his gift from Sirius, a rubber chicken charmed to squawk random bits of knowledge when you squeezed it. He and Peter found it's croaky, high-pitched voice hilarious, and the facts(Ones like, 'In terms of absolute size and in proportion to overall body mass, the human penis is longer and thicker than that of any other primate.*') even funnier. The rest of use found them extremely annoying, and awkward to listen to, thus resulting in Remus snatching it out of their hands and sitting on it, after he'd asked them to stop four times without compliance.

From James, Remus has gotten a box of wand-care supplies,(Apparently, he was always complaining about his wand polish being very poor quality) that he absolutely went moon-eyed over. Sirius maintained that his gift was much more useful, and certainly more personal.

I still didn't get it.

I opened my gift from Remus nest. It was a rather lovely bound notebook, simply bursting with blank pages. He shrugged, "You're running out of space in that diary of yours. I thought you could use a backup."

I was completely ga-ga over it, clutching it to my chest, and thanking him at frequent intervals.

"S'not fair that Moony has this uncanny talent. Why can't I trade in my bad-ass quidditch skills for it?" Grumbled James bitterly, tossing crumbled up wrapping paper at Remus' head.

Lily patted his shoulder, "Because, James. If you could, you wouldn't want to anyway." She said sensibly.

He protested meekly while Sirius practically tore the next present apart trying to get to it, grinning like a... well, a child on Christmas. It was from Peter, and turned out to be a plush, bright pink bone, with squeaked loudly when you squeezed it.

Remus took this away from them too, seeing as they couldn't stop playing with it.

They gave each other the oddest gifts. But they all seemed to be perfectly happy with them.

Although, then again, I was very happy with Peter's gift, even if it was ridiculously silly. I think Christmas in general made people happy to receive things, no matter if they really wanted them or not, and to give them, and see people happy to have them.

Remus gave James a silver whistle, that was charmed so that only the four of them would hear it, no matter where they were. It thought it was awfully thought they were just pulling our legs, and really they couldn't hear a thing, but stopped when Sirius finally grabbed the from James, much to James' displeasure, and stuffed it back in the box, handing it to Remus to put in the pile of confiscated gifts.

From Sirius, Lily'd gotten a lovely leather bound copy of '_Why I Didn't Die When the Augurey Cried_', by Gulliver Pokeby. I'd read it before, so i was almost positive she had, but it was still a lovely book, and she was absolutely radiant about it.

Peter got a book, from Remus, called _'Predicting the Unpredictable: Insulate Yourself Against Shocks'_. He seemed confused by it, but he did scare rather easily. James hard a hard time hiding his snickering.

Remus was munching on the chocolate I had gotten him before anyone even knew he had opened it.

I made for a badly-wrapped package that looked like it was probably from Sirius, judging by his other wrapping jobs. He grabbed my wrist, face growing a tad red. "Not mine, yet. Best for last, right?" He laughed choppily.

My brow furrowed, and I let go of the sloppy gift. I shook his hand off my wrist, feeling sour towards him. He was acting very strange, and I didn't much like it. Lily buried her face in James' shoulder, as James looked at us dourly, seemingly unhappy with odd-acting Sirius as well. "Don't touch me please." I answered sharply, and scooping up Lily's gift, hardly really thinking about it as I opened it up.

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We each still had one gift left to unwrap when the bell for lunch rang. Well, from each other, at least. I'd opened up mine from Dad already, and they'd all opened up the ones from their parents. Well. Not quite. Sirius' parents hadn't sent him anything, but Mr. And Mrs. Potter had. Plus, he still had a large amount of fan-girl gifts awaiting him.

The two of us didn't speak much. Sirius and me, I mean. We kept sneaking glances at each other, but neither of us said anything to each other while we walked out of teh Common Room. Almost immediately after our exit, James grabbed Sirius by the arm, gritting his teeth harshly, and dragging him away from our little group.

I tried not to look too confused, because no one else seemed very surprised. Lily, in fact, still looked absolutely blooming with happiness. "Well, it's a lovely morning for Christmas, that's all." Was her response, when I asked her what she was being so cheery about.

**ChristmasAndCut-UpsChristmasAndCut-UpsChristmasAndCut-Ups****ChristmasAndCut-UpsChristmasAndCut-UpsChristmasAndCut-Ups****ChristmasAndCut-UpsChristmasAndCut-Ups**

*Thank you Doctor Oz!

**A/N:**

**Update! I rather like this chapter, although, it's sort of... Unfinished. But, it was very long, for me, and I promised that it'd be up on Friday, to some people. XD Sooooo, there ya' go! Hope you enjoyed it! If you did, tell me so! If you didn't... Still tell me! Thanks so much for the support!  
-Karissa M.**

**PS: For the record, A Cut-Up is a prankster, It was all I could think of.  
**


	19. Of Jackets and James

**Disclaimer: I don't own JKR's original characters, settings, ideas, and other such whimsical nonesense. Nor do I make any profit from writing this.**

**JacketsAndJames****JacketsAndJames****JacketsAndJames****JacketsAndJames****JacketsAndJames****JacketsAndJames****JacketsAndJames****JacketsAndJames****JacketsAndJames****JacketsAndJames**

I curled up in my bed, Tom taking up a good bit of my pillow.

I couldn't find it in myself to push him out of the way. Besides, my arms felt more like jelly than actual arms. And my all around being felt compromised.

Lunch had been fine. Fun, goofing off together at the one long table, and sharing crackers, scooping up our prizes in teetering piles. Sirius' odd behavior persisted, but not so noticeably, since there was more to keep us all distracted from it. At one point, he was almost normal, breaking a crack with me, and releasing a flock of brightly colored finches.

I watched in wonder as his hand snapped out, and with hardly any effort, snatched one out of the air. trapping it in his fingers.

"You should seek, Sirius- you'd be wonderful at it." I said, transfixed.

He laughed half-heartedly, and pressed the finch into my hand, gently, and curled my fingers around it. "Nah. I think hitting things with a bat is more exciting. And I really am dreadful on a broom. I only just scrape by as a beater. Couldn't handle the high-speeds."

The bird was perched atop my headboard, fluffing out it's feathers, and running it's beak through it's wings. Tom was shockingly uninterested in it. I guess he lacked basic cat-instincts. The lovely little bird lacked basic bird-instincts as well, apparently, because it regarded Tom with as little, if not less, concern as he did it.

I hadn't decided if I wanted to keep it or not. It seemed dreadfully cruel to keep something as free as a bird trapped in my dormitory.

After lunch, however, everything had plunged into a big pile of oddities.

We'd walked back to the Common Room in semi-normalcy. Lily was cradling Tom affectionately, and peering into my hands, cupped loosely around the little finch.

The boys pretended to think that our soothing croons of comfort to the bird were silly, and that the bid itself was an object of boredom, but there was something admiring in their eyes. Birds did that to people. Nothing was so light hearted and free as a bird, to be able to fly without inhibitions, or broomsticks. Even boys knew that.

Boys could appreciate it, even if they wouldn't admit it.

As soon as we started gifts again, Sirius was back to the odd-jumpy-not-quite-Sirius that he had been before. I didn't like it.

When he opened mine, I felt really, very foolish. Don't ask me why, It wasn't a bad gift, or a personal one. Well, I suppose not personal to anyone but me. A dark blue scarf. Like I said, not very noticeable to anyone but me. For one, it was my favorite color, but I'd also thought it would look good on him. His initials I'd managed to embroider there by hand onto one end, sort of sloppy, a messy 'S.B.'. I swear, I only pricked my finger on the needle four times. Honest. (Maybe five, _maybe_.) Anyway, the reason it was personal to me?

My dad gave my mom a scarf with her initials embroidered on it for their first Christmas together. I felt sheepish, because it was taking my crush on him to an entirely newly pathetic level.

But no one else knew the story, not even James, so it seemed harmless.

And Sirius appeared to like it a lot, although still the odd, jittery, not-quite-Sirius. He grinned wide, and wrapped it around his neck, and head, so it covered his mouth and nose.

He'd hugged Lily in thanks for her gift. No hug for me.

I tried not to be too jealous. But it was hard. Sitting there, beet red, hands clasped in my lap, and eyes on my fluffy-socked feet, I felt as if I didn't fit in. Everyone else looked happy, comfortable, and friendly. But I didn't feel like part of the group. It was silly, and childish of me. But true. I felt left out, and under-appreciated. Less important.

I didn't pay attention much after that. Until my turn came.

My last one was the one from Sirius. I would be lying to say that my eyes hadn't wandered to the lumpy gift several times throughout the day, and to say that I wasn't scared about opening it. It was an irrational fear, but the sight of it made a lump rise in my throat, and something clench in me. I was just building it up. He'd probably gotten me something like a sweater. It sort of felt like badly wrapped clothing. A sweater that he hadn't bothered to put in a box.

That was probably it.

I reached over, and picked it up off the rug. Was it just me, or had the group gone absurdly quiet? Surely it was just me. I peeked up through my bangs.

Nope. No one was talking. Curious looks. I guess that was the disadvantage of having the last gift. All attention falls to you. "Uhm." I said, raising my eyebrows at them, "Can you lot not look at me like this gift's about to explode in my hands? You're making me nervous." Really nervous.

I wouldn't put it past Sirius to make something explode in my face. It actually seemed to be a favorite pass time of his. They instantly diverted their eyes, knowing smirks growing on their faces. Except for Sirius, who still had my scarf wrapped halfway around his face. I couldn't tell exactly what expression he was wearing- it was infinitely difficult to place, but he was looking anywhere but at me.

I gave a loud huff of annoyance, and started to carefully peel the paper away, before stopping again. "Okay, Sirius. If this thing does explode in my hands, I _will_ murder you." I looked at him again, and out eyes met. His crinkled a little at the corners, like he was smiling under the scarf, and shrugged. I took that as a '_stop being so paranoid Riss_' and continued to peel away the paper.

Worn out black leather met my fingertips.

My eyes widened a considerable fraction, and I looked up at Sirius again. His eyes, if possible, had crinkled up even more, and he shrugged again. Done with being careful and polite, I tore the paper away fiercely. Unfolding the jacket he had been wearing in Hogsmeade.

I gaped, running my fingers over the leather reverently. I tried to say thank you, I really did, but my voice caught in my throat, and all I could do was croak pathetically. It wasn't my fault. This was- _awesome_.

James was gasping for air, for some reason, rather resembling a goldfish out of water.

Sirius pulled down his scarf, grin wicked and wide. "Don't think I didn't see you eying it in Hogsmeade on gift-shopping-day. You looked like you wanted to knife me in the back, and steal it for yourself. I figured just giving it up was better than you going to Azkaban for attempted murder." He waggled his eyebrows in a way I would never be able to replicate, "But wait! There's more. You're new old-jacket comes with the privileged of being the first to ride on the back of the flying motorbike I'm getting after graduation."

The ability to speak was still beyond me, so I simply forced my arms through the sleeves, and pulled it on. It was, if possible, even better than imagined. It was also ridiculously large, but in my opinion, that was the best part. Finally I managed to croak out; "Never taking it off. Ever."

Sirius looked absolutely radiant. I couldn't help but grin back.

"I THINK," James said, in a voice that was all-together too loud and stiff, "That we should- UHM- we should go to our respective dormitories for the rest of the Holiday. And no one's allowed to go out."

Sirius' grin melted away, and he pulled the scarf I'd given him back up around his mouth and nose, eyes darting away from me. Back to the odd Sirius that had been plaguing our Christmas.

Or mine, at least. No one else seemed to bothered by it. Except now James was acting odd as well. His eyes were bulging out of his head a bit, and his lips were pressed tightly together. He looked like he was a raving mad-man, trying desperately not to rave on about something or another.

I hugged Sirius'/my jacket tighter around me, and shrugged. "I think that would kind of defeat the purpose of you all coming to Hogwarts for Christmas, wouldn't it? We wouldn't be together." I said skeptically, lips twitching to one side.

He still looked slightly unhinged, and his fingers twitched in an odd way toward Sirius' neck, as if, for some reason, he wanted to strangle him. "Exactly. And you'll still have Lily, so the purpose isn't completely defeated. Ready? GO." He grabbed Sirius by the ear, and dragged him up the stairs, while Sirius' howled in pain, and Peter and Remus obediently followed.

I just sat there, my eyes drifting to Lily's. She, like James, looked slightly unhinged. However, she wore an all-together too-large grin, that made me feel very uncomfortable, and her eyes weren't bulging out like a goldfish's. "You okay?" I asked nervously, eying her with a bit of fear. What was with everyone today? They were all acting wonky. I didn't like it. Not one bit.

"I," Lily replied, lips still stretched in an unnervingly large smile, "Am just peachy keen. Radiant. Absolutely bounding with joy and happiness. And all things good in life."

I stood up, giving her another funny look. "Lovely, Lils. Now when you regain your sanity, I guess I'll be up in the dormitory." I scooped up my new belongings, and climbed the spiral staircase, feeling rather confused, and as if everything was going a bit upside-down in my life.

The new journal from Remus was absolutely lovely. It fit neatly in my lap, as if meant to go there. I was thoroughly convinced that it had indeed been made specifically for me. Of course, I knew better, but it was a nice little delusion. Harmless and self-indulgent.

And even worse delusion, one that was a fair bit more self-destructive, and a lot less harmless, was the one I got from wearing Sirius' jacket. I held it tightly around me, and closed my eyes, and imagined that it was him keeping me warm, and not merely his coat. It smelt like him.

**JacketsAndJames****JacketsAndJames****JacketsAndJames****JacketsAndJames****JacketsAndJames****JacketsAndJames****JacketsAndJames****JacketsAndJames****JacketsAndJames****JacketsAndJames**

******A/N:  
Been a while,I knowww. But I am trying to sort of keep up. Sorta. Ummm.. Not completely happy with this chapter. I dunno. Not fantastic, but not dreadful either, I suppose. Very mediocre.  
Why's James acting so strange? Is Lily's disturbingly good mood permanent? Will Rissa ever stop being oblivious to EVERYTHING?  
Add this story to your alerts to tune in next time, and find out!  
Reviewing wouldn't hurt anything either.**


	20. Misconceptions and 'Maybe's

**Disclaimer: I don't own JKR's original characters, settings, ideas, and other such whimsical nonesense. Nor do I make any profit from writing this.**

**MisconceptionsAnd'Maybe'sMiscpmceptionsAnd'Maybe's****MisconceptionsAnd'Maybe'sMiscpmceptionsAnd'Maybe's****MisconceptionsAnd'Maybe'sMiscpmceptionsAnd'Maybe's**

They'd decided to stay for the rest of break(Because really, it would have been silly of them not to), so we all went down to breakfast together the next morning.

James was still acting odd, and insisted on arranging the seats. Sirius on the end, Remus after him, then Peter, then James himself, then Lily, and then me. Normally I sat with Sirius and Remus, so I don't quite get why he positioned them as far away from me as was possible- but I hardly understood anything James did, so I just shrugged and didn't argue. It didn't seem like such a big deal. They'd all been acting odd anyway, and I didn't think that Sirius would be particularly good conversation, by the look of him. He looked really tired, and his hair was about ten time messier than usual, and there were bags under his eyes. Looked like he'd had the worst night's sleep of his life.

I would have at least liked to talk to Remus, though. He was always good conversation, even when tired or sick. Which, thinking of it, was pretty much all of the time.

Lily, upon closer inspection, still looked absolutely barmy. Even though she no longer wore the disturbingly large grin from the night before, she did wear a smug 'I-know-something-wonderful' smirk, which grew a little bit wider every time she glanced at me.

I'd always known that my friends were a bit on the mad side, but this was taking it a bit out of hand. I twitched a little bit in my chair, and didn't eat much of my breakfast. Just a little bit of toast and a mug of hot chocolate. I snuck pieces of bacon down under the table to Tom for most of the hour we spent in the near-empty Great Hall. Remus and Peter were really the only ones who actually talked. James divided his time between glaring at the food in front of him, and glaring at Sirius(were they fighting over something?), while Lily merely hummed like she was off of her rocker, and cheerfully munched on various fruits.

Sirius merely sat, looking uncharacteristically numb to the world, and ate mostly scrambled eggs. And I, of course, was too busy trying to watch everyone to actually attempt to strike up a conversation with new 'off-her-rocker', Lily Evans.

Maybe they'd all taken ill. That would make sense. Was there a disease that made everyone act bonkers? There probably was. I'd have to report it to Madame Pomfrey-

"So, today," Said James, casually, dropping his fork down to clatter against his plate, "I was thinking that Lily, Wormy, and Rissa could go and work on those essays from Slughorn in the Common Room, while Pads, Moony, and I-"

"Prongs, you're overreacting-"

We never heard exactly what James was overreacting about, in Remus' opinion, because James cut him out, shouting even louder; "WHILE PADS, MOONY, AND I go to the library to work on Flitwick's charms stuff."

I slumped in my chair, eyes narrowing, and arms crossing over my chest.

Lily piped up; "No, no. I think Rissa and Sirius should work on Slughorn's essay together- she needs help on it, and Sirius is an ace in potions-" This was not entirely true, considering that the whole blue bubble fiasco was entirely due to Sirius' non-ace-ness in Potions, but I decided not to point that out. "- Plus, I need you to help me with the Transfiguration work. And Peter could use Rem's help in Charms."

"That's nonsense- Rissa's ten times better at Transfiguration than I am- she can help you with that. And your better at Potions than Sirius, so that works out perfectly well. I could use his input on my Astronomy paper." James countered, narrowing his eyes at her in a 'don't mess with me, woman' sort of way.

We all winced a little, knowing what would happen next.

She stood up, red hair swinging, and grabbed James by the ear. "Let's work this out outside, shall we, _dear_?" She dragged him out, as he howled and yelped in protest to the abuse of his ear, and waved his arms around wildly.

We watched the oak doors slam closed in dead silence. Even the teachers up at the staff table, who had, no doubt, watched the entire thing transpire, hadn't the nerve to laugh. Although, judging by the borderline-purple color of McGonagall's face, it wasn't by lack of amusement.

Remus heaved a great sigh, as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders, "Lily's plan it is, then."

"Everyone is acting so strange," I muttered dejectedly, scooping Tom, and several more strips of bacon, up, and beginning the trek back up to the Common Room.

**MisconceptionsAnd'Maybe'sMiscpmceptionsAnd'Maybe's****MisconceptionsAnd'Maybe'sMiscpmceptionsAnd'Maybe's****MisconceptionsAnd'Maybe'sMiscpmceptionsAnd'Maybe's**

Sirius and I were sitting on the Window seat in the Common Room, facing each other, both of out backs against the wall on either side, our feet meeting in the middle of the seat.

"What are the ingredients of a Wit-Sharpening Potion?"

I thought for several moments, scratching behind Tom's ears. "Ginger root, Armadillo bile, and… ground beetle?" I answered.

Sirius raised and eyebrow at me, and nudged my foot with his, prompting. "What _kind_ of beetle?" He asked, eyebrow quirking still further, "You need to be specific." He nudged my foot again, grinning expectantly.

I narrowed by eyes at him, but it was only halfhearted, and not really angry at all. "I dunno- Stag beetle?" I answered, shrugging my shoulders to show my defeat.

He made a buzzer sound, like a muggle game show, and snapped the book shut, "Oooh, so close. But wrong! The answer you were looking for it Scarab Beetle, native to Egypt, where it was revered as a sacred bug." He shoved the book back into my hands, and reverted back to a normal voice, "Study some more, and then we'll try again." He looked all too happy about my inability to answer questions correctly.

I pulled the book into my lap, and glared at him from under my bangs. "This is just so easy for you. You'll pass no problem. I'm going to fail everything." I muttered unhappily at him.

His grin only widened, and he nudged my foot again, "Don't be ridiculous. You won't fail _everything_. Even if you do shite on the written bit of Transfiguration, you'll still get an Outstanding. You're the youngest registered animagus in recorded history. They'd be barmy not to pass you."

I shrugged, and flipped open the book, leafing through the pages without really paying attention.

"That's not studying. That's just flipping the pages." He told me, in a sing-song, rather smug voice.

He was enjoying being my Lily-assigned tutor much too much for my liking. I glared at him sourly. "I am too studying. It's called skimming."

Sirius leaned forward, reached out a hand, and flicked my nose. I yelped in pain and shock. "Really? I thought it was called being lazy. Now _seriously_ read it." He warned me.

I wrinkled my nose at him, feigning distaste. "Oh, ha-ha, _seriously_. _Very_ funny, Sirius." I replied sarcastically, sticking out my tongue at him. But I slowed down none-the-less, and started paying closer attention to what my eyes were seeing. After a couple of minutes, I decided to broach the subject. "Sirius…?"

I glanced up at him, peering through my bangs. He had been looking out the window, down at the lake, but his eyes met mine. "Hm?"

"Are you and James… fighting?" I asked cautiously, bending the corner of the page of my Potions book back and forth slightly nervous. He and James didn't often fight. They were closer than brothers. They did everything together. They'd fought before, of course, but not often, and never serious. They'd been acting so strange. I was getting worried.

Sirius' face hardened a little, and his eyes darted away from my face. He shifted uncomfortably, moving his feet so they weren't tangled with mine anymore. "Not really. We had a disagreement. No big deal. It'll blow over."

I was instantly reminded of how James' fingers had twitched the day before, and he'd given Sirius a look like he wanted to strangle him. "You guys seemed fine yesterday morning…" I ventured tentatively. I was walking on thin ice, and knew it. I didn't want him to get mad, and Sirius had always had a rather short temper. And he hated facing problem head on. If I made him too uncomfortable, he'd get up and leave me to study for Potions alone.

He sighed heavily, and ran his fingers through his hair, flopping it out in front of his eyes. "Yeah. Well... He's kind of pissed about me giving you my jacket. And the motorbike ride." He explained, still not looking at me. His fingers picked at a loose thread in the seat cover.

That was weird. Why would they fight over that? It was just a jacket- the motorbike ride… That had to be it. James was angry that he wouldn't get first ride on the motorbike. "I don't really- he can have first ride, honestly, I don't care." I told Sirius, earnestly. "It's not worth fighting about." It really wasn't. First rides on motorbikes weren't worth a fight between two best friends. It was really very juvenile, even for James.

The corners of his lips twitched up a bit, into a tiny smile, but he still didn't look at me, and continued to pick at the thread. "Thanks Riss. But it wasn't really- it was more of the whole me actually giving you the jacket, and offering the first ride. 'The principle behind the thing', is what he said."

I didn't get it. Why would I? What principle? This didn't make any sense. "Is he jealous or something? It's sort of ridiculous; everyone knows that James is your best friend, even if I get first ride, and your lovely jacket." I reached over and patted his knee.

He groaned and sifted his fingers through his hair some more, corners of his mouth turning down once again."Merlin, you're thick sometimes." He told me, in an exasperated voice.

"I am not. I just don't quite understand what the big deal is. I men, he should know by now that he'll always be your best mate, and-"

"Rissa. James isn't jealous. He's mad because I like you. Yes- _that_ kind of like you." Sirius said, finally looking up at me. I was frozen. Pinned down by his gray eyes.

I think it's safe to say that, in most situations that freak me out, I blush. Profusely. I literally go as red as a tomato. In this case, all blood drained from my face, and I went as pale as Moaning Murtle. "Oh." I said, stood up, letting my potions book fall with a thump to the ground, and ran up to my room.

**MisconceptionsAnd'Maybe'sMiscpmceptionsAnd'Maybe's****MisconceptionsAnd'Maybe'sMiscpmceptionsAnd'Maybe's****MisconceptionsAnd'Maybe'sMiscpmceptionsAnd'Maybe's**

Was this a good thing, or a bad thing? I wasn't rightfully sure. Half of me wanted to whoop and jump with joy and triumph, another wanted to curl up under the blankets, and never come out again. Not in a bad way, exactly. I was still sincerely infatuated with him, of course. I was sure that I always would be.

But didn't that make this all the worse? I liked him tenfold what he could every like me. True- he hadn't dated/snogged a random girl in several months(To the best of my knowledge), but that didn't mean that he could keep his affections directed towards one person for any longer than he could before. The inevitable result to any sort of more-than-friends relationship we formed would be me getting my heart broken. And would we be able to stay friends after it ended? I was used to living with this desperate pining. I had become adept at dealing with the emotional pain. But Sirius might not be able to separate those feelings.

His liking of me could be formed of nothing more than friendly affection, that he was mistaking for something more. He wasn't, after all, used to having a girl as such a close friend. He liked being around me, he liked talking to be, and misinterpreted that for liking me. It's easy to get confused like that, I'd seen it happen before.

He must have know that too.

I thought that, perhaps we'd been spending too much time together. That I should stop, and try to space us out a bit. As much as I loved him, I couldn't let us go down the drain like that. Our friendship. If we dated, it would ruin everything, and I couldn't let that happen.

But maybe it would be worth it. Maybe there was a tiny chance that it was genuine. That it would last. Would it be worth risking whatever semblance of happiness I had found in the last four months, just being his friend, to try and gain the complete euphoria that would come with being more than his friend?

Was it really horrible that my answer was maybe?

Maybe his affections were serious.  
Maybe I wasn't just a phase.  
Maybe this could work out- me and him.

It didn't seem so mad to me- after all, if he felt strongly enough to get in a fight with James about it, and not back down, then maybe he'd put a lot of thought into it.

Maybe I should ask Lily for help- but no- she'd just squeal like a girl, and hop about and be no help at all, because she didn't understand what was at stake. And James… no. I would _not_ ask James Potter for advice on my live-life. He was the worst possible choice. End of story. That left Remus and Peter. And, let's be honest, it was sort of an easy choice. Rem was the go-to guy when you needed advice.

**MisconceptionsAnd'Maybe'sMiscpmceptionsAnd'Maybe's****MisconceptionsAnd'Maybe'sMiscpmceptionsAnd'Maybe's****MisconceptionsAnd'Maybe'sMiscpmceptionsAnd'Maybe's**

**A/N:**

**Mkay, a week wait ain't bad, right? And I rather like this chapter too.... Sooooo, Rissa's up to speed with everyone else now, eh? Sirius dropped the big bomb. Ohhhh, I know. What's she gonna do? TUNE IN NEXT TIME ON OPERATION:BLACK.  
Just a little teaser of what's to come, thenext chapter name is;  
****Kisses And Clacking.**

**REVIEW YOU PEOPLE.  
Love; Karissa M.**


	21. Of Hassles and Hair

**HEADS-UP! PLEASE DON'T SKIP THE AUTHOR'S NOTE! I KNOW IT'S LONG, BUT IT'S GOT IMPORTANT INFO!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own JKR's original characters, settings, ideas, and other such whimsical nonesense. Nor do I make any profit from writing this.**

**Hassles and Hair Hassles and Hair Hassles and Hair Hassles and Hair Hassles and Hair Hassles and Hair Hassles and Hair Hassles and Hair Hassles and Hair Hassles and Hair**

I meant to go and see Remus first thing in the morning, but James Potter had other plans for my much-too-complicated life.

I was shaken awake at close to three in the morning, by a very unhappy looking Lily. I tried to swat her away, and pulled my blanket over my head. She yanked it off, still looking grumpy. She was, it appeared, back to normal, lip pouting unhappily, green eyes narrowed. "Riss! James told me to send you down to the Common Room."

I curled up into a ball, and hugged a squirming Tom to my chest. "What the hell were you doing with James at Three am? Go to bed." I groaned, and tried to grab the blanket back from her with the arm not holding Tom. It was cold. Really, really cold.

"He said you'd say that," she snapped unhappily, taking my blankets with her as she went to flop on her own bed. "And told me to tell you that he'd come up here himself, kidnap Tom, and feed him to the Giant Squid if you didn't." She growled.

I rolled out of bed, hitting the floor with a dull thump, and groped around on my nightstand for my wand. My fingers found the worn out handle, and I grabbed it, stumbling to my feet and out of the dormitory, half-asleep.

I do believe my intent was to curse him senseless and then return to bed.

This brilliant plan, however, was thwarted when I tripped over myself and tumbled down the stairs, head over heels. Surprisingly I didn't yell, or shout. I just groaned dully as I hit the ground at the foot of the stairs, my wand rolling across the Common Room floor. "Jammesssss." I growled.

He looked sour- eyes narrowed. "You're a wily temptress, Rissa- had us all fooled with your innocent act- but you've been seducing all along, haven't you?" He asked me, voice suspicious.

"Whuh?" I mumbled stupidly, groping around for my wand on the ground.

"Sirius!" Said James, throwing his hands in the air and looking frustrated.

"No- m'Rissa." I muttered back, giving up the search for my wand and sitting there on the ground, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. "What's this 'bout Sirius?"

James did not look pleased. He stomped his right foot, rather like a child. "No- You've been trying to get Sirius in the sack!"

That certainly woke me up. "WHAT? No, I haven't!" Because the idea of that was simply ludicrous- Sure, I liked Sirius a lot- but even if I had got him in the sack, I wouldn't know what to do with him once he was there. James was going completely insane. I decided that I should probably mention it to Lily- she deserved to know that her boyfriend was a nutter.

He held my eyes in a still-suspicious glare. "Wily temptress."

"Nutter!" I protested, eager to prove my innocence. "I never meant for Sirius to like me! I- It's just a silly little crush anyway- he's just blurring the lines between liking me and liking to hang about with me. It's _nothing_, James! Honestly- I mean, I'm not trying to seduce him or anything- He's your best mate."

James didn't look completely convinced, but his face did soften a tad; "Well- what about him? Has he been trying to seduce you? Hasn't tried to kiss you or anything yet, has he?"

Sirius hardly had to try to seduce anyone. People fell in love with him within moments of meeting him- it was hardly something he had to work at. All he had to do was smile, and talk a bit- maybe crack a joke, and a person was sucked in so far they had no hope of ever breaking away. I'd fallen in love with Sirius ages and ages ago- but James really didn't need to know that. And thank God Sirius hadn't tried to kiss me- I was conflicted and confused enough- if he'd done that, I'd be even more lost than I already was. Why were boys so damned confusing? "No, James. Don't be ridiculous." I tried to sound like the idea was amusing to me- he didn't seem to fall for it.

He sat down next to me, and put a hand on my shoulder. "Well- I guess if there's no wily tempting or seducing going on… It's not such a bad notion." He sounded thoughtful.

I buried my face in my hands; "Just told you, James- It's not like that- He's just confused- he's not used to have friends that are girls."

"Yeah. Sure. He wouldn't give his jacket to just _anyone_. Loves that thing like you love your bloody cat." James gave a snort, and squeezed my shoulder, "I guess you should think about it- but… well, Just thought I'd let you know that I'd be… sort of okay with it. Long as you don't snog in front of me. And you don't y'know. Fornicate."

I nearly choked on air. Fornicate? Bloody hell. "Never say that again _please_." James Potter was not to first person on my list to converse with about fornicating with Sirius Black- well- I don't have a list for that, actually- I'd rather not talk with anyone about it. Fornication certainly wasn't on my to-do list. Even with Sirius Black. "I'm going to bed now. Good night." I stood and ran my fingers through my hair, fluffing it out a bit.

I didn't feel just physically tired. I felt emotionally exhausted too, like my very soul was tired and groggy. I'd never felt quite like it before. I'm sure a shower would have made me feel miles better- but I was scared I would have fallen asleep and drowned myself.

No one can argue that it would have been an out-of-character way to die. I did stupid things like that all of the time.

So instead I just turned and left James there in the Common Room, staring thoughtfully into the empty fire place, and snuggled myself back into bed.

**Hassles and Hair Hassles and Hair Hassles and Hair Hassles and Hair Hassles and Hair Hassles and Hair Hassles and Hair Hassles and Hair Hassles and Hair Hassles and Hair**

When I woke up, sun was streaming in through the window, and I was alone. It was snowing outside, yet again. But I didn't really plan on going out on the grounds, so it didn't really matter. I didn't want to even leave the dormitory. I just wanted to be somewhere where there was no chance of anyone bothering me, no Sirius to worry about, no James to pacify. But, as Sirius had proved before, it wasn't entirely impossible for boys to get into the Girl's dormitories- if they're determined enough.

There was no such thing as safe.

So, I figured a shower would be half as good- and was fairly sure that neither Sirius nor James would bother me there. That would be about as safe as it got.

I bundled up a change of clothes, a pair of jeans and a long sleeved 'Hobgoblins' shirt, and departed the dorm still in my pajamas. It seemed silly to change out of them. After all, I didn't particularly care if anyone who was currently at the castle saw me in them- they'd all seen them before. And they were comfy and warm.

Remus, Lily, and James were in the Common Room when I went down, sitting around the fire and studying History of Magic or something. They didn't even notice me as I crept by, and slipped out of the portrait hole. That was a bit of a relief; I didn't want to talk to anyone at the moment. Some distant part of my mind wondered where Sirius and Peter were, but really, what sort of trouble could they get into or cause when the castle was so empty? As long as Sirius wasn't anywhere near me, I didn't care where he was.

Well- that might be a little bit of an exaggeration, but what I'd meant was that… I wanted to avoid any sort of awkward confrontation. I was such a spineless wimp- I was scared to even look at him- if I did, I might melt into a puddle of goo, and would have no protests to whatever he might say or suggest. And he meant too much to me to risk that. Not without Remus' input, at least. His view of the situation. He was smarter than me- he'd know what I should do.

The shower was heavenly- warm and refreshing. It was about then, after I'd gotten out and pulled my clothes on, that I started thinking about my hair. It was long- I'd kept it long for as long as I could remember. But it really was a hassle. It was sort of wiry and very thick- hard to drag the brush through. It might be best to cut it all off- it hadn't been the first time I'd considered it.

But my mother had always had long hair- just like mine. Until- well. The accident. It was sort of a sentimental attachment- some sort of link to who she'd been before. I was scared of cutting it off- scared my dad would freak out, scared that it would look horrible. But now… well, maybe I was ready for that leap. I'd grown a lot over the course of the year- and it was only half was through. If I'd changed this much in just half- how much would I have changed by the end? The end of my school days was fast approaching- and I still didn't know what I wanted to do with myself.

At this rate I'd end up as… I dunno- a bum on the street- I'd have to steal scraps. Or, even worse, I'd get stuck living at home forever. Dad was already pushing for me to live at home for the first year. I loved him and everything- but I was eager to get out on my own. I wanted to live for myself- Lily, Rose, and I had talked about sharing a flat, just us three since Alice was moving in with Frank. We had enough money saved up to start out cumulatively. Nothing fancy, of course, but anything would be fine if it was a place of our own.

The thought made me both giddy and nervous.

I looked in the bathroom mirror one last time, at my hair, hanging all limp and combed. It seemed so… boring- and young. I was definitely going to cut it- maybe Lily would help.

I'd come into this year scared of change- and now I felt like I couldn't get enough of it. I felt like a different girl- a more confident, strong girl. I wanted to show that change on the outside too- the hair had to go.

**Hassles and Hair Hassles and Hair Hassles and Hair Hassles and Hair Hassles and Hair Hassles and Hair Hassles and Hair Hassles and Hair Hassles and Hair Hassles and Hair**

**A/N:**

**Sorry about the change of title- I got you all excited for nothing. But it just... didn't happen that way.**

**Hey guys! Long time no see? Not too long I hope! Sorry- I know it's a useless sentiment. But I have a way to prompt me to update more, and you, my little muffins, to review more!**

**The 150th reviewer will be able to request a one-shot from me- it can be anything Harry Potter centered- Rissa and Sirius, something centered around the Marauders, something in Present era, or Next Generation- whatever your little heart desires. HOWEVER: don't be greedy/stingy with reviews- don't hold back because you want to be the 150th, because if you all do that no one will be the 150th- and don't worry- from now on I'll be doing it ever 25 reviews, so after this it'll be 175th, 200th, ect. Sound fun? I hope so! Whether or not I upload onto is completely up to you- you can choose to just keep it to yourself, if you want, and I'll email it to you for your personal enjoyment, BUT PLEASE; don't ask me not to upload it, have me email it to you, and then upload it yourself- that's just a betrayal of my trust. I'm eager to see how this will turn out- and what people will request!**

**If it works out well, I might even bump it down to every 15 reviews. So please!**

**Also I've been working on another project a supersecret non-marauders-but-still-Harry-Potter one. I'm scared of the response- but I'd like to know how people would feel about it; Female!Draco Malfoy. Don't hate me. I promise she's not cheesey/mary-sue-ish. It's still the same pratty, ass-ish, idiot Draco. Just… a girl. So, if you're interested, and would like to read the first bit(Scene from Sorcerer's Stone, when Harry and Draco first meet in Madame Malkin's.), please PM me, and I'll get it to you for input! I'm not going to lie- I love it- and I love Draco as a girl. I just need to know if it's something you guys are interested in. You're opinions mean a boatload to me!**

**Please give me feedback- on everything!**

**Karissa M.**


	22. While You Weren't Looking

**Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter Sirius would still be alive and a good number of the characters would be gay for each other. So... yeah. I don't own it. Obviously. I make no claim to any of the lovely J.K. Rowling's places, plots, characters or ideas. Nor do I make any profit.**

**While You Weren't Looking & While You Weren't Looking & While Your Weren't Looking & While You Weren't Looking & While You Weren't Looking & While You Weren't Looking**

After the shower I returned to my Dormitory, thoughtful and reflecting. It was only a couple of hours until dinner when I was joined.

"Rissa- I found your wand under one of the arm chairs- what are you doing leaving it lying around like that?" Lily scolded, dropping the elm wand on my bedspread with a disapproving expression. "And James said that Sirius announced that he was going to throw himself off of the Astronomy Tower. Just thought you might not want to know."

I had sort of forgotten about it. Hadn't even noticed I picked up my wand and placed it onto my night stand; "James, Remus, and Peter wouldn't let him. Besides, he loves himself to much to do it." I told her, thinking that she should have assumed as much.

She looked severely angry; "What's wrong with you? He's really upset, Riss! Talk too him, even if you don't like him back- which you _do_- you can't just stop talking to him!" Her hands were on her hips, which were tilted slightly- her angry stance.

My face scrunched up a little and I fluffed out my hair again; "Will you help me cut my hair?"

"Will you talk to Sirius about how you feel?"

"I was going to anyway, Lils. I just don't want to look like an idiot while I do it."

Lily looked suspicious, green eyes narrowed at me, eyebrows raised.. "Where are the scissors and how short are we talking?"

I grinned, and waved my hand flippantly; "It all must go!" And then gestured to the pair of scissors on top of the dresser. "Right there." On second thought- she might have taken my little joke literally. "I don't really want it all gone- just cut it to my shoulders. That should be fine." I had not idea how it would look that short- curly, probably. It was just hair though, and I wasn't horribly concerned with how it would look. After all, it would grow back.

Her eyebrows shot up even further, lips tightening; "That much? I feel that I should consult your father, James, and Sirius before I do the snip-snip."

I glared at her; "It's my hair." I argued, feeling a bit defensive. Why should James have any input on how I wore my hair?

"Fine, fine." She gestured toward a chair she had conjured, "But if they flip one, I had nothing to do with it." She warned, and stretched out a chuck of orange hair, I heard a snip and then a sigh from Lily. "Are you sure you want it this short?" She asked, sounding apprehensive.

I nodded resolutely, "Yes. I need a change- and it's a hassle. And I want to know what it would look like." I reached up, and my fingers closed around the newly-cut chuck of hair, touching it experimentally. "If I don't like it, it's just hair. It'll grow back." I wasn't sure if it was her I was reassuring or myself. Either way- it was the truth. Just hair.

Another sigh. "Okay, if you're sure." Another snip, and another. I tried to hold as still as possible, so that she wouldn't make any horrible mistakes. I trusted her not to ruin it- but there was no harm in helping her. Another snip. My head felt uneven- one side heavier than the other. "Half way done." She laughed, sort of nervously. "Hold still." Snipe, Snip, Snip. Some of the hair caught on my shoulders, itching and tickling my neck and cheek. Snip, Snip. "Done."

I shook my head, brushing the hair from my shoulders. A grin broke across my face when I felt the ends of my newly-cut hair brush against my cheeks. "I feel as if a weight has been lifted from my shoulders." I confessed, and ran my fingers through it. It felt strange, and alien between my fingers, lighter than before. I smoothed it down, and then fluffed it out, unsure. "Thanks, Lily."

"Look in the mirror before you thank me." She warned, and vanished all the hair that had been snipped away from the floor and my clothing. "But, for what it's worth, I think you look cute." She added, tilting her head and smiling.

A couple of strides and I was standing in front of our mirror, eyes wide. It was shorter than I anticipated- apparently, when short, mire hair was actually curly, rather than wavy, orange curls that rested just above my shoulders, tickling my neck. I liked it- maybe even more than I liked my hair long. I pulled one of thee foreign curls curiously, stretching it out and then letting go. It sprung back into shape. "I like it. A lot." I told her, and repeated; "Thank you." I couldn't stop staring at myself, tilting my head, lips twitching into a smile. I looked different. And then got a little bit nervous. "... Do you really think Sirius- and James and my dad- will hate it?" I asked, biting my lip.

She shrugged, "Guys have a thing for long hair- it's a fact of life. If a girl they care about cuts all her hair off they throw a hissy fit. Remember in fifth year when Alice cut hers? Frank flipped one."

I frowned. "Maybe I won't have to talk to Sirius after all then..."

"Don't be stupid- he's not going to stop liking you because you cut your hair." She paused, and laid a hand lightly on my shoulder; "Are you going to talk to him?"

I shrugged, and turned away from the mirror, "I told you that I would."

She nodded, and smiled; "Just making sure. Shall we make the grand reveal at dinner? It's about that time, isn't it? Let's go down- you can talk to Sirius after- or even during. But…"

"After." I said quickly, "It's not a public conversation. I don't want James butting in." He butted in enough. He always did- constantly. James was a butt-inner. He liked ruining moments and making everything awkward- and was a bit over-protective sometimes. Of both Sirius and myself. I shook my head again, shivering at the thought.

She laughed, and nodded her agreement before we headed down to The Great Hall.

**While You Weren't Looking & While You Weren't Looking & While Your Weren't Looking & While You Weren't Looking & While You Weren't Looking & While You Weren't Looking**

"You're hair is gone!" Shouted James, eyes wide behind his glasses.

Lily laughed, and I shrugged, "Not all of it. Just some."

"I think it looks good, Rissa." Complimented Remus, tilting his head obligingly in my direction and raising his glass. "Compliments your face shape."

"I thought so too- she looks darling. Who knew her hair was so curly?" Piped Lily, smiling and sitting next to James.

I thought I heard the sound of a foot being stomped on. "AH-er-" Said James, before clearing his throat, "_Yes_- it looks really great, Rissa."

Peter paid his own compliments, and Sirius muttered something, but the only words I caught were 'short…… good.'

Dinner was… awkward. Sirius and I say directly across from each other, and kept sneaking glances. But every once in a while our eyes would meet and we'd hurriedly look away. My face was red, and my fingers shook. And eventually he just stood up, and muttered something about not being hungry. As soon as he'd left, I sprung up, made an excuse, and ran after him, stumbling along the way. "Sirius!" I called after him, once I had caught up enough.

He stopped in his tracks, shoulders tensing up, but he didn't turn around. "Sirius- talk to me- please."

"What do you want me to say? I'm sorry I said I liked you? I'm not. Well- I sort of am. But it needed to be said- I couldn't hold it in- Rose and Alice were so sure you liked me too- and well- I figured there was nothing to lose- but apparently there was- Let's just forget it. We'll pretend it never happened- it'll be-"

"Okay- I was lying when I said talk to me. Shut up."

His mouth immediately snapped shut, and I heard his teeth clack together comically. He blinked several times as if he couldn't believe his ears. "Rissa, I-"

I leaned forward and, rather boldly, clamped my hand over his mouth, fixing my eyes on his. "Shut. Up." I ordered again. His lips were sort of rough against my palm, and my stomach did a flip. I felt the blush climbing, and pulled my hand away, folding my both hands behind my back and diverting my eyes down to the floor. "I can't just… act like you didn't say what you said. It doesn't work like that, Sirius."

I chanced a glance at his face- and he looked minutely scared, eyes a bit wider than usual, eyebrows drawn, and lips tight. He didn't look like he was going to interrupt, so I went on, asking tentatively; "Did you mean it?" Just to be sure- so I didn't make an idiot of myself.

"Riss- I'm sorry- I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable- I just… Yeah. I meant it." He reached over to me and ruffled my hair, lips twitching a bit. "I'm sorry if I've freaked you out."

I grabbed his hand before he could pull it away. It was large and rough, and unimaginably warm. "You're such an idiot sometimes." I told him, keeping his hand closed between my two, considerably smaller ones. "I'm not freaked out- just… over-whelmed." I clarified, pulling his hand up and brushing my lips over his knuckles.

Sirius's head tilted to the side curiously, before his grey eyes widened in realization, and he tugged his hand out of my grip, moving it up to cup my cheek, tracing him cheekbone with the pad of his thumb. "In a good way?" He asked, rather stupidly.

"Of course." I answered, leaning into the touch. "But you'll break my heart- I know you will." He'd done it so many times before already. I just felt obligated to warn him.

"Don't say that. I won't. I already promised James. And Lily. And Remus. And Peter, sort of."

I smiled a bit, raising an eyebrow, "Sort of?"

Sirius shrugged, and a silly sort of grin broke across his face, "He told me that you were a good person- and that he didn't want to see you get hurt. And I said that I didn't want to either."

"Oh."

"So… what are we now? Dating? A couple, like Lily and Lames?" He asked, eyebrows rising, hand still cupping my cheek.

I couldn't help but grin, "Not too much like Lily and James, I hope."

He gave a fake little shudder, "Oh no- they're much to nailed down."

"We're more like free-spirits." I agreed.

"Butterflies, fluttering wherever the breeze takes us?"

"As long as it takes us the together."

"That's a given," He said, lips twitching up even more, and he began to lean down, eyes closing.

What was he doing? What- oh god- was he going in for a kiss?

What should I do? How was I supposed to kiss back? Did I want to kiss back? Which way should I turn my head?

**While You Weren't Looking & While You Weren't Looking & While Your Weren't Looking & While You Weren't Looking & While You Weren't Looking & While You Weren't Looking**

"D'I'm d'really d'orry, D'irius." I said, for what must have been the ten-hundredth time, clenching the damp wash cloth to my bleeding nose and wishing that I knew a healing spell.

He only shook his head and continued holding the ice pack he'd conjured to his nose, a little smile twitching at his lips. "It's fine- I should have known. Which you being, well, you, it was bound to be a bad idea to spring a surprise kiss on you." He flopped into his normal armchair, "Sorry I don't know how to heal it…"

"D'it's d'ine. D'ily will d'eal d'it d'or d'e." I assured him.

Sirius reached over and tilted my chin up; "Keeping your held tilted up sometimes helps make the bleeding stop." He explained.

Right- I forgot. He was used to getting hit in the face by bludgers. This couldn't be quite as bad as that. I obeyed, keeping my head tilted up, trying to keep my eyes on him. His nose was slightly crooked- like maybe Madame Pomfrey had accidentally healed his nose wrong after a bludger had broken it. I'd never noticed that before. "You're nose is tweaked slightly to the left," I told him, lifting the washcloth away from my nose to do so, and deciding to sit in the arm chair typically occupied by James, but lying so that my legs and head were draped over the armrests, and my head was still tilted back, and I could look at him upside down.

A smile twitched at his lips once again, "Yeah. And right here," He reached out, and tapped my cheek, to the right of my nose, just above the corner of my lips, "You have a little freckle shaped like a heart."

I reached up, and touched the spot with my own fingers, "I do?" I asked, eyebrows furrowed.

"Yes. And you've got a little scar right under your chin. Where'd you get it from?"

I touched the scar, thinking briefly, "James' seventh birthday party. He was chasing me and I tripped and split it on a coffee table." I answered, glanced at the bloodstained washcloth and tossing it onto the ground. "My mom was always really bad at healing charms. Brilliant at everything else though."

He nodded, and considered it for a second. "What about the scar on your left elbow?" He asked then.

I gaped at him, "First time I tried to fly a broom. When did you notice all of these things?"

The smile turned rueful, "While you weren't looking."

**While You Weren't Looking & While You Weren't Looking & While Your Weren't Looking & While You Weren't Looking & While You Weren't Looking & While You Weren't Looking**

**A/N: **

** The chapter you've all been so patiently(And so NOT so patiently) waiting for. Was it good? Or a disappointment? **

** REVIEW! Come on, number 150! **

**Love,  
Karissa M. **


	23. Everything is an Adventure

**Disclaimer: Not making any money of it, and I don't own any of J. K. Rowling's original characters, plots, ideas, or places. **

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The day the rest of the school flooded back into Hogwarts was... hectic. And scary. I wasn't really sure how to act around Sirius. I don't think even he was sure. In a way, this was unfamiliar ground for both of us. I'd never dated before- he'd never dated seriously before. And while we acted fine on our own, when it was just the two of us, when we were around other people we weren't sure how we were expected to look. We resolved on looking completely awkward. We stood close, but not touching, if some part of our bodies so much as brushed we'd jump apart, and apologize profusely. It was ridiculous- because when we were alone we had no such problems. I mean, well, we were only a week in, but we didn't have a problem hugging, or holding hands, or brushing fingers. By the end of break, at least, we got to acting semi-normal around Lily and the boys. But it could get a bit odd at times.

But we hadn't risked re-trying the whole kissing thing yet. The moment never seemed right. There had been a couple of times, while in the library, that I thought it might happened, when we'd meet eyes and lean in a little bit closer, but there had always been some sort of interruption. James popping out of no where, Tom latching his claws onto my leg, Madame Pince swooping down on us like the great creepy vulture that she was, and ordering my cat be removed from the premises(She was still miffed about him using that book as a litter box.). There was always something.

I wasn't sure I was mad about it, or relieved. The idea simultaneously thrilled and scared me. What if I was no good- I was sure I'd be no good. The daunting thought of all of Sirius' past snogs, and snogging partners loomed in the back of my head. It kept me awake at night, fretting about how I'd compare. A couple of times I'd contemplated asking Lily- but opted not to save myself the embarrassment. The thought of asking Rose, when she and Alice returned, occurred to me as well. But it was a ludicrous idea.

And once again- I wanted to save myself the embarrassment.

I wasn't even sure how to tell them that Sirius and I were together. Was it expected of me? Should I bring it up? Just come out with it as soon as they got back? Or should I not say anything at all and let them find out for themselves? It was a pickle. A pickly-pickle.

Although, if Lily and James kept on like they'd been going for the last week, I wouldn't have to worry about telling anyone. They'd find out from our two best friends, who couldn't stop going on about their plans.

"We can double date!" Suggested Lily.

"We'll all share a flat!" Added James.

"We can have a double wedding!"

"We can have kids at the same time!"

"They can get married!"

"And we'll share the grandkids!"

"WOAH! GUYS!" I shouted, "We started dating_ last week_."

Sirius nodded, looking pale, "We're not talking about moving in together, getting married, and having babies yet."

Lily and James looked rather put out about it. I didn't quite understand them- they hadn't even been dating a year yet, and they were already so eager about all the things old couples did. They wanted to get _married _and have _babies_. I guess it made sense- they loved each other, and were serious, and, with the threat of the Death-Eaters, and 'You-Know-Who' looming, lots of people were moving fast into the marriage and babies things. Molly Prewett and Arthur Weasley had gotten married as soon as they graduated- of course, that had been several years ago, and they already have several kids.

I just knew that I didn't want that- to get married and have kids. I liked Sirius a lot- and for a long time too. But even with him I didn't want that- not yet at least. Maybe later, when I'd found my own way and done my own thing, I'd want that. But not right now- and not for a while. "And I'd rather drown myself in the lake than go on a double date with you two- you're all mushy and..."

"You snog too much." Sirius finished, wrinkling his nose in distaste.

Their expressions sank, as if we'd just ruined all of their dreams, and crushed their deepest desires. "You two...," Muttered James in a dejected voice, "are so cruel and unusual."

When the crowd of chattering Gryffindors returned, the Common Room went from pleasnatly peaceful to a battleground. Everyone was yelling and hugging, and talking about their breaks, I actually had to get down on my hands and knees and crawl on the ground to navigate my way out, following James, Sirius, and Remus' example. It was a sort of adventure, crawling on the floor. It was fun too, Sirius kept on shouting back; "Come on, Riss! I won't leave you here to die!", James kept on 'accidentally' kicking him in the face, and Remus was just trying his best not to get his fingers stepped on. Peter had been with us to begin with, but he'd been carried off by some over-excited fifth years who mistook him for one of their friends. When it had happened Sirius had shouted; "COME BACK HERE WORMY! WE DON'T WANT ANY HEROES!"

"Ouch!" Yelped Remus as his fingers were stepped on again. "Why are we crawling?" He called after Sirius, who was in front of him.

James was the one who answered though, and he was in front of Sirius, "To get through the crowd, _Moony_, _honestly_, for the smart one you sure can be stupid!"

"I just don't-" He stopped crawling for a moment to shove some third year's legs out of his way, "-don't understand why you didn't wave your wand around like you usually do, and part the proverbial Red Sea."

"That would have been a good idea." Noted Sirius.

"Wish we'd thought of that sooner." Agreed James.

"Prats." Muttered Remus.

"Cheer up, mate!" Encouraged James in a cheerful voice. And then shouted, "Stairs ahoy!" And sped up his crawling until he was in the clear on the staircase up to the boy's dormitories.

There was nothing to do but follow- so we did. I was the last one in our little line(Well, Peter had been, but for all we knew those fifth years still had him.) and Sirius took my hands and helped me crawl up, he was grinning stupidly. "_That_ was an adventure."

I could only laugh an shake my head. Being around them it was hard not to laugh. "We crawled across the Common Room, Sirius. That can hardly be considered adventurous." I informed him, sounding so much like Lily that I felt the need to check myself in a mirror, just to be sure my eyes weren't green.

"Want to know a secret?" He asked, leaning and and whispering in me ear, so close I could hear him even over all of the other noise. I nodded. "_Everything _is an adventure." He smiled and pulled me to my feet, keeping my hand closed in his as we followed Remus and James up to the dormitories.

I wasn't sure if I quite agreed with that- I could think of a lot of things that weren't adventures. Homework, for example. Or school work in general. Exams. Quizzes. Potions. Lots of things. The four of us collapsed into their room, laughing for no apparent reason.

"Did we plan a welcoming gift for our darling Slytherin pals?" Asked James, as if he'd only just considered it.

Remus groaned, "Can't we just skip this year?" He asked, flopping onto his bed. It was considerably neater than all the others.

Sirius stretched out on his own bed, leaving me a little spot to sit on."I wouldn't worry about it. Wormy and I dropped off their Christmas gift earlier this week." His grin was absolutely wolfish. "I'm sure they'll thank us at dinner."

James snickered, and laid back, looking rather relaxed. "Padfoot, you dog. You never cease to amaze me." He told him affectionately.

"Oh stop," Sirius shot back playfully,"you're making me blush."

"I'm never going to understand you two." I muttered, running my fingers through my hair and fluffing it out a bit. "Why do you insist on getting yourselves into trouble over Slytherins?"

James made an indignant sound, "Because, _Klarissa_," he said, voice heavy and serious, "they're a load of good-for-nothing gits." Couldn't argue with that- I couldn't think of anything they were actually good for.

"_And_," added Sirius, smiling broadly, "they smell bad."

"Not so bad as your dirty socks." Muttered Remus, throwing a stray sock at Sirius' face. Sirius shrieked and leaned away from it as if it might burn him.

For all I knew, it might. Boys were filthy creatures.

"Let's go for a walk around the lake later," suggested Sirius.

"Pads, I think Riss might get jealous-"

"I wasn't talking to _you_. I was talking to her- _obviously_. Yuck, Prongsie." He picked up the sock as if it might be toxic and flung it at James, and fell off the bed in an attempt not to get hit by it. And then her turned back to me, tilting his head. "Want to?"

I shrugged, then smiled, "Sure, it might be fun. I'll wear your jacket."

"_Your_ jacket. I gave it to _you_." He corrected with a grin, "And it'll be more than fun- it'll be our own personal adventure. Just us two."

I understood what he meant then, when he'd said that everything was an adventure. He hadn't meant that literally everything was an adventure- just that, if you kept your mind open, and adventure could be anything- or everything.

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**Alright, well, it's not particularly long, but I liked ending it there, and since it wasn't a mega-wait, I don't think anyone would get on my case about it. **  
**The 150th reviewer was Luna del Cielo, and she requested a Remus/Tonks. it's a little under 1000 words, and I'm very fond of it. It's title is 'The Making of a Crib', so go take a look. 175th gets to request one as well, so come on guys. That's only 13 reviews. So , judging by averages, we won't get it this chapter, but next chapter we probably will.**

**Please give me some feedback!**

**Karissa M.**


	24. Perfect Snogging

**Disclaimer: Not making any money of it, and I don't own any of J. K. Rowling's original characters, plots, ideas, or places.  
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"Are you warm enough?" Sirius asked me, draping an arm casually across my shoulders as we walked.

I smiled a little bit, and felt my face heat up in embarrassment, "Um- yeah. I'm fine." We were close- not that I had a problem with it- my shoulder bumping against him, our hips brushing every now and again. It was a bit nerve-wracking, but pleasant at the same time. I liked being close to him. I took a brief moment to look up at him and inspect his face, as I liked to do so very often, drinking in his features. His lips were twisting in the familiar lop-sided smile, his eyes were lively and happy-looking, and his hair was getting rather long- flopping into his eyes more than usual.

He bent down, breaking my concentration and pressed a kiss to the top of my head, fondly, before letting his arm slip from around my shoulders and grabbing my hand instead, charging ahead and tugging me after him. "Come on! Let's make a snowman!"

There was nothing I could do but laugh and run along with him- lest I be pulled off my feet and dragged through the snow. We were alone out here- while the rest of the school settled in and huddled around fires, we were tromping through the thick, previously undisturbed snow with a vigor I hadn't known I'd even possessed. I liked it. We started collecting the snow with our mittened hands-well, I was wearing mittens, and Sirius had on gloves. He didn't strike me as a mitten-kind of person- and packing it together tightly, trying to shape it into some semblance of a sphere. It was lumpy and imperfect- but Sirius insisted on it being large. Apparently he was the leading authority on the creation of snowmen, and he knew just how to make them properly.

About halfway through- an hour of cold work later- he abandoned the quest for the perfect snowman in lieu of smothering me with an armful of snow. I tried to dodge it but ended up tripping and falling face first in the snow anyway. It was very cold. And wet. I shrieked my indignation and hopped back to my feet as fast as I could. "SIRIUS-!"

I received a handful of snow in the face. The ice stung horribly, and I tackled him, yelling and laughing all at once. "Argh! That's cold!" He yelped helplessly, trying to wiggle away from me and back to his feet, I wrapped my arms around him and held on tightly, trying to keep him in the snow as long as possible. We rolled around in the snow as a mess of yelping giggling clothing and limbs, pinching each other's arms, kicking at shins, and doing anything to gain the upper hand on the other. After about five minutes Sirius yelped out; "Fine, fine! I surrender! I bow to your superior snow-battle abilities! Release me, Oh-Great-And-Powerful Rissa!"

"Never." I laughed and kissed his nose carefully, framing his face with my mitten-clad hands.

A mischievous sort of glint sparked to life in his eyes, and his hands were suddenly on my arms, Gripping me and rolling us over so that he was hovering above me. His hair tickled my nose, and I could feel his breath tickling my lips. "Gotcha." And then he kissed me.

Let me tell you something- whatever you think kissing is- well, it's not. Because I had this idea about kissing already in my head- that it would be slobbery, and sort of awkward- and I guess it might be with a guy that's not very good at it- but that wasn't how it was at all. Sirius' lips were warm, and a little bit chapped, but not uncomfortably so. True- there was a sort of rough rub to it- I guess stubble? I couldn't see any, but I supposed it was still there- but even that was sort of nice. It was pleasant- and I could forget about being cold and that we were lying in the snow and everything for however long our lips were connected- I couldn't tell how long it was, only that I wanted it to last longer.

When he finally pulled away he looked a bit sheepish, and his cheeks were mildly pink- although that might have been because of the cold. "We should probably-"

"Do that more often?" I offered. It seemed like a good ending to that sentence, and I was feeling slightly light-headed.

He laughed, a pleasant happy laugh, and rolled off of me. "I was going to say 'go inside before we freeze', but I like your idea too."

There was really nothing to do but laugh after that, lying together in the snow, feeling foolish and young and playful. When we finally did get back up and start heading back towards the castle we were holding hands and neither of us could stop smiling.

I couldn't think of a single moment in time when I had been more happy or carefree.

We had to sneak back to the Common Room, because if Filch had caught us we would have gotten hell for tracking melted snow and mud all over the castle. As it was we could hardly keep our voices to a whispering level, and kept breaking into giggles. Luckily no one was out and about- because we would have surely been caught if they were.

Things had died down a bit when we got back to the Common Room- some of the crowd had migrated back to their dormitories to unpack their belongings. We actually had room to breathe now. "Oi, you two!" Shouted a sixth year from the quidditch team, " 'Bout time! Congrats!"

My face went from normal to beet red. Sirius just made a rude hand gesture and laughed. "James and Lily must have made some big deal about it." He guessed.

"Buggers," I muttered unhappily, feeling a bit self-conscious all of the sudden. After all- how ridiculous did I look next to Sirius? I was small, and pale, and freckly, and red-haired (And not the type of beautiful red hair like Lily had, either. Hers was dark, and beautiful- mine was light and wiry.). And Sirius was tall, with a healthy tan, and his floppy black hair- I probably looked like a raggedy-Anne doll in comparison. More like some kid he was baby-sitting than a girlfriend. He didn't seem at all affected by it- his cheeks were a bit pink, but he was still smiling at me, which made me feel better. "Alright- see you later." I gave his hand a squeeze before letting it go.

He placed a quick peck on my cheek, still grinning like a fool and causing my face to heat up further. "M'kay. Don't let this bug you too much, yeah? I'm not _that_ embarrassing."

I couldn't help but grin at that, tilting my head and looking thoughtful for a moment. "Theoretically, I suppose not." I dodged the playful smack he aimed at my head, and skirted away up the stairs, feeling mildly better.

"Sooo…" Started Alice, as soon as I entered the Dormitory, carefully folding together her socks (She's very peculiar about her socks- and get's really upset if she splits up a pair. Weird, but it _is_ Alice...) "You and Sirius."

I gave a groan and flopped onto my bed. "Do we really have to talk about this?" I asked, mumbling the words into my pillow. Damnit- why was it such an ordeal when two people started dating? It seemed so silly. Why did my and Sirius' relationship have to become public information?

"Yes!" Squealed Rose, hopping from her bed to mine. "I want to know everything!"

"Have you kissed?" Asked Alice.

"How did it happen?"

"Why did you cut your hair?"

"It looks cute!"

"Shut up." I groaned, burrowing under a pillow and wishing them away.

Lily was just snickering to herself, apparently at my general awkwardness.

Damn girls and their nosy gossip-hungry habits. I tried to keep my lips sealed, but it was hard. They were so _persistent_. "We just sort of… I dunno. I don't want to talk about it!" I told them, face completely red. Why was it so hard to talk about? Lily talked about James all of the time (More than I wanted to know, let me tell you!), and seemed to have no problem with it. Lily and I were just… different, I guess. She was bolder than me. It didn't mean that I liked Sirius any less than she likes James. It just meant that maybe I wasn't as open a person as she was.

They laughed at me, giggling, and chattering on about other things.

I didn't join in, instead finding myself tracing my newly-kissed lips absent mindedly, sighing in a love-sick sort of way, and thinking of the perfect way Sirius' hand held mine.

That is until I realized that my clothing really _was_ soaked all the way through, and that I really _should_ change if I didn't want to catch cold.

With the discovery of how nice a kiss could be, I really didn't want to catch a cold. That would mean not being able to snog Sirius for fear of getting him sick. And I really couldn't have that. Snogging was pleasant.

Snogging with Sirius was _perfect_.


End file.
